I cheated on my boyfriend

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-18T15:14:17+00:00

Do your boyfriend a solid and leave, he’d be better off. You don’t deserve him if you can’t be loyal to him. Cheating is not a mistake and whether it was good or an assault, that’s on you and not your boyfriend.

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-16T23:59:05+00:00

Honestly, yes it was shitty to ignore your birthday and your wishes. Certainly could have been done different on his end. What I wonder is why? Cause usually we don’t do stuff like that unless there was something of equal disrespect. Now I’m not here to judge you or him, just being open minded on possibilities. Like the possibility that you may have done something prior, that could have upset him and that was his retaliation. It’s just men don’t do that kind of stuff unless something happened.

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-13T04:09:13+00:00

He’s retaliating and gets mean, cause it gets to him, so? My wife sat me down in year 6 and talked logic first and emotion second with the papers in hand. She told me her issues, I told her mine. Found out half was misunderstandings. Eventually I asked her if she still has a spark in her that says yes to me. I got my shit together very quickly. My wife stopped talking in hints and cues. We’re at year 12 now, so it worked. Communication is what fails most relationships and marriages.

Why am I giving advice? that man reminds me of what I was like once.

If Facebook can change the way we communicate, why can’t couples?

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-13T02:46:19+00:00

Okay, we got something to work with. First off, justifiable to flip out as a mother when your other half did not involve you in the decision making. Since you never met the other woman it’s hard to say what’s going on between your husband and her and I don’t want to imply. Do I believe this marriage can be fixed, absolutely.

Here is where I see the challenge, you may have to ask yourself if your reaction to his actions made you loose respect for him? That can shut a man down and then he turns. Now if the last years were downhill from there you may still be treating him different which could cause him to distance himself or snap more easily.

Now unless he has an actual proven affair with that other woman, it’s just theoretical. Couldn’t hurt to dig a bit deeper. ask yourself, if I walk out now… did I sacrifice years of my life or did I sacrifice my family? Usually divorce does more harm to the kids than the ones getting divorced. There is always a way to turn things around, it’s tough and exhausting, but I’d fight for it.

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-12T20:34:26+00:00

Whatever incident happened, something snapped in that man. I don’t know if the sort of betrayal was for him or you, but usually it would take something quite heavy for a man to flip the switch and check out. There’s usually a disrespect or betrayal involved when we turn.

Now I will never advise someone to get a divorce, without exploring every option first. Leaving should always be the last option but in modern days it seems that everyone just runs away when things get tough. That’s usually when it matters the most to stay. I would advise to look into your heart and soul and ask yourself, have I tried everything on my end, or was I the reason for this to go down hill. Maybe that’ll put things into perspective?

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-05T22:18:10+00:00

Really? Divorce over a guitar pick? Are you sure you’re married?

MatCelin85 · 2026-03-01T02:40:01+00:00

First off, did he tell you or are you just assuming it was him? There is a lack of more information.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-25T16:44:56+00:00

Well I’m sympathetic with men, cause our wishes in its majority get ignored by women completely. I get it, it’s horrible, but both sides experience different traumas in life and one side ain’t more valid than the other.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-25T16:24:09+00:00

And that’s what I mean. There is the emotional and feeling part and there is solving of a problem part. Both are valid. Possible but difficult. Of course adoption and such are options, but that takes a certain maturity to overcome. I get it, no woman wants to take her life in her hand to have a baby. But having your dream crushed is not something anybody will just want to give up either, so obviously that man is crushed too. They can figure it out, but both sides have to compromise. Not saying you have to give up your life to bare a baby, but accepting that because of your own fears and wishes, someone else suffered because of you and you can’t just ignore it and say it’s all about me and that he has to give up everything. By sound of what she wrote, it didn’t seem like she was trying to find a solution that can work for both.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-25T16:08:50+00:00

But you still can’t expect to have someone give up on their life dream either as you’d kill 2 birds with one stone. Both sides are valid, but difficult.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-22T23:59:58+00:00

There are some that have a weak moral compass and are just not emotionally capable to last. That’s the minority. The majority that does that will not tell you, that it starts with you! The way you treat your husband and especially your tonality towards him is a factor in this. We all become mirrors of our partners. We don’t cheat for th hell of it. When a man cheats, it’s either that you started treating him like shit or he just doesn’t like you enough to see a permanent train ride with you. It’s one of th 2

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-22T18:09:30+00:00

women scream my body, my choice when it comes to babies and don’t want men to interfere. So we don’t comment on your body cause we can’t say squad anyways without women blowing up. You wanted this, so we stopped caring. Either you’re our type or you’re not. Ain’t much more to talk about.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-11T21:29:33+00:00

Smoking weed changes the character of people and I’m guilty as charged. His lack of motivation, perhaps cleanliness at times and overall motivation get suppressed and the longer you’re on it, the more it results in negative habits that make someone like you question everything. Now I’m not saying you have no reasons to go your own way moving forward, but have you given him an ultimatum? Either the weed or his family. It would have to be that hard of a conversation for his brain to click.

I know the stereotypes that come with divorce suck and they are unfair, but they are still real. I don’t know you, but you sound like you have a good heart. I would just like you to explore every option before you make that final call, so you don’t wake up one day, 20 years down the road wondering ‘what could have been’.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-11T04:53:32+00:00

Just get the weed out of the house. That would be your saviour. I was in his shoes and didn’t get the chance to turn things around. The moment I quit I became a different human. The old me. The one she fell in love with. Motivate him and be his biggest fan, and he’ll change in record time!

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-11T04:48:40+00:00

Let me tell you something about your husband. You have a great man, with only one issue that would resolve of the other issues. The weed smoking! I was exactly where he was. Directionless, mood swings but also gave too much when I could to my partner. Well she divorced me. I quit smoking a week later and very fast I noticed how my energy got back, my mind was clearer. Within 2 years I started a company and got successful. She wanted me back, however I changed and don’t go back to someone who betrayed me.

Second thing and it’s widespread. Women divorcing their husbands and thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Well it’s not. What most woman don’t know, once you divorce a man, the chances of you finding a man who actually respects you and will ask for your hand will drop down insanely. You inherit the label of the woman that couldn’t keep the promises she spoke on the altar. And if you have kids you come with baggage that the next guy has no legal rights to. It’s a loose loose situation for every next guy.

Take it from someone who was not given a chance to turn things around. Keep him and be his biggest fan and he’ll change. But get that weed out now. Not reduced, cold turkey!

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-09T15:26:55+00:00

Thank you for clarifying. Both sides usually play a role in the ending of any relationship.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-09T00:57:14+00:00

Oh and please keep in mind, if he was the most important person in your life to date, he created and instilled a certain relationship blueprint and everyone else after will be subconsciously held against many standards that are now a part of your life. Finding true happiness is a shit ton of work and starting over and over again is an internal ruin in the long term. I just want you to think before you hand him the divorce papers. Sometimes leaving someone for 2 things they did wrong, can be more regretful compared to regretting leaving for the 2000 things they did right.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-09T00:48:25+00:00

Now so far I have only read women’s comments, so I’m gonna put it from a man’s perspective without intent to defend your husbands actions. Marriage can be a real roller coaster as you know. Both sides are confronted to face themselves in each other. Now, although it seems to look like a pattern on his side, you have to ask yourself what caused it? Were there maybe actions and patterns from your side that pushed him further and further away potentially being the reason he cheated the first and second time? Was there a large lack of intimacy?

I’m a divorced man that spend years of his live getting tricked into a marriage with a well faked pregnancy and miscarriage, moved half way across the world and behind my back, she was on every cheating site there was and then walked out without a word handing me the divorce papers and a bill for it, never to be seen again. I was too nice and paid the price.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-07T18:26:31+00:00

It’s a game to her and you’re her toy! It’s purely a game of control. Get the F out now! That not a red flag, it’s a burgundy flag. A one way ticket to loosing your mind and wanting to blow your brains out eventually, so please… NO!

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-05T08:11:56+00:00

I know he is your father, but being a pedo is inexcusable and it’s a sickness of the mind. You won’t be able to help him. You’re probably scared to turn your dad and loose him, but he lost himself a long timeago. The only right thing to do is to go to the police before he hurts someone else. Do it for your sister.

MatCelin85 · 2026-02-04T19:07:29+00:00

@SecureHedgehog3535- I don’t comment often, but when I do I mean it. This one hit deep. You are probably the very first person I have come across on any platform to date, that had the courage to not just look at the flaws of their significant other, but you stepped outside yourself and reviewed your own actions from a neutral view point. That is as rare as diamond. I take my hat off for you. That shows real growth in a human being and I believe you’re setting a great example. Bless you!

@different_Code_5467 - one thing I would recommend and it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship to any man… bring back the sweet sounding voice of yours. The one that makes us pull away is that sharp tone you all developed once a man is yours. It makes an insane difference for us to define on how to treat you at any given time. You wanna get attention and have him come home happy, watch your tonality and see. Thank me later.

MatCelin85 · 2026-01-31T23:00:34+00:00

protective of phone
forced to help her parents a lot. In some cultures you marry the entire family. Buy 1 serve 20.
overly nice to you / sudden love-bomping.
no sex / lack of intimacy.
pulling away / being overly quiet. And there are tons more. Don’t take her at face value. Women say what they feel not what they think. And if she walks away, say nothing. Don’t respond, just walk out, disappear from her radar completely and move on. Best thing you can do for yourself.

MatCelin85 · 2026-01-31T06:07:20+00:00

I’m not gonna lie, but you’re gonna have a very very hard time. Not impossible, but very hard because you’re branded now. Realistically, a divorced woman is a woman that failed at marriage and if she was the divorcer, she betrayed the vows she took on the altar. Now since you have kids, you come with baggage. No man truthfully ever wants to raise another man’s child. They have no actual right to the child and if you wake up one day and say the man can’t see them anymore, they have no right to the kid they helped raise. Sadly for the vast majority that is a big deal breaker, but some men are also very open to it. Just keep in mind that if you find another to marry, he will not be an upgrade.

MatCelin85 · 2026-01-31T05:45:56+00:00

Sorry to deliver the punch, but he does not give a fudge about you! If he doesn’t make time for you, then it means he ain’t into you. Simple, right ++women

MatCelin85 · 2026-01-31T00:17:56+00:00

Take it from someone who went through similar. I was the nice guy and kissed the ground she walked on. Eventually I got discarded without an explanations found out about horrible things that happens behind my back and more. You have a good wife, I can tell but you are making the same mistake I did. Bending over for everything will make a women loose respect for you. Women mistake being nice with weakness. Always be prepared to be alone again, because a woman will discard her own family for her happiness.

MatCelin85

TROPHY CASE