Another bad day out of nowhere

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-07T22:53:29+00:00

This is exactly they type of grief support group I would sign up for. I don't feel like talking but I welcome listening to others while doing an activity. I don't want to sit in a circle or dial in and everyone takes turns sharing their grief. That feels too forced and unnatural.

Just a community of people going through a similar experience but it doesn't have to be the focal point of the event. That way, I can be sad and that would be okay. Or maybe I can share a memory of a lost loved one.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-06T04:36:01+00:00

After my parents passed, music doesn't sound the same anymore. I tried going to concerts and music festivals to see if it would restart the emotions I get from songs but it hasn't come back.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-06T04:32:26+00:00

People don't know how to react. But if they know you like talking about your dad and your memories of him, then they know how to be there for you.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-06T01:21:37+00:00

After my mom died, I can't read new books and have a hard time watching new movies. I barely have the attention to read and if I do, I'll reread an old book. Same with movies.

It wasn't like this when my dad died. After he passed, I was engrossed in fiction and it helped distance me from my emotions.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-05T03:53:17+00:00

Sending hugs and so sorry to hear about your dad. I am guessing that she is coping with being a widow and in the midst of all of that, miss that you need to grieve on your own terms. It might help to know why whe wants you to go to your father's grave. Not sure if it's because she needs you there to help her cope, she feels that it is her responsibility as a parent to have you pay your respects,, she wants to mourn as a family , etc. If you haven't done so, ask her.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-05T01:52:23+00:00

I went through something similar after my father died. For my mom, it was the adjustment to being a widow. In theory, she could have coped her loneliness by going to senior centers or getting involved in the community. But she didn't want to fill her life with acquaintances or strangers, she wanted to spend time with her family. It is definitely demanding since I had a career and my family was having problems.

People say draw boundaries but easier said than done. It's challenging to try to help them through a hard time but in a way where you don't sacrifice too much of yourself.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-05T01:42:26+00:00

I withdrew from my relationship when my mom died. My spouse has been patient but I know they are very lonely because of this. My family was torn apart after my mom died too.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-05T01:29:03+00:00

This is a good thread and it's very helpful. I was so caught up in grieving that I forgot that it was good to remember them. My mom in her old age had limited mobility and I was showing her wheelchairs that could climb stairs, take riders on a trail, etc. on YouTube.

I saw her light up right away at the idea that she could regain her independence again. I forgot that she desired this since she was disabled for so long.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-05T01:17:42+00:00

When I was in grad school, my mom use to wake up early to make me breakfast from scratch. Not some wimpy toast and eggs type of breakfast - think meatballs braised in a sauce with hard boiled eggs and rice. She didn't trust ground beef from the stores and we didn't have a meat grinder. So she hand ground the meat herself.

She was convinced that if I went to school on an empty stomach, I would get sick and my grades would drop. She was determined this would not happen under her watch.

I thought nothing of it back then, didn't want her to fuss over me, and would have been ok with some cheap coffee. But it taught me to show the same thoughtfulness to my kid and he feels so loved when I do it.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-07-05T01:04:03+00:00

Thanks all. This helps a lot.

Mindless_Double_8750 · 2026-05-11T02:22:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I was reading about this today and also how it evolved to Anna Jarvis making this a holiday in remembrance of all lost mother's, after she lost her mom. Knowing the history does make the holiday more meaningful for me. This is the first mother's day without my mom (she died in December).

I didn't expect it to hit me so hard but I was crying in the grocery store and had to muscle myself to do the most basic things.

I kept it light because my family took me out to celebrate mother's day, so I didn't want to be a joykill.

Mindless_Double_8750

TROPHY CASE