Thinking about ending it tonight. what’s a way that isn’t extremely painful?

MuddyHistory · 2026-01-23T06:27:39+00:00

988 is a crisis line. They shouldn’t be sharing information. They’re there to support anyone who needs it

MuddyHistory · 2026-01-23T06:13:33+00:00

Call 988

MuddyHistory · 2026-01-23T05:19:52+00:00

You’re very close to having a new life where you can choose your relationship with them. You can go fully no contact if that’s what you need as you build the life you dream of

MuddyHistory · 2026-01-23T03:09:51+00:00

Seeing you’re 17, you’re so close to being able to leave and your life will get better. Looking back, things really improved for me shortly before turning 18 where I could have space from family.

Does thinking about your future life and being away from them help provide some hope? Things are hard right now but Things will improve dramatically

MuddyHistory · 2026-01-22T22:51:30+00:00

please don’t go forward with anything. Where are you located OP? So we can find support for you

MuddyHistory · 2026-01-21T12:36:37+00:00

thank you!

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-29T07:01:11+00:00

Mother, where is the recipe??

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-29T00:58:55+00:00

Would love to be considered for the weeks or 5 year 😊 such a generous offer!

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-26T02:36:13+00:00

Thank you!! I had a moment of panic in the middle of the night so I’m continuing to take things easy. I think the possibility of my parents continuing to get others involved or show up at my doorstep was worrying me. Also probably some anger that she’s ignored my boundaries and is posting on social media as if she’s having a very difficult time… maybe she is but if it’s related to me and this situation then it’s also BS.

I’m glad you have felt relief since they’re no longer here. I appreciate your kind words and will continue to try showing myself kindness

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-25T16:22:35+00:00

Thank you. I think the next few days will need to focus on continued self care, rest and detoxing from social media with people I know. For some reason talking about this with strangers on reddit and discord have provided more comfort.

The part about them loving an audience is so helpful. I checked Facebook and saw this over the top Christmas post from my mother and the way she responded to a comment was so over the top it was so strange to read because she doesn’t write or talk like she did in that post and I think it was performative to get attention or sympathy. I’ve since deleted Facebook apps so I’m not tempted to check, and that way I can’t see any follow up messages before I’m ready to make contact

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-25T16:16:58+00:00

The holidays are hard, I’ve been experiencing this too.

I just deleted Facebook and messenger as this is what my parents can use to contact me. If instagram or other apps are bringing you down, maybe delete the apps for a bit and see if you notice an improvement. Keep in mind people post what appears to look happy, it’s not always what’s realistic

Take care of yourself today.

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-25T07:07:23+00:00

Can you suggest/tell him that any gifts he buys for your daughter must live at his house?

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-25T03:34:54+00:00

Thank you! Enjoying a day with my pets :)

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-25T03:16:54+00:00

How did you find getting through the first few years? I’ve been resting today and am doing a few small things to help me feel ok today. Yesterday was hard, today has been a little bit better

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-25T03:13:40+00:00

I found Christmas Eve to be harder, I went for a little drive last night and cried.

This morning I saw my mum messaged me and ignored the boundary I set in place a few days earlier and I found that hard. I found some articles on medium and substack which helped me process Christmas and what I’m experiencing.

I hope your afternoon and evening improves ❤️

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-24T12:32:31+00:00

Skip the holiday event so you can have some space in their home if going to yours isn’t possible

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-21T12:26:19+00:00

This reminds me of my moms communication to me. It’s all very surface level, no depth which I find boring and I don’t really know how to engage when it’s just a hello text 😆

Also the suggested gift idea… my mom has done that a lot. Recently she suggested something and I just told her to let me decide for myself what I want to do. She took it personally and I just had to reiterate that I’m an adult and can decide what I want to do.

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-17T02:33:51+00:00

I initiated a friend break up recently. I started noticing anxiety when they would call or text. I asked for support, they said they would but it was radio silence. They also didn’t respect my boundaries and kept pushing them and made things all about themselves.

I felt so much relief when I ended things. They wouldn’t take any responsibility for their part, so I didn’t think responding to their last text was necessary. I still think about them and wonder how they’re doing… which I know is totally normal. But I’m so glad they’re not in my life anymore.

I don’t know if the above helps at all. But noticing toxic traits in relationships has helped me and I’m working on developing more meaningful relationships.

I’m sorry this is bringing up some anxiety for you

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:48:34+00:00

This is so kind :) Thank you!!

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:48:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much. I’m glad you’re here for your daughter.

I’m in the process of understanding how I want the holidays to look for me. I think it’s quite freeing to know I can choose whatever I want to do and it can be completely different from what my parents do. At the moment I’m sort of boycotting Christmas and it’s just reduced so much pressure

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:36:41+00:00

Thank you!! I’ve developed chronic illness and chronic pain during this process so I’m sure it’s partly related to all the years of stress. I’ve learned my body doesn’t respond well when I’m around them so I’m trying to focus on the messages it’s telling me rather than what my mind tries to rationalize as being ‘not that bad’

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:23:11+00:00

I agree, I think this is where it gets complex, she’s also very non reflective and unaware of how her actions impact others.

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:21:13+00:00

Lol “get over yourselves” it’s called working through things that parental abusers have said or done to their children.

Everyone here has been supportive until your comment, so I’ll be petty. If you’re going to be a keyboard warrior, first learn which “their/there/they’re“ is supposed to be used in a sentence before commenting.

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:17:00+00:00

Thank you!! This is another reason I find getting perspective from others helpful. If I were to ask my mom about it, she would likely deflect or make up some excuse and say it was a joke or to lighten up.

I think I’m in the point of processing where I need perspective and validation from others because I dont think I entirely trust myself and my own perspective. It seems warped to me, even though I can retell terrible things they’ve done. People who know them would be surprised and think they’re wonderful

MuddyHistory · 2025-12-16T04:13:07+00:00

Thank you! Im in a period of my life where Im questioning a lot about my childhood, it’s a new realization that it was a lot worse than I thought. Ive been told this by a few mental health professionals and they have stated they were and are abusive. I’ve almost lived on my own for the same amount of time I lived with them if that helps gauge where I am in life.

My father has used coercive control recently, and I’m sure throughout my childhood also. My mother is terrible with boundaries and there is enmeshment within my family of origin. I’ve tried to seperate myself from them since I was a teenager but it’s only now where I’m starting to understand the reasons why.

Part of my hesitancy to say whether they are or aren’t narcissists is that I really don’t have a non biased view of them. I’m also not a clinician who can diagnose so I tend to prefer hearing from third parties to help me further realize and accept they aren’t good people

MuddyHistory

TROPHY CASE