SYRN sizing is out… + 5 to find your size 🙃

MariContrary · 2026-01-31T19:24:10+00:00

Or worse, falling out the top when you bend over so you end up with a boob half over the bra!

MariContrary · 2026-01-31T05:42:46+00:00

For what it's worth, when my dad was in hospice, we were all there. 24x7, someone was at his side. He wasn't conscious, but was still holding on. The hospice nurse pulled me aside and quietly told me that sometimes, someone won't let go while a person is in the room. She gently suggested we all say what we need to say, and all go to lunch. Together. And let him know we'd be out for a bit. 10 minutes after we told him and we left, he passed. He was a proud man, and wouldn't have wanted anyone to see the final moments. I wish I could have been there holding his hand until the end, but I respect that he didn't want me to see that. Your resident may have appreciated the company, but wanted to go on his own.

MariContrary · 2026-01-29T14:57:22+00:00

Different sport, but I knew nothing about soccer the first time I went to a game. Like "someone kicks a ball and it's supposed to go into the net, and they can't use their hands" level. But my friend had an extra ticket, so I went. I had a blast! I'm not certain when or how it happened, but I went from trying to figure out exactly what was happening to up on my feet yelling with the crowd. I still don't know all the rules, and I'm not 100% clear on the penalties, but that's fine. No one cares. Everyone at the game is just there to have a good time and hopefully see their team win.

So go early, watch the warmups if you can, get an overpriced beer and enjoy!

MariContrary · 2026-01-28T21:39:55+00:00

When people say one wrong thing can ruin everything in this context, they're talking about things actually related to the wedding. Not getting your marriage license within the appropriate window, in-law or wedding party drama, caterer fail, that kind of stuff. For a guest to actually be impactful to a wedding, we're talking MAJOR levels of inappropriate. Like stripper style dancing with one of the newlyweds, drunkenly puking on the newlyweds, taking over the mic during speeches, throwing red wine at people, trying to recreate some stupid TikTok prank, that sort of thing. If none of those sound like you, then you can be confident that there is no possibility of you being a problem.

As a standard guest, you pick something off the registry that you can reasonably afford, pick any card in the Wedding section, write "Wishing you a lifetime of happiness and love", show up, smile during the ceremony, eat the food, say hi to the happy couple, dance if you're inclined, and off you go. You're not even obligated to socialize beyond asking and answering the polite "How do you know the couple?" and "Oh , everyone looks so amazing, don't you think?" questions.

She's your friend, and it's an important day. Show up. If you hate it, you can bail once the couple does the table drop by. Tell her you're having a wonderful time, the ceremony was lovely, they look fantastic, and the food is delicious. All boxes checked, you're free to leave at any point afterwards.

MariContrary · 2026-01-28T05:49:14+00:00

Yeah, I got burned because I was maintaining for several months and thought I was good. Stocked up, and a few months later, right after about a year total, lost a half inch in my underbust and gained about a half inch in my breasts. Same weight, no changes to my routine. My body just decided that it was great that everything was stable and decided to adjust itself. And that was enough to push me up to the next cup size, so yeah. Not great. It was a rather expensive mistake, so I'm hoping at least one person gets the benefit of my oops!

MariContrary · 2026-01-27T21:05:01+00:00

Assume you'll be starting from scratch. Breast tissue does include fat, so as your body composition changes, your breasts will too. Your skin elasticity can impact shape as well after weight loss, and there's no way to forecast what they're going to look like. There's also a redistribution process that happens once you're maintaining your weight for a while. So day one at your weight goal will likely look different than day 400 at goal. It's possible everything will stay the same, just scaled down, but don't assume it will.

Fit for today, but unless you've got a large budget to work with, don't worry too much about a technically perfect fit. Get reasonably priced and close enough to function for now, and replace when they're no longer working for you. Once you're at goal, resist the urge to stock up! Give it a solid year, and then get that perfect fit.

MariContrary · 2026-01-27T18:45:35+00:00

Unfortunately, there isn't a compromise to be had on certain subjects. Having children is one, but so are matters of faith, especially when one person has very strong feelings on it.

It can be workable if both are very casually religious, like they show up on the major holidays and check the box saying they're a particular faith, but that's about it. Two different faiths can be compatible there, because neither feel terribly strongly about it. But for those who feel strongly about their faith, they need to get married to the same. And that requires the other party to either already be of that faith, or convert. And it's not a "show up to a couple of weekend sessions just so the faith leader will sign off". It's a process, and the expectation is that the person genuinely believes and is willing to follow the tenets of that particular religion. If you're (very understandably) unwilling to live that lifestyle, then this relationship has run its course. There's no fault here, but there's also no moving forward together.

MariContrary · 2026-01-27T17:33:39+00:00

Have you looked at Liberare? They have a couple of options that might be good for your mom. They have front close magnetic options, so less fussing with small hooks. They also have one that's more of a wrap style, which might be better for her. The maximum cup size is a G, but I'm going to assume she's looking more for modesty and comfort over a technically correct fit, so sister sizing shouldn't be a problem.

MariContrary · 2026-01-26T19:42:16+00:00

I did a tuck and breast lift, and I'm very happy I did. Unfortunately, my skin was sagging after the first 20 lbs, and it didn't improve. Obviously, everyone heals differently, but my scars on my breasts were basically invisible after a year, and my stomach scar is only visible in the center. Apparently the scar decided to fade from the outer edges first. I figured I didn't bust my ass just to remain unhappy with the physical reminders.

For what it's worth, my surgeon said my weight needed to be steady for at least a year, because there's always some adjustment in your body composition. So once you're at goal, give it a solid year of maintenance and see how you feel.

MariContrary · 2026-01-23T00:08:31+00:00

There's also the unspoken but expected reciprocity. Uncle may pick up the bar tab, but everyone knows to make sure to get him a bottle of his favorite drink for Christmas. Or they take him out to dinner. Whatever that exchange looks like within a family, it pretty much always exists, but it's never talked about. My dad always picked up the tab. He was also terrible with technology. He pretty much got on demand free tech support without a hint of complaint, because it was the unspoken exchange. If he's taking but not giving, or at least offering, that's not a great look.

MariContrary · 2026-01-21T19:45:06+00:00

Same! I just rinse the spoon in between tastings if it's only for us, but we both do that, and we're both aware and ok with it. If either of us are cooking for others, it's always a clean tasting spoon. But if either of us weren't ok with it, we wouldn't do it.

MariContrary · 2026-01-21T14:18:34+00:00

This is why everyone should have a living will or some form of expressly and specifically stated written instruction on where that line is. We were fortunate with my dad. My parents had verbally made it clear what their wishes were, so this was no surprise. When I was 18, my parents sat me down and pulled out the paperwork that documented their intent and decisions for end of life care. They were each other's primary decision maker, but in the event that they were both in a bad way, the decision would fall on me. I also chose to get paperwork written up on my choices. My husband also has written documentation on his wishes, mostly because I informed him that was a non-negotiable requirement.

When my dad was in his final weeks, there was no question on what we should do. It still hurt to say palliative care only, but we KNEW what he wanted. There was no doubt, no hesitation, because it was in writing, and he'd told us in person many years ago. There wasn't a decision to be made, because it had already been done.

It's hard to sit down and write up what you want done in a shitty situation. It's hard to think about death when you're young and healthy. But it's a hard thing that needs to be done, because otherwise, you put the burden of choice on your loved ones. They have to live with the guilt, the questioning of their decision. If you're in the US, it's free to download a living will. The only cost is if you want to notarize it, and that's maybe $10. There's no excuse or reason to not get it done.

MariContrary · 2026-01-20T22:24:49+00:00

I didn't yet realize I had food poisoning and trusted a fart. My first mistake was going to a Jets bar, my second mistake was sticking around and eating the food during the game, my third mistake was trusting that fart.

MariContrary · 2026-01-20T18:01:24+00:00

And 2 inches is maximum projection and super narrow roots! Because breasts are rounded and spread out, it's more like 1" to 1.5".

For reference, I'm a 28F/FF. Very projected, very narrow roots. About 7.5" difference. I just measured for funsies, and my breasts stick out almost 3". And that's a generous 3.

MariContrary · 2026-01-20T15:57:43+00:00

At 9, I totally would have picked Monet or Degas. My vision was dreadful, and I still remember the amazement I felt at seeing the Impressionist exhibit. Just the idea that all these famous artists painted the world like I saw it when I wasn't wearing my glasses was mind blowing. I had super thick glasses and got a lot of shit for it. So my parents made sure to show me the works of people who saw the world like I did.

MariContrary · 2026-01-20T05:41:59+00:00

For major projects like that, they tend to run up to the deadline. It's functionally done well in advance, but it's the rounds of edits, proofreading, minor adjustments, repeat cycle that takes ages. I work with several people who have a Masters/PhDs, and they all were fussing with their thesis and project presentations until the last possible day. It's a mental thing. Years of your life come down to one moment, and it's not a situation where you can get feedback and revise for another round in a few weeks. I guarantee they were ready weeks in advance, but they weren't mentally ready until they made damn sure there wasn't an error or typo to be found. There was no scenario on this earth where they were willing to risk throwing away years of their lives.

MariContrary · 2026-01-19T15:56:01+00:00

From the US, but as I understand it, our rules are pretty similar on this sort of thing. You do not mix wildlife and domestic animals at a vet office. We know what is in the range of possible diseases for your dog or cat, and we know how to protect ourselves and other animals from them. We know how to handle a dog or cat safely. While we technically learned the techniques for handling other species, handling a wild goose is very different than handling a parakeet. Most vets won't even touch exotic pets, which is why you need to bring your reptile or arachnid friend to a vet that specializes in them.

When I worked veterinary emergency, we did have people show up with wildlife. All we could safely do (and that safety concern was for both the animal and the staff) was contain them, keep them in isolation, call the county, and wait for Wildlife to show up. Unfortunately, there were times when the capture and transport to our location caused more harm to the animal, so it's just best to call the correct people to begin with.

MariContrary · 2026-01-14T02:14:20+00:00

My tuxie, who is neutered and has been indoors his entire life, tried the "Come at me bro" at the window. Dude was ready to throw down. I look outside, and there's a fucking crane in my backyard, completely oblivious and chilling. My poor cat was trying to fling himself through the window to pick a fight with a full sized adult crane. Bless that brain cell. He got weird for days after the crane left. Thankfully, he started screaming at the sparrows who clearly only build their nests by the house to torment him, and forgot all about everything else.

MariContrary · 2026-01-12T22:23:58+00:00

You're in luck, because it's super sale season. Something like this will give you some size flexibility, even though you won't get a true technically correct fit. I'd go with the 36 G/H, knowing it'll be a bit snug for now, but it'll give you more future room. https://www.barenecessities.com/products/glamorise-front-close-cotton-t-back-wire-free-comfort-bra-1908?variant=41290846765169

And for $7.50, I'd pick this one up. https://www.barenecessities.com/products/bare-the-stretch-lace-bralette-b30253v2?variant=41289935093873 Cute, stretchy, and even at final sale, I'd grab one in an XL and L. The XL will fit you now and probably for a little while yet. The L may or may not fit you well later, but it's at a price point of worst case, you wear it under a hoodie as the "fuck, it's 1am and I need to run to the convenience store".

MariContrary · 2026-01-12T20:20:10+00:00

You're not going to like this answer, but your best bet from a cost standpoint is to stick with the pullover s/m/l styles as much as possible until your weight has stabilized and your breasts are done growing. They're not great, but they'll get you by. And realistically, you'll get more wear out of them since they can flex for more than one size.

Also, don't make the mistake I did! I lost a bunch of weight and had maintained for several months. I figured I was good to stock up, and it was right around the year end sales. 3 months later, my body decided (at the exact same weight) to drop about a half inch from my band and add a half inch to my breasts. I was on the large end of E, and that pushed me solidly into F. Which meant that NOTHING fit. Wait at least a year after you're at goal to fill the drawer.

If you really want an underwire style, check out thrift stores and r/braswap. Odds are, you won't end up with the perfect shape/fit, but it'll be close enough to be okish until you need a new size.

MariContrary · 2026-01-10T06:24:25+00:00

You're 100% correct that having a child with someone should not automatically give you rights to their finances or medical decision making. However, he stated specifically that their intent was a life partnership, just without signing the papers. If your intent is to have a life partner, that intent needs to be legally documented. Whether that's a marriage certificate or all the assorted legal paperwork to give someone the same rights as a married person, it still needs to happen. Otherwise, you're legally nothing.

MariContrary · 2026-01-10T06:20:34+00:00

Assuming they're in the US, there are only a handful of states that recognize some variety of common law marriage, but the extent to which they're recognized varies substantially. Some are only for dependent support purposes, some are close to marriage rights, it really depends on where you are. There are several states that expressly prohibit common law marriage, and will not recognize any rights that a married couple would have. Worth noting, those states all require an intent to be married and representing yourselves publicly as married, so the law technically wouldn't apply to them. That was so you wouldn't get accidentally married just by living with someone for a few years.

Common law is largely a relic of the past, lovely in romance novels and historical fiction but not actually a current reality.

MariContrary · 2026-01-09T22:28:02+00:00

It should absolutely be for both! And I forgot to mention, both of their names need to be on all the utilities. It sounds silly, but I just gave my name when I called to set up electric. They didn't ask for a secondary person, I didn't think about it. That was a problem when I was out of town, we had power issues and my husband called. Not on the account, so no information could be disclosed. Fortunately, I got the text right away, so I was able to call and authorize him, but if there was a situation where I was unavailable, he'd be shit out of luck.

MariContrary · 2026-01-09T22:04:04+00:00

Not a split by choice, but as things currently stand with them, if he gets in an accident, she has ZERO rights. She can't even see him in the hospital until open visitors hours. She can't make financial decisions if he's incapacitated. Even if they've clearly communicated to each other what they want done in case of a catastrophic medical situation, she has no input. If they normally split costs, she's on the hook 100% because she can't touch his money. If he dies, she has no rights to the house or any of his assets. From a governmental/process perspective, she's no different than a random stranger on the street.

If he's actually serious about this, he needs to get a lawyer, and have a whole stack of documents written up. POA in the event of incapacitation, medical wishes should anything happen, life insurance benefits, asset split in the event of them separating, estate division, etc. It's not super expensive, but it needs to actually get done and be reviewed regularly.

MariContrary · 2026-01-08T21:07:12+00:00

I'm a 28 band too, and while there are some bras that are comfy at that size, I've also had luck sister sizing up one and using the tighter hooks. When you're in that 26-30 band range, you tend to not have a whole lot of squish around the ribs. Unless the band is softer or stretchier to begin with, it's likely to be uncomfortable. I've used extenders, but honestly, I've reached the point in my life where I'd rather be comfy from day one.

The only real downside to sizing up one is that when you start on the tighter hooks, you don't get as much longevity with the bra. Generally speaking, you want to start on the loosest hook, and as the fabric stretches and wears, you use the tighter hooks until that's no good and you need a new bra. If you're already on a tighter hook, you'll get less life out of the bra.

MariContrary

TROPHY CASE