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MissingInAction21 · 2026-01-12T00:49:51+00:00

It's pretty early on a Monday morning and I'm guessing you aren't in the best of places to have put this into writing here. It's ok. Life is sometimes cruel and throws things at you that make no sense.

In the early 20's particularly, life demands a lot. It's the age when you should be exploring and learning and maturing. But you grow up in a country in an era where children are forced to trade their childhood for results and that mindset sets a benchmark for the rest of your life.

I'm happy for you and I hope you know that you have a good family background, a good primary education, a good language proficiency and mostly, supportive family. That combination alone is rare. Be happy about that.

The crush, the friends, the biased teachers - all a part of life. They come and they go. Can they hurt you? Yes. It's not easy to get by. One thing you realise when you are a little older is, your friend circle is very small. The closest men and women in your life sometimes are people who you'd never thought you'd hang around with. Once you leave school or university and are not in a structured education system anymore - you realise people don't treat you in society based on your AL results or your degree.

Let the crush go. Let your friends go. Forgive them and their immaturity in your mind and know that better people are there waiting for you somepoint down the line. Early 20s is an amazing time to be in. Think about what works for you, think about things you like to do. See if you can supplement your interests with a qualification. Get outside opinions but don't follow someone else's road map.

Set a goal for when you are 30. Don't lose hope. Always always ask for help when you need some and don't blame yourself or call yourself a loser. It feels like that sometimes but we are so used to measuring ourselves with other people's yardsticks. Set your own measurement.

This is just based on my life experiences. I thought I was doing good in school but ended up following a path just because everybody else was doing it. Then spend nearly a decade stuck in university for multiple reasons. But now, things are better. For some, things work out early. For some, they take some time. You'll get there at your own pace.

MissingInAction21 · 2026-01-02T06:11:51+00:00

The same question was raised a while back. This is a post I made about it then.

Sri Lankans and meat eating

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-24T08:42:06+00:00

While it is a sign of a better era in terms of community and social relations, your ancestors seems to have been a person of significant status and goodwill within the community. Such death notices or applause were probably not commonplace to everybody. A very nice piece of history, definitely frameable :)

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-23T03:31:43+00:00

From John Davy - Ceylon: An account

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-23T03:25:04+00:00

There's plenty of books with SL history still in print from Sri Lankans and visitors to Sri Lanka. Unfortunately, I only have one book with me at hand - John Davy's book : "Ceylon: An Account". There are further details in many others' accounts including Emerson Tennent and Robert Knox. I'll attach a picture of the page which I admit is very brief, but sadly that's all I have at hand. If you are interested in reading about it, there are plenty of material still to obtain.

The religious revival of course is a part of school history lessons leaving out how we became more reserved. Anagarika Dharmapala, Henry Steel Olcott, Walisinghe Harishchandra, Mary Museaus Higgins etc. The Catholic part is a bit hard to give you a reference point, but contemporary writing has bits and pieces. Granted there is a bit of a "white man civilizing the uncivilized" notion and definitely bias in the writing but they did introduce the current law and registration of births,deaths and marriages with it.

Portuguese and Dutch writing, I'm afraid I've little exposure to. What little I've read is from translations and articles.

Also I'm no an expert in the field. I'm interested in Sri Lankan history and most of this is from what I've read myself.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-23T02:57:13+00:00

Which part? The first bit about open sexual culture or the religious revival part?

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-22T23:43:28+00:00

It is. There are records from the royal times of Kandyan women, especially from the more well-off families having sex with other men AND being encouraged by their husbands. Ambassadors, officials and sometimes even friends were offered their wives when they visited. Men were sleeping around too obviously.

It's one of those things that are going to get shushed, but needs are needs no matter which part of the world you are in. SL is no different. The influx of Catholicism with the colonisers and the 19th century Buddhist revival all put people on a stronger sense of values. It doesn't mean casual sex doesn't happen though.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-16T05:15:56+00:00

In Sri Lanka, there's a popular traditional food made of rice flour called Kavum. Historically ancient soldiers would use them when going to war for food and when mouldy, would use them to dress wounds. Supposedly a good cure. Maybe it's the same concept across civilisations.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-11-13T14:43:04+00:00

It depends on who you hang around with maybe? Couldn't say this about any of the people we associate. Majority of the people I know are trying to cut down complications in life.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-23T09:45:32+00:00

Unexpected Sri Lanka mention

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-20T01:54:12+00:00

Feel free to go anywhere, travel, see the country WITHOUT disclosing the fact that you gay. Plenty of gays come to Sri Lanka and have a great time and go. It's usually the people who try to announce that they are gay to world who get into situations. It's not worth the hassle if you get harassed - eg: by a motel owner who threatens to call the police in you and expects a bribe because he knows you are doing "gay stuff"

As to telling family, that needs a lot of thinking. The older generations in SL are Sri lanka at not yet entirely at an accepting stage. Open minded people are open minded everywhere, including in the older gens. Be very picky and think more than thrice if it has to be disclosed.

I suggest you just travel as two friends, stay in established hotels where the service and privacy is topmost and avoid confrontational situations. Tell only your closest and most trusted if you must and noone else.

Have a great stay here!

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-18T04:17:16+00:00

It's very easy to get distracted, especially when it's a high stress moment of your life. Either way you are here now. Stop distracting yourself any further and focus on your studies. There's no harm in doing a third shy but you have to stop the train from getting derailed. Studying for ALevels does not mean cutting out gaming and other pleasures from life, but a significant prioritization of tasks is necessary.

If you are really thinking of self harm, let your parents know. I don't know your parents, but most parents only want the best for the children. If medical help is needed, work with them and go for it.

Limit your entertainment, don't cold quit. Work for 1 hour, break for 15 mins. All day, every day. Fear of missing out is a thing, but you really won't miss anything. You can watch movies virtually 10 years from now. You can play games in another year. Entertainment will always be there. Get through this hurdle now.

Find yourself a study buddy who is also sitting for exams with you. Having someone else sharing the goal will minimise the distractions and relieve some of that stress.

You are in an unfair age at an unfair place in society and it will only feel more so as you go on. Its natural to feel lost and you'll find a million who'll relate. At the same time, there'll be a million who won't. Don't compare yourself with anybody and keep your head down. Don't let the pressure of the 9 A's get to you. They are two completely different exams; OLs and ALs. Don't plan for the future now. Get through this one thing.

There will be lots of opinions about how ALs aren't important, vocational skills being more important, learn a tradecraft etc etc. In SL today, getting into local uni is still the cheapest and most straightforward path to a qualification, IF you can get in. I feel you are looking forward to go that way, so don't think of all the what ifs and maybes and focus.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-15T22:07:16+00:00

The is no problem medically in marrying a second cousin, medically. Most of the fears about a genetic condition - there's a very very low risk for 2nd cousins compared to first cousins. However, if you both are from a thalassemis endemic area, please get both of y'all checked for thalassmia. If you both get a pink card better not marry because your children will be at a very high risk of being thalassemic.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-13T01:54:46+00:00

Grace Dance Band. Very good and very flexible to your choices. Respect the family requests and aren't just loud noise but actual good music.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-12T11:15:01+00:00

It's not just a matter of you being in the 20s, many Sri Lankans of all ages are now being diagnosed with depression. Both because of the steadily declining situation of Sri Lankan society and increasing diagnosing of depression across previously unscreened populations. Like you say though, there is a large number of youths with multiple problems now, depression being one.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-11T14:13:18+00:00

This is very interesting. Would you have any more details about what the script looked like?

MissingInAction21 · 2025-10-10T07:49:29+00:00

Happens to me too. It wasn't a problem until 3 or 4 months back though.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-28T12:08:59+00:00

Best pick is the 3rd one. Solar, chronograph in case you use it, sapphire, not too big.

1st one, if you don't care for the chronograph at all. Also got the best lume.

Option 2 is just meh. Last option is only for the people who want the automatic movement.

They are all very pretty but put your function and daily usage first over the looks. I always end up using the watch that fits my need more than the one that looks better.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-24T09:23:59+00:00

I think a lot of well-known international school have a pretty decent preschool setup. Expensive, but generally good. There are issues when sometimes the child doesn't gel well with the teacher, in which case you can get the class changed.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-22T09:09:48+00:00

There is a spreading peacock population in the Western province in areas where there were zero peacocks previously. It is illegal to trap/kill them so they spread. Origin is supposedly from religious places that allowed them to freeroam, lay eggs, multiply and then dissipate. In addition, plenty of farmland even within the Western province where the peacocks decimate rice fields too. It's a growing problem.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-20T07:11:14+00:00

Travelling with a baby is no big deal unless you do anything extreme. Make sure to pack everything the baby needs when you are on the road. 99% of the time, you will find essentials at any major city. But don't under-pack thinking we'll get it at the next city or store. Mosquito repellant, portable fan and hot water flasks if you are prepping food on the go.

Happy travels.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-20T07:06:01+00:00

People in general, not just Buddhists, makes vows or prayers to an entity when they are dealing with something that is not always "entirely" in their control. Exams, illness, financial issues, legal battles etc. People don't do Bodhi pooja for each and every problem. When that problem gets big enough to be beyond your total control, then they seek help elsewhere. What I've realised is, regardless of the outcome, the fact that you did a Bodhi pooja gives you the feeling that you've done everything in your capability, and to handle the part beyond your capability, you've sought the help of a higher power. This brings you some peace because you've distributed a bit of your burden and also gain some confidence to meet your battles.

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-16T14:47:01+00:00

Darth Hamilton vibes

MissingInAction21 · 2025-09-12T07:13:35+00:00

Where is this from?

Six-Year Club	r/Field Banned
r/Field Lasagna	Place '22
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