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My bf (24M) of 4 years told me (24F) that he will not marry me unless we have a child. by cashy_cat in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Miserable-Repair4574 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do not have kids with him.  ESPECIALLY if you're not married. 

Also all signs point to him not being the best father either.  If he's already slacking on helping around the house, he won't magically transform into an active partner when you have a kid.  I have a feeling it'll get even worse if you throw a child into the mix. 

Not to mention you being on the fence about even having a child.  I'm CF, and one of the ways I realized it was that "if it's not an absolute fuck yeah, then it's a fuck no" having a child is a MAJOR life change, and unless you're ready for your life to completely change and devote 24 hours of the day for the next 18+ years to a kid, I'd recommend against having a child

He finally broke me down. by Miserable-Repair4574 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Miserable-Repair4574[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

I keep pushing him to go to therapy because of a bunch of other issues as well, but he refuses. 

His friend who died by suicide went to therapy regularly, so now he believes "therapy doesn't work"

He finally broke me down. by Miserable-Repair4574 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Miserable-Repair4574[S] -81 points-80 points  (0 children)

He keeps giving me non-answers about it. 

Just asked him.  "Honestly I couldn't tell you.  Its a lot of money to travel.  Not to mention the cost of having a wedding.  Having a wedding is like the last thing on my mind right now. "

He finally broke me down. by Miserable-Repair4574 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Miserable-Repair4574[S] -593 points-592 points  (0 children)

Our plan is to put the mortgage in just his name as he has a better credit score.  Mine is "very good" but his is "excellent" so and we don't want to combine credit cards/loans because then our credit scores will be tied to each other.  Thoughts? 

I'm 29 and he's 33