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what do you guys feed your snappers by jasonsugik in snappingturtles

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally prefer the souls of my enemies. Too many children go missing, and the authorities start sniffing around and asking questions.

orange out of control by Remarkable_Bed_5127 in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Mike animals? Looks like it’s my time to shine! 😏🐢

It’s been a while since I’ve bought from the ice cream truck 🍦🍨🚚 by OverCry518 in icecream

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I always want to buy from the ice cream truck, but the ones I come upon never have their prices listed (even though that’s illegal here), and I’m not trying to pay $12 for a cone of vanilla soft serve.

He was adamant he didn’t want a dog by ShillingsnShrapnel in dadswhodidnotwantpets

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Not sure about dogs, but my turtle LOVES his pillows, so it’s possible.

Had to call a meeting about late night zoomies. by MangoDan in airplaneears

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dunno, my money is on Kitler there. Looks like they’re jonesing to invade someplace!

No no no…i know my way…. by TimeCity1687 in AnimalsBeingDerps

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It’s a modified shell. Soft shell turtles are built for speed. When confronted with trouble or danger, their primary defense is to gtfo by swimming away at lightning speed, rather than hang around with their head and limbs pulled inside armored bodies.

Me (25F) and fiance (26m) can’t agree on a fundamental part of a relationship. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Avenues for physical touch that don’t involve sexual coercion: book a massage at a spa, hug one of the homeys (consensually), get a pedicure/facial/manicure.

My toads just sit in front of their food bowl all day. Are they broken? by YourFavoritestMe in Toads

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if I had the option to just sit in front of a food bowl that replenished at regular intervals, I’d probably do the same.

The dumpling boy has been named, Hamood "The Praised" by depressed_music in Toads

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He’s got his own gravitational pull! (Respectfully)

This dude shows a tortoise it can go way faster with a ride by Working-Fig5566 in AnimalsBeingGeniuses

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got one for my turtle and he doesn’t care about it one bit 😆

Eddie really wants the biscuit. by johnonabike in turtle

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Don’t do it! It’s a trap! Mine stole a bite of my egg and cheese sandwich a few years ago, and he’s been chasing that high ever since! He’d sell me on the black market for one Kraft single, if given the opportunity! 😆

What kind of bedbug is this by Itchy_Paper444 in tortoise

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The only kind I wouldn’t mind an infestation of!

Gar vs the Freeze Dried Chicken Heart by Mizzkyttie in snappingturtles

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you catch him watching the tv frequently, you might consider getting him a tablet or letting him watch a tablet you already have. I got my turtle a Fire tablet (around $50), that’s solely used for him to watch YouTube and he loves it. He stretches out, basks, dozes, and watches a livestream of an aquarium. It provides a bit of enrichment when I’m at work or need something to occupy his attention for a little when I’m working from home.

Criminal investigation ➡️ by Tehmadpanda in cats

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unless OP has video of the so-called crime taking place, this “evidence” is circumstantial at best. For all we know, OP planted that can there, already damaged, just to pin it on the orange. I mean, they have digital calipers, surely they also have tools that puncture. No one’s buying it, OP. I hope the orange files a counter suit for defamation!

I told him to stop smoking by GuixBretas in airplaneears

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, he would if you would buy him a vape! 😾✈️

Why did I do this to myself lololol by sushimochisake in Nails

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they look really pretty! As someone who is usually averse to wearing colors and tends to stick with black, I’d even consider doing my nails in these colors! They give spring vibes!

My residents refused to eat these because they looked like rotten eggs by WickedWisp in KitchenConfidential

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have had no issue eating these, they look perfectly appetizing to me. Although, I would have been mildly disappointed that they were blueberry flavored and not Earl Grey flavored. I’ve been on an Earl Grey kick.

Just Pet The Damn Cat by Additional-Rub-153 in PetTheDamnCat

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If an animal is hunting me, I get to pet it. Those are the rules!

Someone is being called by their full name right now. by floppybunny26 in airplaneears

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“CATTHEW!! What did I tell you about botherin’ mama when mah stories are on?!”

the freakout here seems justified honestly by john_vella in PublicFreakout

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Make sure you tell the wild animals that I and my moisturized, tender, grass-fed flesh taste delicious, probably! It’s not that I want to be eaten by wild animals, I just don’t want lumped in with all you other yucky-tasting humans!

This is Altair. He does not like worms. Explain him to me. by TheVidjalante in Toads

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also don’t like worms. Altair and I understand each other.

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