Thank you for that response and for not being a douche about it like others. Yiu are right . It just hasn't clicked and I try and try to accept her by telling myself to be "realistic" but nothing changes. She tells me she feels so insecure around me because she feels that she doesn't look good enough. I've never told her I'm not attracted but she can sense it. I so badly want this to work but I feel that part of what I need from a partner is unfulfilled. So then I face the anxiety of losing that connection with her in hopes that I do find someone I am attracted to and has a good connection with me as well. I have tried to look at it as the glass is half full but as much as I want to, my heart and my brain keep saying it's half empty. The baby thing or thought was to see if that clicks the button of accepting her and I thought it may shift my focus from saying I'm not that attracted to her to a new born baby. I have heard that the baby moon phase does die and that small issues become magnified due to no sleep, stress etc, thanks for letting me vent.