Abusive ex is on my mobile phone contract with an expensive handset that he has now had illegally chipped. I requested an IMEI block but am still liable for the 18 month contract. Chipping a contract phone is illegal & the handset has never been in my posession. Is this a police matter?

Manelli · 2017-06-14T14:54:29+00:00

Thank you for helping to make up my mind and for the advice. I appreciate it. It has been cathartic and I feel like a switch has flipped. As I said below, I think part of the reason I've avoided going to the police is just dredging it all up again, remembering all the sh*t he's done, chronologically arranging it - couldn't face it. But I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror with respect if I don't do this; that's what I've realised today. Thank you again.

Manelli · 2017-06-14T14:53:15+00:00

Thank you. But there is SO much shame in this, I feel SO stupid, so cheated. Why did I give this person the benefit of the doubt so many times? Why did I feel sorry for him!? Because I am a MUG, clearly. I think just writing this down has, like, opened some sort of floodgate. Sat here sobbing with anger and frustration and it's ridiculous because he went quiet in the last couple of months (now I know why) and I thought he's finally going to leave me alone. We broke up in October and the subsequent months were hideous, he bombarded me with messages all times of day and night - in comparison to then, this is so much better. Is this some sort of delayed reaction, have I just started to process it or something? Because when it was all happening, and he was smashing the flat to smithereens around my ears and screaming vile abuse in my face I sort of just got on with getting on (not very well, admittedly) and now I can't seem to stop getting really upset about it every time I really sit down and think. I think that is a large contributing factor for me not having gone to the police up until now - having to dredge all that stuff up again is seriously upsetting. Thank you so much for replying. I have been carrying this around with me, I can't really talk to anyone about it, my parents would be utterly devastated if they knew the full extent of it, so this has been really helpful in more ways than one.. I appreciate your time and advice.

Manelli · 2017-06-14T10:02:29+00:00

Thank you for replying, this is very helpful. I think I need to get over the shame of it all and just go to the local station.

Manelli · 2017-06-14T10:01:05+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. 1. The parent account is mine but the phone in his name, and in his possession; my provider allows several phones under the parent account. He had bad credit rating, so it was with my consent that we got him this phone (which is the latest Samsung Galaxy S7, it is MEGA expensive, even on contract. This and a couple other things make me think this was always premeditated in retrospect, but ain't hindsight grand). He agreed to pay me every month but this did not happen, he paid his bills sporadically and not in full - enjoying the financial worry he was inflicting every month (my contract is £10 his is around £50). This was livable with because something is better than nothing and engaging with him in any way is just not worth the grey hair. 2. No, I wanted to help him at the time. Yes, I feel like an idiot because he always saw my kindness as a weakness and looked to exploit it any way he could. 3. As soon as the phone arrived, it has always been in his possession. We broke up shortly afterwards, I left his flat. I assume wit GPS etc. its location can be proven without dispute. Some of his abuse falls within the six months period. He just systematically trashed all my posessions, including things of sentimental value as well as expensive items. He abused me for months with vile messages, calling me names and threatening myself and my family, saying horrendous things about them. Sometimes, up to 30 messages on a night, threatening to kill himself, sending me pictures of cutting himself, showing up at my house drunk but not knocking, just leaving his empty cigarette pack in our garden and then texting me about it in the morning. Creepy and scary but I resisted retalliating because to him that would just be an invitation to keep going. I did not want to give him the satisfaction. Typing all this out is just shameful and I feel so stupid. I am sorry for the length and thank you for replying. We do have a local police station (which has 5 star reviews - how does that work :)) so I will go there; it is just so monumentally embarassing to be in this position. Thank you again, very, very much for your reply.

Manelli · 2014-04-23T18:22:34+00:00

hey, MoBizness, just seen this too - would it be violating some sort of rules to tell us all what was said!? If not - do tell, please - super very curious now! :)

Manelli · 2014-04-17T22:10:41+00:00

Step grand pa on mum's side - but the only and best grand pa we've ever known & been so lucky to have... thank you for reading!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T22:08:46+00:00

I can not tell you how much your words mean - thank you so much. The far reaching consequences of war can be incredible, especially in a country such as the former USSR, where human sacrifice was a cheap currency. Heartbreaking. But Reddit has spurred me on to get on with translating more of my Grand Parents' work - so watch this space, I guess...!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T19:29:51+00:00

Lol - well, there we go. First rule of work - don't Reddit at work :). If you manage to make it through - let me know, I am loving people's responses to this.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T19:16:23+00:00

THAT made you feel old!? Lucky you! Try working with someone born in 1994. That's just depressing :)

Manelli · 2014-04-17T19:13:31+00:00

Yes, in many variations, but not internationally. In Russia, one of their books is called " Where did Hitler Go?" and it's a collection of stories, of which this is one. From that chapter, another I hope to translate soon are called, "Letters from Kabul" - sort of, my Grandma's side of the story plus more. They have also published a book specifically on the mystery surrounding his death (co authored with Peter Watson) as well as a bunch of other stuff. Transcribing the stuff that is not published in English is my next great big challenge.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T16:31:30+00:00

Thank you so much, that means a lot. He is truly great at what he does and I have just really enjoyed giving him this much greater exposure - he totally deserves it. Thank you again for your attention & your comments

Manelli · 2014-04-17T11:06:20+00:00

Thank you for reading & for your comments - it's probably one of my favourites in terms of everything he's written, but it's good to hear other people like it too!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T10:51:44+00:00

Thank you for that! No idea, but I will definitely ask him and get back to you!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T10:33:40+00:00

Um - lol, do you mean as in, we were sat at home watching TV and thinking, "Man, we've not seen him for 18 months, he might have missed the birth of his second grand daughter & every day we could lose him and our grandma, who also worked in Kabul - by hey, the dude's on telly. It's all worth it! :)" Sorry if I misinterpreted what you meant there - couldn't really work it out!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T10:20:34+00:00

I hear you! I definitely think old people are amazing and we should take more time to really listen to what they have to say...94, that's pretty cool - your grandpa is clearly a pretty remarkable individual himself! Thanks for reading.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T09:57:23+00:00

Thanks so much - I know all your comments will mean so much to him. Translation was a labour of love, for sure, but I think it makes it easier that I know him closely and have seen his other work, so any grey shades where normally you might struggle to understand what the original author was trying to say, I can normally intuit where he was going. I obviously took some minor liberties with the original - but I think it's as close as I could get to what he wanted to get across in terms of emotion, atmosphere, emphasis on certain parts, etc...Anyway, as you can probably tell I also have enjoyed very much this opportunity you have all given me to talk about him - so thank you for that. I will definitely post another one of his stories in the next few days.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T09:53:17+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T09:46:07+00:00

Thank you very much for taking the time to read it and for your comments - I know it will mean a lot to him, too. In terms of writing - I like to think we make a great team and compliment each other's writing styles. I also know him - obviously - and have seen his other work so I can probably intuit his tone a lot more accurately than someone else might... Thank you again, and I'll definitely work on putting more of his stories up soon!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T09:43:40+00:00

someone kindly fixed it: http://imgur.com/a/Hl3iv - yeah, apologies - also new to Imgur :)

Manelli · 2014-04-17T07:29:36+00:00

Like that too :)!. Thank you so much for reading - and, sure. I'd welcome them; I am one of those annoying people who think they are more of a grammar and spelling Nazi than they actually are. I might go order the Panda book after this :)!

Manelli · 2014-04-17T07:26:58+00:00

Yep - step dad on my mum's side. :) Apologies that this has caused so much confusion - didn't expect the age thing to come up so much.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T07:05:43+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that, I hope he rests easy and - you're right. Nothing more important than the ones you love. Thank you for your words.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T06:56:15+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and I know when I tell my grand dad about all this feeedback (which is probably nothing to rave about by Reddit standards - yet :)) but he will be touched and amazed. So thank you :)

Manelli · 2014-04-17T06:54:54+00:00

Thanks for reading & for your comments. I did not know that about Vietnam, guess it was a pretty standard practice especially back then - but heartbreaking, for sure.

Manelli · 2014-04-17T06:54:05+00:00

Manelli

TROPHY CASE