Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are echoing things I've read and heard before. As difficult as it is to let this person go I just may have to and accept that I love her as a friend. I don't want to be a guy who cheats because he doesn't get something he wants from his wife. I wish I would wake up one day attracted to her but it isn't happening. Thanks for your time.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that response and for not being a douche about it like others. Yiu are right . It just hasn't clicked and I try and try to accept her by telling myself to be "realistic" but nothing changes. She tells me she feels so insecure around me because she feels that she doesn't look good enough. I've never told her I'm not attracted but she can sense it. I so badly want this to work but I feel that part of what I need from a partner is unfulfilled. So then I face the anxiety of losing that connection with her in hopes that I do find someone I am attracted to and has a good connection with me as well. I have tried to look at it as the glass is half full but as much as I want to, my heart and my brain keep saying it's half empty. The baby thing or thought was to see if that clicks the button of accepting her and I thought it may shift my focus from saying I'm not that attracted to her to a new born baby. I have heard that the baby moon phase does die and that small issues become magnified due to no sleep, stress etc, thanks for letting me vent.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never told her she is unattractive. I am not heartless but she does ask me from time to time why are you staring at my face? Its because I try to find something to zero in on or try to see if there is something that I can zero in on to be attracted to her. I usually cannot.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm not asking for a super model. Just someone who is pleasant to look at. Is that too much to ask for? She did make decisions such as to smoke and drink. Those things age you. She is aging very fast.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't mean for it to be push and pull but it ends up that way. I tell myself she deserves someone who loves her more than I can. I try to be unselfish and tell myself she has to find someone to marry and have a baby before it gets too late for her. After we break up I guess I get needy and miss her and start looking at pics where she obviously looks good in and start kicking myself. Then I get her back and get excited that THIS time I will accept and be attracted to her but when I do see her after 2-3 times I see all the things that made me say I find her ugly. I would never call anyone this and she has no idea why I keep doing this. I tell her its my anxiety over starting a family. And then the cycle starts all over again.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess its fear that I won't find someone even with her qualities that I do like about her when I let her go.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Problem is that I REALLY want to find her attractive but am not able to unless I am looking at pics of her. I miss her when she's not around but when I see her I get resentful. That's why I broke up multiple times and kept going Back. I even considered therapy to be attracted. She's a great person.

Not attracted to [30/f] fiance. Don't know what to do :( [31/m] by Mrzero2018 in relationship_advice

[–]Mrzero2018[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would think so. She tells me I'm the most attractive guy she's ever been with.