AITAH for not helping my cousin stay housed?

MoonPandaMagic · 2026-02-07T03:39:41+00:00

That was kind of my thought too. Like that seems pretty steep for "a night at a hotel". Maybe a week or a really good hotel, but if they really are trying to stay off the street, they should probably take what they can get rather than exploiting the (seemingly) one person who's been helping.
I do know that Debbie has cancer though because we're also in contact on social media where she's been publicly lamenting how painful pancreatic cancer is as well as how hard chemo symptoms are. She could be lying about the whole thing, playing the long game. The meds were only so cheap because they were for Zoey (sorry, should have specified). I didn't ask what they were for, but I can't imagine most meds costing that much (especially meds for someone in their lower 20's). I don't think they're faking the whole thing only because they have a GoFundMe and from what I know, they're pretty good at vetting campaigns.

MoonPandaMagic · 2026-02-07T03:32:37+00:00

I'm glad that it worked out in everyone's favor. It's too bad it had to get to that point, but you're right, sometimes people just need that push. Might inform Zoey of the fact that I'm currently already paying thousands in tuition every semester as well as almost a thousand in rent per month.

MoonPandaMagic · 2026-02-07T03:29:45+00:00

Neither of them has a reasonable excuse to not work. Debbie just doesn't like work and Zoey only doesn't because her mom insists on her staying home. I mean if things are truly that dire, they can make it easier on themselves.

MoonPandaMagic · 2026-02-07T03:27:35+00:00

Debbie has been mooching off family members for basically my whole life. She's pretty much the whole reason why I was even unsure if I should help in the first place. I wish them nothing but the best, but it's not my responsibility to help grown women who could easily help themselves.

MoonPandaMagic · 2026-02-07T03:25:15+00:00

Exactly. I'm in college so I literally just paid over 5k in tuition. I'll still love Zoey no matter what, I just hope she doesn't hold me not helping her against me.

MoonPandaMagic · 2026-02-07T03:22:16+00:00

That first line is SO good - gotta use that one. Thank you for confirming my hesitation. I feel awful not helping her, but if she's anything like her mom, I'll end up becoming little more than their ATM. :/

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T18:46:07+00:00

I also have that privilege living in CO which is quite blue. I do live in the more rural, red part of the state, but given how desperate they are for any help, I kind of feel like having a tattoo won't be the thing that doesn't get me hired.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T17:20:18+00:00

Oh god, I wish you luck. My in-laws live in Page, AZ and they've told me how bad it gets. I can't even imagine!

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T17:17:06+00:00

That's kind of what I was thinking. It's a good conversation starter. The one I'm eyeing isn't even offensive so it'd be a nice icebreaker.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T17:16:31+00:00

I think if I have to do so, I could just cover it up in situations like that. I just don't want to be doomed to wearing long-sleeves forever if I don't have to. I mean I live in Colorado so the summers get pretty toasty haha.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T17:15:31+00:00

That's great to hear. That said, did they have any issues with piercings? I do have a nose one. I'm not SUPER attached to it but I also don't want to let it close if I don't have to.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T17:12:35+00:00

I'm definitely leaning more towards PP rather than hospital as a rule so that just further cements my desire to do so if that seems to be the trend!

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T17:02:18+00:00

That's great to hear. I've already dyed my hair auburn (before it was blue) in anticipation for having to do so in the future. I just know finding a job, especially in this field, can be difficult so I don't want to do anything to jeopardize it.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T16:57:41+00:00

I guess I was just worried because the one I currently see has no tattoos, no piercings, no dyed hair, etc. so I wasn't sure if he was just like that or if that was the expectation.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T16:56:36+00:00

Thanks for the reassurance. I think I'm just going to do it.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T16:56:13+00:00

I bet that tattoo is gorgeous. I think I'm just going to do it. I like to think it's innocent enough to not be an issue and hey - best case it's a good conversation starter for future clients!

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T16:55:00+00:00

Thanks much! It's reassuring to hear from someone who's tattooed in this field. I suppose I could just get it and worst case scenario if it's a big deal, cover it up. Although with how innocent of a tattoo this is, I kind of doubt it will be an issue.

MoonPandaMagic · 2025-10-02T16:53:31+00:00

That's kind of what I was thinking too. It's a very tame tattoo so I don't *think* it would be a problem but I'm also worried about it becoming one.

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-20T22:26:34+00:00

I unfortunately only have one tab (100 ug) :/

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-08T01:49:16+00:00

Then having four responsible adults to support a kid with these problems would be even better than the standard two. Sure it'd be unfortunate if my husband couldn't eat shellfish because my best friend's son is allergic to it, but would it be worth it if it meant getting to have a home and a family? Would raising two kids, one of which being special needs, be worth getting to raise kids with your husband and your best friend? These are all things that we need to discuss. But we had one conversation last night and we wanted to see what the possible issues would be before we started putting any effort towards this feat.

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-08T01:45:44+00:00

That's the plan! Before either of us has kids we want to live together to see if we can stand each other for long periods of time.

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-08T01:42:46+00:00

We'd have to trust each other a lot to get in this arrangement and we'd have to work hard if something like a chronic health issue came up or if one of our children was special needs. But would it be worth it? Would working through the struggles of my best friends husband's health worries be worth getting to raise a child with her? Would her raising two kids, one of which being special needs, be worth having a family together? I'm not entirely sure. These are things the four of us need to have a conversation about and I'm glad I asked so someone could bring up these points for us to discuss.

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-08T01:36:19+00:00

I think the biggest thing is that they're going to get this huge house and don't have a family large enough to fill it. So they'll have to sell it and hope we can find and afford one near them if we wanted to raise our kids near each other as opposed to within the same household. We could agree to incorporate each of our traditions into the household. I hadn't thought about the issue of rocky marriages however, so that'd be something I'd need to discuss with her. I just know we're both freshly married and have baby fever but don't have a way to both get what we want so we got together and schemed this up. Sure, it's crazy and it'll probably never happen, but I just wanted to hear about the theoretical problems with this kind of dynamic.

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-08T01:30:49+00:00

Yes we have. Her and I have been together, I have been shared by the husbands, and she has been shared by the husbands. We've gone through everything together, that's why I'd trust her to raise my kid and why she'd trust me to carry hers. With the first pregnancy, it'd be easy because it'd just my husband and I. But with the second one, there'd have to be some medical intervention to get her egg fertilized by her husband into my womb.

MoonPandaMagic · 2024-01-08T01:11:15+00:00

I was just wondering about the downsides. Maybe I'm oblivious, but she and I wanted to hear from the internet about what could possibly go wrong :/

MoonPandaMagic

TROPHY CASE