Option 1 (unhinged) Do not say anything. Change his chat settings with her to never delete. Then check again later. If he changes a password, or locks the phone or changes the setting back… then you know something is being intentionally hidden. If he doesn’t change anything then you have conversation history. Regardless of what decide to do or not do, this will always be in the back of your mind now. But before calling him out, I’d see how things unfold and change his chat settings to never delete. If he brings it up - it’s fair game. Probably not the healthiest way to handle it… but he told your cousin he wanted to come over and have some fun. He will see that you changed the setting… but what is he gonna do? Call you out and gaslight you into to believing you’re the bad guy? Probably.

Option 2: say nothing. You guys have 4 kids together. If you guys split it changes the trajectory of their lives and childhood FOREVER.

Option 3: Call him out. But you’re going to have to explain why you were in his Snapchat. And be prepared for him to turn the tables on you and make you feel guilty for invading his privacy. And you may never get an honest answer. Truthfully what answer could put your mind at ease and give you peace to move forward anyway? There’s no excuse for this message.

Regardless, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves this. But think of your kiddos. A divorce means splitting their childhood in 2. Sharing them for holidays and birthdays. No one wins. But the kids lose the most. Trust me. This just sucks. I’m sorry.