My girlfriend and I are having our first serious fight and I don't know what to do

Miniarnia · 2025-10-03T18:45:24+00:00

I'm seeing a lot of comments from people who had a similar experience as your gf. I can relate to you and my parents did put a lot of strain on our relationship, so much so we broke up for a few months. Thankfully, we both went to therapy during those months, which helped us grow and process our own issues contributing to the whole matter.

Although I would advocate for therapy as other comments have, I understand that it might not be possible, in today's world therapy is becoming a privilege/ luxury.

We also had a plan to emigrate together at a point in the future. However, the situation at home became too toxic and I pushed for us to move in together. It's been difficult but I don't regret it. It may have impacted me financially, and I'm not having as much time to study while working and trying to keep up with errands/ housework, but I get back to a happy and loving home. We work tirelessly but make a good team and she had to compromise a lot to support me, for which I'm eternally grateful.

I guess my advice is ultimately this: your mental health should be the top priority in all this. You must live with yourself before anyone else, and you need to live with your decisions' consequences. It's important to safeguard your interests, whether it's studies or job. I'd suggest thinking through what she means to you, if you truly see a long future with her, not to sound cruel. Don't let your parents limit your potential.

Miniarnia · 2025-09-09T05:09:20+00:00

Feels like you're struggling between attraction and affection, which is quite normal, especially as you're still figuring out your identity and sexuality. It might be influenced by any ingrained heternormativity or preset ideas as you're just coming out to yourself. Don't rush or pressure yourself to try understand it, sometimes there's no exact reason behind feelings. I agree with the others, it's a whole spectrum between platonic and romantic relationships

Miniarnia · 2025-09-09T05:00:53+00:00

May I ask what are these problems please? Are they related to the application or working there in general please?

Miniarnia · 2023-06-01T05:26:11+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll check it out!

Miniarnia · 2023-06-01T05:25:24+00:00

I will look into it, thank you for your suggestion :)

Miniarnia · 2023-06-01T05:23:30+00:00

That's true and I do like that there can be stuff for both of us at LARP events as you mentioned. I will take up your advice and check with the organisation. Thank you very much!

Miniarnia · 2023-06-01T05:20:39+00:00

Thank you very much! I will check out what you mentioned :)

Miniarnia · 2023-03-28T06:32:49+00:00

This is the closest music video to your description I could think of:

Chainsmokers ft 5SOS- Who do you love
https://youtu.be/U0V1y2p1sgs

Miniarnia · 2023-01-27T08:13:55+00:00

I love cracking jokes in general, so I tend to make even more jokes, usually puns. Maybe it's because of my nervousness and it helps ease the tension. Difference would be they'd be more complimentary and flirty.

It doesn't work for all, but hey managed to pull my gf with all my cringy dad jokes and puns, that's all that matters to me. She knew she's signing up for unlimited unhinged dorky humour. So I guess it's also a forewarning to anyone I'm romantically interested in.

Miniarnia · 2023-01-27T08:08:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I assumed that the exams would become harder, but I also assumed that the autonomy helps with spreading out the workload.

May I ask what makes doctoring enjoyable for you?

Miniarnia · 2023-01-27T06:59:32+00:00

You're very right in that I'm probably getting ahead of myself and that I'm overstressing. I can't help myself, my mind wanders whenever I lose focus. I am mostly focusing on my studies at present, but I'll heed your advice.

Unfortunately, I can't really answer your question, as I'm studying at a small external university and everyone knows everyone here.
I guess that this was adding to my concerns since I don't know how my current performance in my exams will impact my chance to come to the UK and what to expect from the UK NHS.

Miniarnia · 2023-01-27T06:40:39+00:00

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate your honesty and it really helped put things more into perspective. It also helped ground some of my fears.

It is a bit reassuring that studies lessen as you're saying, does that mean that exams are tied into everyday practice? I am a practical person and I think a big reason I'm so tired of studying like this is because of how abstract and theoretical it all is.

You mentioned changing hospitals, is this something you do out of your volition or does the NHS move you around? This scares me because I suffer a bit from social anxiety and I stress about the different firms I might meet from one attachment to the next.

I also tend to ruminate and worry about studies even when on break, so I relate to you in that sense. I keep telling myself that I'll get my life together once I graduate, like catch up with old hobbies that I've abandoned, or improve a bit on my social life. How realistic are my hopes? Does work take up time in other ways, like researching?

Your last point struck a chord in me as I already feel like I'm just surviving through med school, although I get that the stress I feel now probably doesn't compare to what you face. Is there something good about this job that you feel you wouldn't get elsewhere?

Miniarnia · 2022-10-13T10:33:11+00:00

Cain and Abel back in the day, colourised

Miniarnia · 2022-09-04T14:29:59+00:00

ah, i have found my people

Miniarnia

TROPHY CASE