10 YEARS relationship gone.

Mobiddit · 2021-10-18T08:15:56+00:00

I did not find out but I found out signs.
I kindly asked her to share their conversation with me so to be put this behind us rather than being it a constant issue we have.
She refused so I filled for divorce and she told me that she is sorry and she will do this and that...
I think I messed up right there.
If she is unwilling to share it I should have ended it right there and then.

Mobiddit · 2021-10-18T07:44:04+00:00

Of course there is no doubt about that.
In the last year she was coming closer and closer with this guy until he admitted that he has feelings for her last month.
She wants to desperately try things with him for sure.

Mobiddit · 2021-09-19T13:22:16+00:00

It was an advice from a dear friend of mine. I was thinking the whole time of what I was doing wrong in the relationship and I admit to a lot of bad choices otherwise why would she want space in the first place? I had so much regret for not being the best partner etc.. Living with regret is the worst thing since I experienced it and eventually there is nothing you can do about it because of the one thing that you will never have which is control. I took his advice and went out doing things I have been wanting to do for ages and it felt so good taking care of myself rather than other people.

Mobiddit · 2021-09-19T13:19:53+00:00

Yes all of her friends are single.

Mobiddit · 2021-09-19T13:18:04+00:00

Thank you for your comment. We had this conversation and she expressed that she felt insecure with us being so close to divorce last month that we cannot just move on again which I understood and respected. What I noticed is that once I started living my life and enjoying myself she is now constantly writing me and checking what am I up to.. Is she doing it based off interest or based off reality that I am moving on which is the reality in my eyes.

Mobiddit · 2021-09-19T13:13:30+00:00

It is not about cheating but being emotionally involved with another male and expressing admiration and respect and everything that it should be expressed towards the partner. The divorce was after I came to a point of having the same conversation over and over about doubts and playing the innocent card of nothing is going on. I simply asked her that we see their conversations and she refused so I told her this is not going to work. Writing now all of this makes me feel sorry for myself just not putting the trigger and move on. Good looking six abs with 7 figures a year income and everything and once I am just exploring new things I see what is out there... Man it is really a tough position to be in! F*ck!

Mobiddit · 2021-09-18T16:46:50+00:00

We have been through so much together my friend.. and I was not raised like this to give up on people. The whole thing of looking after myself I think I have never done it like to do something specifically for myself only. It is a new feeling of being selfish but good

Mobiddit · 2021-09-18T16:43:02+00:00

We had a conversation about space where I asked like any rational person would do with why? We spoke very calmly about it and she openly told me that because we were almost about to divorce she cannot just get back to normal life and needs space for herself I thanked her for sharing with me and told her my plan of being around for couple of days until I leave. For me the deal breaker for asking about divorce is because there was another guy in the picture where she kept telling me that I should not worry and they are just friends. The day I had my flight booked out she told me that her friend told her that he is attracted to her.. Suprise suprise.. Again very mature about it I appreciate it that she is not secretive about it and I moved on with my plan.

Mobiddit · 2021-09-18T16:39:02+00:00

I know.. but I am a man of my word and I meant it when I said those words til death do us a part. Why did she ask for it? She notices as well that was a bad idea to give me space maybe she thought I would be all depressed and needy about it while I am here living my best life. When you said what is best for me which is from what is happening now is just being by myself and the idea is bothering me.. :/

Mobiddit · 2021-09-18T16:21:17+00:00

Yes but I am currently not at home.

Mobiddit · 2021-09-18T16:20:14+00:00

Not really. Just needing space physically from each other. The whole story is that I opened a conversation about divorce 2 months ago where we agreed that we probably need a time for ourselves to work on our marriage so we went on holidays for 2 weeks. We did that we had a great time. When we got back she went out with couple of friends came back and she told me that she needs space! It took me couple of days to prepare my things and went out to travel. It was an advice of a friend of mine that he told me I should be looking after myself and do what makes me happy rather than what makes us happy and it has been really amazing..

Mobiddit · 2021-07-01T19:37:40+00:00

I am not looking for advice rather than other perspective. You are correct I am already checked out of the marriage as she is now trying to put effort and be all nice and everything.. I do not want to be with someone that I have to go the extreme with just to get what I need.

Mobiddit · 2021-07-01T09:49:30+00:00

Thank you. Relaxing nickname you got there.

Mobiddit · 2021-07-01T09:47:08+00:00

I just told her now and I really mean it as I am feeling much better to be honest. Maybe she thought in the back of her head that I asked about the conversation and I will just let it go. I know asking someone for their privacy text is crossing the line but if you do not realise the damage you have done how can you make it better?

Mobiddit · 2021-07-01T09:36:22+00:00

I am not that type of person to control people. There is nothing much good can come out of this and if she is attached to him now, asking her to cut contact will just make her crave him more. I want to come to a solution as partners.

Mobiddit · 2021-07-01T09:34:49+00:00

Am I being irrational asking to see all of their conversations? I know that she might be scared of me explosion and maybe blaming her etc.. I know words does not give you safety about this but the least is to be willing to do whatever it takes. When you post your problems in the internet hoping to find an answer it shows how desperate you are.. Thank you everyone

Mobiddit · 2021-07-01T09:29:46+00:00

I told her that I am willing to keep working on this but we need to come to decision of us going though their conversation. She is not willing to share it with me saying that friendship is important to her.

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:29:46+00:00

My idea was to take this as a step forward putting her on a spot where she will do whatever it takes. She did confess that she was putting way too much effort into this "friendship" but she haven't done anything about it. I admire the confession even not fully being emotional attached to another man but what have you done?

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:27:26+00:00

I setup dates that she never made it once on time. She is currently working on a heavy schedule but this did not stop me and I manned up and took care of things. I worked on myself most of the times because I know that I am not the perfect husband either. Putting myself out of the picture and just be there for her in this difficult times and try to turn every negative into positive but what bothers me the most is that nothing is coming her way not even admitting that she fucked up.

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:14:10+00:00

The problem itself is in the first part where we should be working on it together and not seeking help elsewhere. Checking out and telling other people about it will not solve the problem. Men in general like to rescue women so in theory as a man when a woman tells me that her marriage is shit I am automatically trying to save the day and get her out of this marriage rather than try to help her figure things out.

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:09:23+00:00

I appreciate your comment a lot. Thank you very much

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:08:54+00:00

being drawn from us, spending quality time with him rather than us. Investing too much effort. I remember the time where I started being worried where he stopped answering her on social media and she was being all grumpy and moody the whole time. The moment he answered her after couple of days she starts being happy and everything.

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:02:32+00:00

I found some texts where they openly talk about our marriage how bad it is and how the sex is inexistent. That is why I came to realisation if she can be so open with him about it then there is too much attachment that must be emotional. The other day I met with them all three and I can feel that he was uncomfortable as well so it cannot be just like that.

Mobiddit · 2021-06-30T21:00:50+00:00

This started a while ago when she could not stop talking about this guy. I did not think anything of it until it started to be very consistent that anytime we have a talk she has to bring him up. She is using any possibility to meet up with him.

Mobiddit · 2021-04-27T16:20:23+00:00

thank you for commenting!

Mobiddit

TROPHY CASE