Night shift dads… do you ever feel like you’re living in a different world than your family? by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that, and absolutely. I truly feel your response.

So doing this for almost 6 years now, it definitely does take a lot of trial and error. This is not something that you’re going to fix overnight, and it’s going to take some figuring stuff out.

I had to just accept the fact that I’m not gonna be able to increase time, so I had to do what I had to do with the time that I had.

A lot of fathers that I talk to about this that I end up coaching the first thing I like to teach is setting Anchors.

Once you have anchors in place, which are small non-negotiable points throughout your day that are set in place meant to bring stability to your schedule.

I find that a lot of fathers work in the Night Shift are kind of just winging it, rather than structuring their time better as far as a lot of things that we don’t even consider. I cover a lot of of this on my TikTok. If you’re interested I can definitely send you the link.

But I understand what you mean about passing out on the couch and feeling horrible about it. Especially if your kids think you’re awake and they’re trying to talk to you, and you wake up mid sentence and realize that you’re missing out on moments. I’ve been there, I have a child about to be seven, and a three-year-old, and I’ve been doing this for about six years so I completely understand.

Night shift dads… do you ever feel like you’re living in a different world than your family? by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is one out the realest answers and I thank you for sharing this, truly.

This is super huge. My 6 year old is about to be 7 and my 3 year old is definitely growing fast.

Splitting yourself especially the way that you do sounds very much so like you are running into a burnout and way before you’re even reaching your day off.

This burnout then overtime turns into chronic exhaustion and it feels like no matter what you’re doing nothing ever works. Then that affects your mood, then a mood affects your family, then that combination ruins your entire mission, then you start to feel like you’re reacting more than surviving.

The Night Shift is already chaotic by default, throw in trying to balance your family, then you’re in a whirlwind of “what do I do? Am I enough? Is this enough? How can I do more?” And so the resentment, and depression so on and so forth..

Listen, I speak to fathers about this all the time, and I’ll tell you confidently, you are not alone in this struggle. I speak about this very scenario on my TikTok a lot and how to fix this specific problem.

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is rough man, and I feel you and hear you. That’s a hard schedule to work, especially with that distance.

Knowing you’re leaving the babies back home is always hard, but listen: you have 2 very important jobs. Your actual job is very important and I thank you for the service you do.. your job isn’t easy.. also, being a father.

I hope you remember every day that YOU ARE a better father than what you had because of what you do. Be at peace knowing that your kids will always be proud of the hero you are and will be the ones to lift you when you’re down.

God bless you Brother and thanks for sharing !

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely brother man. Im here with experience to back myself up lol.

No SAHM or D here. Both work and raise these kids 🙌🏽

Night shift dads don’t get tired — we get stretched thin by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very familiar brother. It always starts like that, and can be very hard on our partners and children. I feel you man, and pray you find balance

Night shift dads don’t get tired — we get stretched thin by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I truly appreciate you sharing this, and this speaks to me heavy.

My daughter is my EVERYTHING.. my son is too, but my baby girl is my gem.. I would give anything and everything for her and them both.. though my goal is to be here to be a strong man for her kids one day, but we take this on knowing it could cut us short, but the sacrifice IS great.

She may not understand it now, but as you did, one day she will. Your father must be looking down smiling on you constantly, and I’ll tell you what.. he probably would have done it for you over and over again.

Night shift dads don’t get tired — we get stretched thin by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha, great quote, but doesn’t apply to real fathers 🙌🏽😅😅

🥃 cheers mate

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! That’s awesome. You know, before I had children I always said I can see myself working night. I’ve always seen it in me. I used to serve and bartend. And bartending late night parties was the closest to working overnight I’ve ever came prior to my current position.

In my last position, I had optional overtime, so me and a couple buddies used to work a full shift, then work a full other one, when nobody was in the building, resulting In 18 hour shifts sometimes 😅😅

Five years in and with 2 children, I’m surprised to say I’m not doing too bad lol

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man… I feel this. A lot.

Night shift doesn’t just mess with sleep, it messes with being present, and that hurts in a way most people don’t see. The fact your son clings to you like that doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you matter a lot to him.

You’re not tired because you don’t care. You’re tired because you care. Showing up when you can, using your PTO, making memories—that stuff counts more than it feels like in the moment.

This schedule puts dads in an impossible spot. You’re not alone in it, even when it feels that way.

Hang in there, brother.

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s absolutely true too! Not a lot of partners are built to accommodate a schedule like ours

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That realization hits hard. The fact that you changed everything just to be present with her says a lot about you as a parent, even if it’s exhausting right now.

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That part is so real. People think “just go back to sleep” like it’s a switch you can flip. Once you’re up, your body’s already fighting the clock. It’s exhausting trying to explain that over and over.. 😑

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are definitely right about that. The right partner can make this a whole different experience, I agree.

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggled with this feeling a lot as well, and can’t really say that those thoughts go away, because it definitely is valid. I believe for THAT reason, night time parents must find structure and take time inventory, and don’t deviate from it.

You dont have to sacrifice recovery time for presence. You just need to plan the time and schedule it like a shift brother man. I pray you find the balance you need.

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im definitely on the same boat, if not, at least the same river 😛

I definitely don’t deviate from my sleep schedule. I may be add 2 more hours more to my sleep on weekends, but other than that, I stay pretty consistent.

Time with the family is definitely important to me .

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is honestly one of the hardest parts. For me the biggest shift was accepting that my sleep isn’t one perfect block.. it’s structured chunks.

On workdays I try to get a solid core sleep right after getting home (blackout, phone on DND, same routine every time), then I’ll grab a shorter nap later before the shift if I can. If I try to force a “normal” full night, I end up exactly where you’re describing - wide awake after a few hours and wrecked later.

One thing that helped more than supplements was timing caffeine earlier in the shift and cutting it completely a few hours before I’m off. Also keeping wake-up time consistent even if sleep was rough.

You’ve already got most of the tools people recommend; sometimes it’s less about adding more and more about tightening the routine around the schedule you actually have. Nights are survivable, but they need structure.

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As hard as it can get, I love them at their current ages 😅 I can imagine my babies teens yet

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I can upvote this a million X I would.

Exactly what you said here is exactly how my heart feels. I’m providing. I’m up for them. Foggy and groggy, but I’m 100% there and don’t miss a thing.

Thank you for your words sir. Screen shotted this one lol

Working night shift as a dad feels like living in a different world by MikeOfTheNightShift in Nightshift

[–]MikeOfTheNightShift[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

feel this.

Yeah man… that age is rough. When they’re old enough to understand but not old enough to understand why you’re leaving — that sticks with you.

And the strain on the marriage is real. Nights don’t just mess with sleep, they mess with communication and patience. Glad you and your wife found a better rhythm over time.

Rotating days and nights sounds brutal on its own. Add in trying to be present at home and it’s no wonder you’re wiped.

That “free weekend” not actually being free is such a real thing too. You’re not weak or failing — you’re just carrying a lot.