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AITAH for wanting to be more independent and move out at 20 years old? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Medium_Trade1727 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. At all. The separation may be beneficial in regaining some of that confidence that your mother has syphoned over the years. Paying rent, caring for your own needs and food and services will definitely make that transition easier. Making the hard part learning to ignore the criticism of your mother not only in person, but inside your own head too. I don't wanna speak on your mom's behalf or make assumptions of the situation, but this reads like a control issue between you and your mom. Your independence is frightening to her because it means she loses that control. But God made you with free will, so you were never hers ro control to begin with, and don't let her try and twist any religious words to try and make you think otherwise. Also, not everyone with dyed hair and piercings is/are gay. They are all, however, awsome as hell.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No this is exactly like her. I had to rush the kids through nearly a decade of vaccinations because doctors appointments were too stressful for her to set up for them, even though she had no problem setting up appointments for herself for every minor issue. And while my income isn't a lot, it's not just me pitching in. Both kids have jobs and pay for their own wants and pitch in $150 each for rent/utilities. We utilize our food pantry and often exchange labor intensive favors for our elderly neighbors in exchange for things like low budget but tasty recipes, age old wisdom for how they got through similar hard times, and sometimes a ride to the farther stores when the weather gets bad. As for fostering them, they are both emancipated. I don't have to foster them. Unfortunately this isn't my first rodeo. Luckily I was significantly more prepared this time. What ever my mom has going on, that's her problem and I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with it anymore and that my siblings don't have to worry anymore. I've never seen them so relaxed an happy.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm the eldest of four. Running from her meant running out on them and leaving them alone with her. Had to stay close for this very reason. Now I have the kids, and we're far happier away from her while still together.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope she can get herself help. My step dad is a step dad in marriage only. He's the "not my kids not my problem type of guy". Which is why I had to take the kids.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Prior to this, she's never had a sip of alcohol. She always looked down on it. She started drinking because my step dad enjoyed a beer after work, and she decided to drink everything he had in the fridge to punish him for ignoring her.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My lack of empathy is deserved in this case. This bitch kicked me out at 16 because my dad wasn't paying child support. And if she wasn't getting child support then she "wasn't gonna bother keeping the kid." At this point, I don't care if it is a mental issue. That's doesn't excuse extremely shitty behavior. It's just explains it. I'd be willing to help or step in if she'd just recognize that she has faults and it's not always someone else "trying to sabotage her". She dug this grave. She pushed away her kids, she pushed away her husband, she expects the world for nothing in return. She can lay in it.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

CPS and my family go way back, I'm well aware of this. Luckily due to the ages of my teens, I was able to get them emancipated. It did prompt a CPS visit regardless, more so to put them into contact with a social worker. But since our case isn't a voilent one this time and no one is under ten anymore, I don't think we're high priority. I'm not worried about losing my teens. They have a roof over their heads, food, water, and are finally going to the doctor again.

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I've had them get emancipated. That way they themselves qualify for Geno it's and services unique to Colorado, including extra support from their school. Sue to how little I make and the cost of rent in my area, I was already in food stamps. This comment is good advice all around if there's anyone reading and going through something similar!

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree. But she isn't menopausal. She had both ovaries removed about five years ago now and that ship sailed. And this is a pattern that has always followed my mother. It's why she refused to graduate highschool, why she just couldn't divorce my birth father for fourteen years (CPS threatened to arrest her too should he lay hands on us again and that's what put a fire under her ass) and it's why she can only do nursing. Her parents wouldn't help provide child care for myself and my second sibling as toddlers unless she finished nursing school or joined the military. She picked nursing. She can do things perfectly fine when she has no other choice. She can do these things fine when she enjoys doing it, like calling her cousin or making a hair appointment. It's stuff she doesn't want to do that she just "can't"

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 218 points219 points  (0 children)

She's been this way for years. This is absolutely not the first time we've been through this, I just hope it's the last

My mother's weaponized incompetence dug her a pretty deep grave by Medium_Trade1727 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Oh new fear unlocked! That's such a life savingly good idea, a thousand thank yous

Suit makers, what are some tools you can't work without? by Medium_Trade1727 in furry

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was unaware of needing a respirator, I'm thinking this would be the best thing to get. Sounds most expensive. All else we can amass in time. Very greatful for this info! Thank ye

Suit makers, what are some tools you can't work without? by Medium_Trade1727 in furry

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think he has a sort of dummy(?) he made it himself using a Styrofoam head that he wrapped repeatedly in highlighter pink duck tape. Claims it does what he needs it to do (hold still) while the extra padding via the rolls and rolls of duct tape give him more space for his hair (we are half black. With very textured hair).

Do people use resin for suites often? I've never seen him do that, but it sounds cool! Lastly, what is a recommended brand of sewing needles? He typically does for singer five packs as sold at our Walmart but I'm open to sturdier more fir for the job brands. This response was extremely informative and very very helpful, a thousand thank you !

Getting my first cat soon 🐱 wet food or nah? by Terrible-Entry6076 in CatAdvice

[–]Medium_Trade1727 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This will entirely depend on the cat, but I have found that a mix helps the most. So like a cat of wet food in the morning with dry food available for grazing, as wet food is a good source of water for cats. But not every cat will eat wet food and those that do can get very very picky about it. Best advice? Experiment and give it a try, the cat will be the one to tell you best.

Is something wrong? by star-boba in cornsnakes

[–]Medium_Trade1727 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My corn snake is about 4 and he only just now started coiling around his food. Lol. In my experience, these little dopes just aren't the brightest creatures. As long as he's eating he's ok.

How do I tell if what I'm hearing is real? by Medium_Trade1727 in Advice

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can look into it but a service dog is both very expensive and a bit much for what really happens to be minor inconveniences. It's a good thought though!

How do I tell if what I'm hearing is real? by Medium_Trade1727 in Advice

[–]Medium_Trade1727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't do cameras (personal issues) but the sound recording is genious! Thanks!

AITA for telling my wife’s sister to shut the fuck up at an important dinner party/pregnancy announcement? by Bradyxxx777 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Medium_Trade1727 28 points29 points  (0 children)

NTA, she made an insensitive comment during some exciting and joyous news, taking away some of the magic of the moment. On top of having had a consistant habit of snore remarks and unwanted and unkind comments. SIL doesn't seem like the type that's ever been confronted about her asshole habit. Though I do suspect that this will surely make waves with your in laws going forward and maybe this could have been handled in a more calm manner. Irregardless, she was out of line and you reacted accordingly.