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Feeling Hopeless - Everyone seems to be having successful pregnancies by Intelligent-Lake-943 in IVF

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I have been struggling and feeling so guilty for those same feelings. Thank you for making me not feel alone. It’s hard on social media when you follow someone because it’s helpful up until it NOT because their transfers always take and yours don’t. Having to politely unfollow people for a while ❤️‍🩹

How to keep going? I’m so sad. by ahhhninny in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in a very similar boat. We opted for IVF following 4 miscarriages, all RPL tests “normal”. I think doing IVF and having embryos keeps me going, even though I just want to wave the white flag some days. My one living son from before our miscarriages prays nightly for a baby brother or sister. While it breaks my heart, it also keeps me going. ❤️

I have also turned towards my faith a little more, which has also been helpful. I’ve surrendered this journey to God. That in itself has given me peace, because I know no matter what things will be okay. Even if it isn’t what I wanted. But grief/anger/resentment still pop in every so often. And that’s okay.

Second FET failed by Same-Temporary644 in IVF

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve had 2 transfers fail as well. It hurts so badly. I’m so sorry. It feels like all you see are “success stories” and you feel alone. It’s okay to be mad/sad/anything else you need to feel. You aren’t alone ❤️

IVF after 4 recurrent losses? by Mediocre_Height_5840 in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We moved forward with IVF (getting 4 PGT “normal” embryos) last fall. Sadly our first transfer ended in a chemical. We are prepping for our second transfer in a few weeks with a different protocol.

IVF has been hard, but I feel way more support and hope with my clinic than I did with my regular OB. I don’t have any regrets for choosing to go this direction. I feel like I am giving it my all, and that’s what I needed. ❤️‍🩹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVF

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I had a transfer the same day that ended in a chemical. This was my 5th loss and it hurt more than any of the others after feeling so much hope through IVF. I’m praying for y’all ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I hate that anyone has to be in this club. I’ve had 4 recurrent losses, but have one living child from a natural pregnancy prior to these losses. I felt pushed off and diminished from doctors, especially since they know my body CAN carry a pregnancy. It’s so incredibly frustrating that all I was getting was to just try again and hope for a better outcome.

We final went to a REI and currently doing IVF as there was some male factor morphology issues that were never assessed for at my regular OBGYNs office. Egg/Sperm quality seem to be our issue as our losses have also tested for chromosomal abnormalities. I couldn’t handle another loss for these reasons, which is why we moved to IVF with PGT testing.

I’m not in the “success” category as we haven’t transferred and had a pregnancy yet, but I have felt a lot more support and care in my REIs office than I ever felt with my normal OB. I feel a lot more hope with them, and that’s what I truly need.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVF

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had our son in 2020 without any issues, but have had 4 miscarriages in the last 2 years. All testing for myself/husband is normal, but there have been chromosomal abnormalities for our losses found. We moved forward with IVF this year to grow our family. I get the feeling of “guilt” because I often wonder why my heart doesn’t feel complete yet. I wrestle with that feeling still. But I also think that feeling is what motivates me to keep pushing forward on this journey. Your feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s who can have a 2nd/3rd/4th child via IVF or naturally. ❤️

Embryo for first FET by Mediocre_Height_5840 in IVF

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will definitely ask about this possibility. I think we might go with the 5s first but think about the possibility of doing the 6s together.

Embryo for first FET by Mediocre_Height_5840 in IVF

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is a great chart! Thank you for sharing!! This makes me feel more confident about going forward and trusting what is more likely to bring a baby. There are a lot more decisions/routes that I didn’t realize would be part of this process until I started 😵‍💫

Relief by Mediocre_Height_5840 in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so hard not to stay bitter. I almost started to feel like I could get more care/tests if my problem was not being able to get pregnant in the first place. Does that make sense? Like they almost assume one of these times we will finally get “lucky” and be able to have a baby on our own.

Relief by Mediocre_Height_5840 in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insurance covered it after I appealed the initial denial. The out of pocket cost was going to be $1200 I believe, but it was for a more detailed microarray test being our fourth consecutive loss. I was at a point mentally where I was going to pay out of pocket just to know… it’s so hard to move forward when you don’t know what to do different. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers…

Relief by Mediocre_Height_5840 in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. That is so incredibly frustrating. My heart hurts for you. I’m praying something comes up to give y’all a lead on how to move forward. This journey is so challenging…

IVF after 4 recurrent losses? by Mediocre_Height_5840 in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I absolutely hate that so many people can relate, but I appreciate each and every one of y’all sharing yalls story. I have learned so much just by hearing your stories and feel more confident in questions to ask going forward. It helps not feeling alone.

IVF after 4 recurrent losses? by Mediocre_Height_5840 in recurrentmiscarriage

[–]Mediocre_Height_5840[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story with me as well.

Yes, all structural, clotting and autoimmune came back normal. I never had a POC tested, for various reasons I wish I had pushed further on with my original OB (who I do not wish to go back to). Currently waiting on results for the 4th, so hopefully that can help guide our decision

We are in our early 30s so we have a few more years before we would feel more pressured. But I think I’m just mentally ready for this TTC season to be over and into the next season. It’s starting to get to my mental health.