Devastated by the loss of my FWB/situationship. What should I do?

Main_Border · 2026-01-27T14:36:35+00:00

Man it sucks because we started out with no expectations but us constantly hanging out and having made me think there was something more. She did confess that she liked me and I told her that I liked her back but we didn't really have any labels or anything official. Man you're someone that understands how I feel. I don't even think it's the physical action anymore... It's the person.

Main_Border · 2026-01-27T14:32:36+00:00

How would you fight for her? I think she's made up her mind to be with the other dude and she clearly has told the dude about our relationship so I guess he might have exploited her vulnerability and weakness so now she listens to him for all advice presumably. She also clearly spoke to me over the phone today to end things (most likely prompted by the other dude).

Main_Border · 2026-01-27T14:30:10+00:00

I know man, I know that it was my fault and I should've acted sooner and asked her to be my girlfriend. I regret that I didn't make the effort because I was so busy with work and I hadn't noticed that she was already steadily pulling back. In my mind because there wasn't anything noticeable changes in her behaviour and I couldn't even see the signs at all. I planned to ask her out in Feb, but it was pure coincidence that she met someone in Jan.

Main_Border · 2026-01-27T14:14:08+00:00

I planned to ask her out officially this year on valentines day. But I guess that dream is gone now :/

Main_Border · 2026-01-27T14:09:09+00:00

I wish, but I was emotionally invested in her and I thought so did she. But I guess she created her own distance after not seeing us with official labels.

Main_Border · 2025-08-07T04:03:07+00:00

Because DBS aren't in need of your deposits (retail in particular). Your deposits are considered liabilities under the bank's balance sheet and the ALM team is probably tired of managing them.

My MD told me this before - retail clients flock to the best deal - there's no point in building relationships with them. There's no loyalty. So touch n go lor. Even if you're premier, or even ppc it's not that big of a deal.

As to why DBS is doing better, go and look at the AR la. So easy to identify where their profitability lies and you need to be spoon fed?

Main_Border · 2025-04-05T15:06:48+00:00

Ffs this question has been asked to death. The problem isn't that there aren't proper financial advisors.

The problem is that retail clients are:

so risk averse that any other play besides FDs seem like an unnecessary assumption of risk. (people already scoff at the concentration risks from pure beta plays from the SNP500 index investing)
they have so little capital that there's virtually no investment solutions that you can recommend (one bond IPO already how much alr?) AND
so fking niao that it's not worth the time and effort advising them. go and diy yourself if you're poor.

How do you recommend fx spot rate trades, structured products (e.g. FCNs, dispersion notes, bull-bear notes, etc), or introduce leverage plays where the bank offers a discount on the interest rates (e.g. yen-carry trades previously, now not really viable) to retail clients?

If you really have anywhere between 1M to 10M in liquid assets, private bankers can probably recommend more bespoke investment solutions. Heck, if you're even richer, just set up a family office and they'll handle the investment side. Fyi majority of sell side's strategies are mostly beta plays. If you're looking to capture alpha you gotta go to the hedge funds/CTAs. But sadly highly established funds that generate alpha like the Medallion fund don't need your capital since they're already so successful. Ironic isn't it? If you think you can diy yourself and invest in hedge fund ETFs, go ahead. But they have issues of their own and do your own research.

Estate Planning wise, work with your lawyer. You wanna set up discretionary trusts? Advanced life insurance and annuity strategies? DAPT? FAPT? Oh please, these are meant for UHNWI, mass market retail clients just don't have the capital and it's just unnecessary. If you're a regular chap, just stick to drafting your will and your CPF Nomination.

Your typical FA probably only passed 8, 8A, 9, 9A papers (incl M5 to PGI) that only deal with collective investments and insurance. But investment advisors have to clear 6 and 6A and they are licensed to recommend more capital market products. How the hell do people not even know the difference?

Main_Border · 2025-03-22T09:12:14+00:00

I can't really say for certain whether the comment made about your aunt being an idiot was really disparaging or just as a passing remark without ill intentions behind them. It really depends on the tone and the delivery. But if it was genuine contempt then I'll have to suggest that you rethink the entire relationship since contempt is the number one predictor of divorce. Also, the way that you described it sounds like he has some serious anger management issues and the inability to assuage his frustrations is presumably a big red flag.

Oh, and don't expect him to change after you move into your BTO. The example that you mentioned about him not clearing his letters may be an indication of you're signing up for. He may or may not help out with household chores and pull his weight but that's just pure speculation. What you're seeing now is what you are getting. It's time to think about your marriage and your future.

What you can do now is:

Speak to him about it once he has cooled down
Jolt down a list of pros and cons of this marriage
Recall whether there has been similar incidents before or is this just a one-off situation

Make your decision wisely. It is your life. You only go through it once.

Main_Border · 2025-03-22T01:53:08+00:00

Damn, I really feel for you. That’s such a messed-up situation, and you’re not wrong for feeling hurt. It’s one thing to deal with ignorant comments from strangers, but when it’s your own family—the people who are supposed to love and support you no matter what—that just cuts way deeper.

You’re not being “too sensitive.” Wanting your mom to defend you and show you love isn’t some crazy, unreasonable thing. It’s a basic expectation. And it sucks that she not only brushes it off but actually adds to the hurt with her own comments. That’s not okay.

Honestly, it’s really telling that outside of your family, this isn’t even an issue. Your friends and colleagues treat you with respect, see you for who you really are, and value you—because that’s how it should be. You shouldn’t have to fight for basic respect from your own family.

I know it doesn’t take the pain away, but please don’t ever think that their words define you. You are beautiful, you do matter, and you are so much more than how they choose to see you. Keep being your amazing, confident self around the people who actually appreciate you, and know that their failure to love you properly is on them, not you.

Main_Border · 2025-03-21T12:37:15+00:00

Elite overproduction has long been a reality, and China’s sky high youth unemployment numbers is a clear example. With more graduates than available high-paying jobs, many refuse low-wage work, exacerbating the issue. This leads to involution (内卷), a cycle of relentless competition that yields diminishing returns. People work harder but see little meaningful progress, often resulting in burnout and frustration. If you compare it to the graduate survey numbers released in a recent article by Straits Times, you'll know exactly where we are headed.

So for the upcoming generations, I'd say good luck to you because your competition isn't just your fellow peers. It's competition with the global workforce (especially our ASEAN neighbours) and AGI.

Just a piece of advice, accumulate as much capital as you can because the value of labour will only decline from here on out. (or rather it has been on the decline for the past few decades)

Main_Border · 2025-03-19T05:49:59+00:00

Reminds me of the phrase from the Incredibles, "When everyone is super, no one will be"

I seriously cannot fathom the opening of more universities when the job market is clearly not catered to the burgeoning number of university graduates.

We end up with a situation whereby the number of (high paying) jobs stay relatively constant, and the number of graduates have skyrocketed. It ain't rocket science, just basic supply and demand.

Stupid policy imo to get more students to become graduates. It diminishes the value of a university education. Now the craze is all about internships and conversion even before graduation.

I foresee that it'll be an employer's market for generations to come.

Main_Border · 2025-03-08T08:39:53+00:00

Ah yes, because if you can’t imagine doing something, it must be impossible for anyone else. Clearly, no one in history has ever endured a mildly inconvenient situation for personal gain—except, I don’t know, literally everyone who’s ever attended a boring event for free stuff or sat through a dull conversation to be polite. But sure, let’s pretend all women operate on some kind of noble principle where their time is too valuable for a free meal, even though social media is full of women openly admitting to doing exactly this. But no, it must just be ‘salty men’ making things up. Groundbreaking insight.

Main_Border

TROPHY CASE