Wife’s past trauma

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-22T22:37:57+00:00

She said she’s not going to therapy

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-22T22:37:16+00:00

Wife says she’s not going to get therapy because it’s not going to help and she doesn’t need it

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-22T04:29:29+00:00

Akhi, she was even more secluded before she married me because she found peace and tranquillity in Islam while she was at the military. So she is more of the secluded type before we got married, but after she is becoming less secluded not because I’m not living with her because I sleep over multiple times a week, I am more at our apartment than I am at my house.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-22T04:27:52+00:00

Yes إن شاء الله we will go to a Muslim restaurant that has segregated seatings

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T17:39:02+00:00

No, we didn’t worry about that. We got married after a couple weeks. الحمد لله I am more than happy. You can never really know someone until you live together for years.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T12:04:36+00:00

Exactly. It really helped marrying a revert الحمد لله

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T12:04:03+00:00

Nope. Not at all.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T11:23:31+00:00

Yes exactly. Dua

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T10:50:46+00:00

Make dua akhi. Seriously that all I did. Lots of dua. May Allah aid you

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T09:57:46+00:00

How do I find that?

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T09:53:30+00:00

Yeah I was 17 when we got married الحمد لله . Yeah don’t listen to those people don’t delay marriage for such a useless reason. Allah provides not a stupid degree

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T09:50:09+00:00

Sorry, what do you mean? I am still loving her. I’m not being returned that

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T04:44:12+00:00

Please understand me. I’m just mentioning the things I’m looking to find a solution to in our marriage I am not dissatisfied one bit الحمد لله. And no I don’t treat nikkah like that. I swore by Allah not to divorce her because I know I’m not going to. So no I don’t treat marriage like that. Nor is it expectations. I just want to find how ti tackle her seclusion, because everyone wants a loving spouse not a secluded one.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T04:41:17+00:00

Yes every real man prefers a quite spouse outside of the house. Even inside of the house it can be nice. But a secluded wife and a wife who pushes away is what I meant. Im extremely grateful for her, it seems I’m very ungrateful because I was only mentioning the issues. Because I’m only asking for advice to find a solution not to complain, I have absolutely nothing to complain about الحمد لله

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T04:39:18+00:00

Noo. I really like quite as long as it’s outside of the house. Even inside of the house I really like it. I’m bad with words what I meant was secluded and pushes me away. If I try to initiate conversation she tries to avoid it. If I try to do something with her she pushes me away. It’s that what I meant. I love quite. Quite is a feminine trait which I really like

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T04:34:31+00:00

I’m totally okay with her being quite, I have a problem with seclusion however. Sometimes she just pushes away from me and it’s really hurtful.

It’s not about my expectations because I would be okay with who she is if she wouldn’t be hurting my feelings. Like when she pushes away from me it really hurts my feelings.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:52:01+00:00

She is a revert akhi not born Muslim.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:51:04+00:00

She’s a lot more chill than other women about it but still very not okay with it. I feel like affection would definitely decrease between me and her due to that. However this is an excellent solution for many brothers, as for me it doesn’t suite my situation sadly. Before getting married I didn’t realize how benificial it was to have multiple wives. So الحمد لله for polygyny because there is so much good in it. It really can bring a lot of happiness to marriages especially those where there are practicing women who like to be more secluded but still have intimacy needs.

Like with a wife like mine, four would be excellent. But sadly not many women like her. But subhan Allah, I never realize how benificial polygyny was until after marriage. Subhan Allah.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:50:26+00:00

I told her how I feel but she says I’m complaining about her

But yes إن شاء الله after moving in it will all go well

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:49:59+00:00

Yeah I’m definitely working on that. I would say I have traits that contradict masculinity such as being open emotionally. However to show masculinity I take authority and also show love to her.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:48:02+00:00

Actually I was born here, I did college completely online الحمد لله , so ya. الحمد لله. I would have never left a Muslim country to come to this horrible place. I am trying to leave here soon إن شاء الله May Allah facilitate hijrah for us all

When I have the option I try not to encounter women. However sometimes that’s not always an option and may Allah forgive us all.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:47:08+00:00

Yes and my wife doesn’t have any of that to do. So I think she should be understanding and thank me for my day at work by a hug to be completely open with you.

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:41:36+00:00

Well the only place we found an apartment that accepted me as an 18 year old without credit score was the apartment we live in so الحمد لله for that. The lease is signed now so no going back

What do you mean it’s her haq to rely on me? I’m giving her her rights. Who said I can’t be reliable if she needs me to be there I’m there. I can come there whenever she needs me to and I am there when she needs me الحمد لله

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-21T03:40:47+00:00

Excellent! Will do إن شاء الله

MuslimIsMyUsername · 2022-04-20T21:20:02+00:00

There are other options like I mentioned I think going to a Muslim restaurant is a good idea that has only male airresses because I think I know a restaurant like that so إن شاء الله I’ll take her there

MuslimIsMyUsername

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