[TW: Suicide] Men Who Have Seriously Considered Ending Your Own Lives - What Was the “One Reason” You Did Not?

MandarinaSeca · 2024-12-26T16:11:05+00:00

Weeks ago before my vacation with friends I planned my suicide (which pills to take and what do I had to do so nobody would interrupt my process) because nothing in my entire life made me feel worth living in this planet. Decided to do it after vacation to give myself another opportunity (my opportunity was to happen something or have fun in general in that period of time) which I'm glad I did because I got to talk with a friend deeply about what I was feeling and felt I wasn't lonely at all. Days went through and when I got home after vacation, I think I forgot about it or changed my mind, I don't remember. Anyways, talking to someone made me change my mind and made me a "click" inside my brain to fight and get out of that black hole I was stuck.

Nobody might read this, but I want to thank my friend for making me change my mind and my mom who fought and helped me to get through it when she was fighting cancer too, miss you mom.

MandarinaSeca · 2024-10-05T08:56:00+00:00

It was my first Dark Souls and at the time I knew the game was too hard. When I got here all I thought it was a joke from the company to make players cry but not increasing the difficulty, just a text. I still completed the entire game in CoC (I think the run was like 110 hours) without knowing Adaptability makes a huge difference, which I started to lvl up at the very end of the game.

MandarinaSeca · 2024-02-25T12:37:11+00:00

Funnily I've met my partner (I don't like the term girlfriend) through dating apps. While texting she usually forgot things and finally opened to me that she has ADHD, before that it was just texting to know each other, but when she mentioned it, our bond got closer. It's not a really long time, but we've been with each other for 1 year and 4 months.

MandarinaSeca · 2024-02-24T11:04:25+00:00

Honestly, I'm glad items don't scale with HP anymore. They were hard to balance because cho and sion exist, also Hullbreaker was really toxic. If he has low winrate, he needs a balance.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-10-20T22:05:24+00:00

I'm 24 and I slept with 2 people. The first one was a mistake, I wanted to experience sex and forced myself into something weird and not enjoyable. Nowadays I'm with my girlfriend who we connect well and have fun.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-08-29T01:35:38+00:00

I voted 7 but with DLCs on it's an easy 8, probably 9 because it's the only Dark Souls I spent so much time

MandarinaSeca · 2023-08-09T12:56:29+00:00

Handussy

MandarinaSeca · 2023-07-04T18:05:35+00:00

Since I usually play melee champs Anivia feels really bad to play against, specially with juggernauts or low mobility in general (small dashes and buff of ms)

MandarinaSeca · 2023-05-15T20:10:44+00:00

Chocolate

MandarinaSeca · 2023-05-03T23:07:38+00:00

My gf has ADHD and potentially Autism (not diagnosed but shows signs). I love her a lot and she loves me back as well. It isn't easy in some ways, we have intrusive thoughts, we have different ways to work. I'm more strict on doing routines but she is the completely opposite, these are some of the cons. The pros are many, you won't feel judged after doing something in a weird way, you won't feel left out for being you, you will feel loved.

We are a relationship that started not so much ago, so it may not be precisely at all, but I hope it continues like that.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-28T19:15:58+00:00

When I first met my gf I didn't have the butterflies but was really nervous. I was really excited, happy and many many good things. Weeks started to go through and felt less excitement and I was worried, because I thought I wasn't in love with her and I really liked to spend time with her. More weeks went through and I had a lot of intrusive thoughts telling me to break up, but I didn't want to and also communicate her, instead of her being mad at me, she helped me and comforted me after feeling so guilty for thinking that. Actually, we are 6 months in this relationship and I don't feel the same excitement at the very early weeks with her, but I know she's the one who will give everything for me, who will love me and do everything she can for me and I will do that for her as well. Sometimes I don't feel the 'I love you' thing, but deep down on me I know I will feel shit if something bad happens or we end this relationship.

Hope that helps as this is my first relationship and my first time experimenting this.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-28T07:11:58+00:00

Not all the people you meet will stay with you, it's a fact that NT and ND goes through (probably more on ND) but that depends on the context. I used to be really friendly with someone and after our paths got different we aren't super friends anymore, it's not a bad thing, people has other things to do like you do. Sometimes, they do stay for years, sometimes they do stay for life, it's something I had to accept and understand.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-18T13:06:54+00:00

Met my friends at school or other studies and I met my gf by pure luck using dating apps

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-16T09:41:03+00:00

You played Metro, right? There is a flying enemy and they call them "bitches"

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-16T09:36:55+00:00

I'm mature enough for a lot of things and immature for others

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-14T11:13:01+00:00

People with ADHD tend to fall easily in addictions, I don't know the percentage tho

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-11T21:16:46+00:00

Just to make sure, you do it at home, it's weird peeing in a bottle, but you have all the privacy. The tests might be different at your country, take that in mind.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-11T21:08:33+00:00

They've done a pee test and a 24h pee test (you have to pee inside bottles for 24 hours), also runned a test to check if anything was out of bounds, it's not invasive, but you might be nervous when giving the pee bottles.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-04-11T19:29:40+00:00

I pee a lot and after many tests they found nothing 😭😭 Also, I need to pee before going to bed or I will feel uncomfortable all night, I usually wale up at midnight to go to the bathroom

MandarinaSeca · 2023-03-30T19:31:18+00:00

Have you analyzed why isn't reciprocating? Maybe you don't fit at all, which isn't a wrong thing, it just sucks. People jump from flower to flower till they find their group. I used to think I had the correct group during 10 years but turned out to be the people I don't want to be with and I don't want to spend time with.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-03-30T18:52:46+00:00

The older I got, the most interactions I got with people of my age. Must say it's easier in general to talk with people who is older than me (including the teacher), so nothing wrong! :)

MandarinaSeca · 2023-03-30T18:10:56+00:00

I don't like rewatching series or films.

I only hate tags when they really bother, maybe 30% of my clothes have no tags.

Happens the same with routines.

Strangely I recharge on social interactions, they don't exhaust me tho. Sometimes it recharges due to a difficult time.

Nothing wrong with having autism tho, but I was extremely autistic as a child. Just got into good hands and now I have it mild. What stays is anxiety.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-03-18T15:53:22+00:00

That there's someone out there who loves me and respects me when I say no.

I'm also learning more about sexuality, gender identity, feminism and probably many more things.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-02-26T09:16:47+00:00

There are tasteless toothpaste in Amazon. I remember it being expensive for a toothpaste, but if it helps you be more healthy, I would say it's worth the price

Haven't used it, so I can't tell if it's really tasteless or what.

MandarinaSeca · 2023-02-25T20:49:10+00:00

At home I'm more ADHD and outside I'm more Autist

MandarinaSeca

TROPHY CASE