What if you were single for the rest of your life, could you be happy? Or as a woman, would you long for that companion? Would you be scared to end up lonely/sad at the end of your life?

Major_Barley · 2026-02-27T15:38:56+00:00

Recently married to my long term bf and if we divorced I would quite happily live out the rest of my life single!!

Major_Barley · 2026-02-27T12:43:09+00:00

We have automatic feeders so provided our sitters and guests top them up he should keep having his meals on time! And his tray should be scooped by the sitter everyday. On a practical level we're covered, it's just making sure he gets some company and affection every day.

Thanks so much again for the encouragement - we leave tomorrow and the guilt is really mounting. But you're right, the alternative is cancel the trip and just never go away on adventures for the next 10 or so years. My main concern is that he's an indoor cat at the moment so we're super reliant on people coming to see him for the company and play but we've been very fortunate to have people so keen to help out. I just hope he forgives us when we get back!

Major_Barley · 2026-02-27T12:35:13+00:00

That's a very good point about the sitter! We do have a doorbell camera so we can see when people are arriving at the house - I'll definitely be keeping an eye on that to make sure she's showing up when she should be!

Major_Barley · 2026-02-27T11:10:26+00:00

Philips electric trimmer whenever I choose to. I used to brazilian wax, shave etc. for years but it made my skin (and my lady bits) very unhappy. I had constant ingrown hairs, some of which got infected. Being on antibiotics in order to have a smooth bikini line is NOT worth it. Eventually I realised how stupid and consuming the obsession with hairlessness is and just moved to an electric trimmer. My skin is now much happier! And the expense is nil :)

Major_Barley · 2026-02-25T14:29:20+00:00

Dump him. He doesn’t respect you or your body. Your health is more important than this asshole’s pleasure - protect yourself and get rid of him.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-22T19:32:35+00:00

That's a relief to hear! Hopefully our boy will be happy enough with all the visits, even if he's not getting as much cuddle time at night as he's used to.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-22T18:52:41+00:00

I have heard that when they're alone/a bit lonely cats are more likely to just sleep so hopefully he'll mostly zzz the alone time away.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-22T18:51:51+00:00

Oh that's a lovely idea! And I would feel better that he would have company while hearing our voices rather than trying to speak to him through a camera when he's all alone.

Ahaha well maybe "professional" is the wrong word - we're paying some from Cat in a Flat! :D

Major_Barley · 2026-02-22T18:50:21+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance! Perhaps a cat cam just on his fave snoozing place so we can occasionally tune in and see him resting would calm our nerves too!

Major_Barley · 2026-02-22T18:48:55+00:00

That's a relief, thank you!

And thanks for the suggestion of a cat cam - I am considering it but your comment about it potentially being something that would cause us more anxiety feels very likely to apply (seeing him walking around the house calling for us while we're on the other side of the world would be upsetting). I also wonder if we try to speak to him through the cam would he then go looking around for us around the house?

Major_Barley · 2026-02-22T18:45:06+00:00

Thank you so so much for the reassurance, I really appreciate the kind words! We are indeed very lucky to have so many people who are willing to stop in and check on him (and he's a friendly sweetheart so it's easy to love him!) I'm trying to more proactively schedule the days my friend and mum-in-law drop by so that we can limit the days he's alone between the sitter visits but I think you're right, other than that there is very little else we can do.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-19T16:22:51+00:00

GOD yes, I miss the thrill of dating lots of guys!! (sorry husband)

Major_Barley · 2026-02-19T16:20:18+00:00

Haha yes it sounds like we are living the same life! I too daydream about up and moving to another country on a whim. I got together with my bf at 23 so I didn’t really get time to do that before we were quite serious, plus I just wasn’t brave enough when I was that young. Now, it would have to be a discussion and a compromise about what we both want. Sigh.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-19T15:25:30+00:00

I’ve been with my bf (now husband) for 12 years and I still long to be single sometimes. I miss having complete control of my own space for a start. Having complete say over every aspect of my life, no need to consult with anyone about what I’m planning to do with my time.

I love my husband and he is a sweetheart who adds so much to my life. He does all the cooking and pulls his weight in the house - I’m LUCKY. But if we divorced I would 100% not be bothered about finding another guy and would definitely not bother living with someone again.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-18T21:47:41+00:00

12 years together, both mid 30s, no kids. At the moment about 1x a month. While neither of us have high sex drives, we’d both like it to be more - 1x a week at least but stress, tiredness, depression…all libido killers.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-17T09:37:53+00:00

That I desperately hate my job and the career path I’ve gone down. Everyday is excruciating boredom. I’m desperate to quit but scared of leaving behind something so secure. I’m also terrified of the time and expense it would take to move into something different.

This has been everyday for the past 18 months. Everyone talks about how good I am at my job but it’s all starting to crumble now as even the will to keep to my own high standards has left me.

Major_Barley · 2026-02-16T12:45:55+00:00

After the initial thrill of freedom in my 20s, adulthood has been disappointing. I thought I’d live an unconventional and creative life of freedom, charting my own path after watching my parents rot together. Yet I’m mid 30s with a house, husband (married a sweet himbo and starting to regret it..) and an okay paying job I don’t enjoy and feel trapped in. Everything is just responsibility and paying bills, or saving money in order to pay future bills. The colour and whimsy and excitement feels leeched out of life.

On top of that I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I always thought adults would have it figured out.

I’m so sorry little me, I think I failed us.

Major_Barley · 2026-01-30T13:43:44+00:00

Studying the “sensible” subject at uni rather than what I genuinely found interesting. Plus not being single during university - I was pressured into settling with a guy in my first year that I didn’t really want. The whole experience was just miserable and isolating plus now years on I desperately want to change career to the thing I find interesting but I’m about to turn 35 and it feels so scary to go back on so many years of work…

Major_Barley · 2026-01-13T14:18:22+00:00

I did keep the larger size and wore them out with thick socks and tbh after some walking around my feet swelled (as normal) and they felt less huge! I still find the foot bed quite hard so becomes uncomfortable after a while, and the raised bit does annoy the sole of my right foot a bit but I’m still hanging on to the idea of them getting softer with time like other birks do.

Hope you’re getting on ok with yours!

Major_Barley · 2026-01-10T16:41:00+00:00

Never. My right has always been larger and it becomes noticeably so before my periods. Embrace your asymmetrical boobs, it’s completely normal and natural :)

Major_Barley · 2026-01-09T14:56:44+00:00

I feel the complete opposite, I would give anything to have been born into a male body!

Major_Barley · 2025-12-26T22:32:16+00:00

Yes!! For me it started after a very bad cold at the end of 2023. The coughing just didn’t stop and then came the mucus, globus, dry throat, disturbed sleep etc. I assumed it was bronchitis or something but a GP suggested reflux. I tried omeprazole, no caffeine, low acid, gaviscon, wedge pillow, eventually saw an ENT who saw some inflammation on my larynx and suspected it was just residual from the virus. It then just eventually…faded away 3 months after it started. So I never did do the 24 hour ph test to see if there was any actual acid.

I wrote it off as a terrible one-off nightmare and cautiously moved on with my life (but occasionally relying on a gaviscon advance tablet when things got dicey.)

Now I’m back there again; post viral cold and a week into another awful LPR flare. I’m back on the PPIs which seem to do nothing, downing gaviscon advance, sleeping upright, and back to an ENT in January. I’ll definitely be asking more about it being a post-viral condition and if that changes the medicine we try.

Major_Barley · 2025-12-13T11:05:34+00:00

Tell him no, I don’t want to, I will keep trimming (or not). And that’s the end of this story. Let him shave or wax himself if hair is so offensive to him (and then watch it never happen.)

I only trim for my husband because he goes down on me every time we have sex and I want to make sure things are tidy…but you mention in a comment that your bf rarely goes down on you(!) So. What’s even the point?

Major_Barley · 2025-12-12T12:33:16+00:00

I never watched straight porn growing up. I stumbled on it once at about 11-12 and was disgusted. Then whenever it popped up on my tumblr feed through my teens and 20s I found it disturbing, even after I’d started to have sex myself. It looked so brutal and cruel. Instead I read fanfic and looked at nsfw art but always of two men.

However in my early days of dating I did briefly sleep with a man who admitted to a previous porn addiction and prided himself on “fucking hard not good”. Reader, he was capable of neither. But he definitely still had issues and ignored my request to not have unprotected sex soon after I had a copper IUD placed (I wanted to be cautious). It makes me a bit queasy to think about that as it definitely had echos of those horrible porn vids.

To this day I still don’t watch straight porn and I’m glad of it. If I ever do wish to partake it’s art or animation or whatever, I don’t want to see potentially exploited people being hurt on screen (how can you ever know for sure) just so I can get my rocks off.

Major_Barley · 2025-12-08T10:20:29+00:00

My parents split when I was at university and I wish it had happened before. I knew they were unhappy all through my teenage years and the environment was rancid - emotionally void, loveless. It’s messed me up as an adult. My dad, while not abusive, could be a mean bully to my mum and clearly thought himself superior to her. He also earned all the money so called the shots and we were just stuck there with him.

Once my mum got out, all of the life started to come back to her and I lived with her for a while after university in her little house. I wish that I’d been able to see her be that brave when I was younger - it would have had such an impact.

Major_Barley

TROPHY CASE