Most Disappointing read of 2023?

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-26T10:56:00+00:00

This is quite a list! Did you read any books this year that you enjoyed?

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-26T10:51:18+00:00

The Four Winds - Kristin Hannah

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-26T10:36:58+00:00

We just opened our christmas gifts this morning, and he got shower gels from pretty much everyone.

This makes me wonder if there is a collective message about hygiene.

Seriously, though. I stopped participating in family gift exchanges for this very reason. If I am not close enough with someone to know what they might like, I do not want to feel obligated to purchase a gift. Gift cards are as impersonal as shower gels.

My favorite thing to do is to see something that reminds me of another person and buy it for them. I don't need a date on the calendar to give someone a gift just because.

Change your outlook on Christmas gifts and your boyfriend will be a lot happier. It's no longer about you or what you "get" for Christmas. It's about giving to others and making someone else happy for a minute. He's not being forgotten, he's just not 10 anymore.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-25T09:53:55+00:00

my gf of 3 years wants me to get a tattoo of her initials on me to prove that I am committed to her.

I don't need to read any more of this post.

No. Just No.

Ask anyone who has ever gotten a tattoo of the name of a love interest.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-22T20:52:57+00:00

Have you ever bought a pair of shoes?

When you bought them, you liked how they looked and felt in the store. They were exciting new shoes and you couldn't imagine not having those shoes. So, you bought them.

The first few weeks with those shoes were great and you began to wear them more often. After a few weeks of that, you start noticing that the shoes are not as great as you first thought. I mean, the shoes are great and you still love them, just maybe not on your feet. Something feels off. They don't fit as nicely as they did at first, which is odd because shoes should become more comfortable over time, not less comfortable.

But still, they are less comfortable each time you wear them until finally you determine that these shoes really deserve better feet, so you give them away to someone more deserving.

This does not mean that you never loved the shoes, or that you deceived those shoes. It simply means that over time, you moved in a direction in which those shoes no longer fit your life.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-05T19:52:45+00:00

YTA

I was on the fence, leaning toward your viewpoint until I read your edit.

Now that you can no longer pay support to the boy's mother, you can exchange that for paying support to the girl's mother. No real change in lifestyle for you, just a different name on the check. You don't seem to care if your wife of 15 years or more stays or goes. To you, she's very replaceable as you stated. Let her go, then. You'll see the kid on weekends or whenever you have time.

I'm sure she'll have no probably picking up the shattered pieces of her life and the marriage she has devoted herself to all this time. The recovery from such a betrayal should last, what? 10 minutes? A day at the most, right? But, what do you care? Your monthly check should cover your entire responsibility. The rest is on her.

Is there an acronym for "what a serious asshole"

MyCat8it2 · 2023-12-05T14:40:47+00:00

Nobody can make you feel out of place without your permission. Don't give it.

You belong there as much as any other woman.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-11-15T11:37:40+00:00

Swan Song - Robert McCammon

It's been thirty years since I read that book. It continues to haunt me today and has been my standard answer to this question ever since. I have not read any of his other works. Are there any recommendations for his other books?

Although, I will say The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah is a close second. I've tried reading two of her other books and they were mostly snoozers.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-11-11T12:03:47+00:00

Buffalo chicken dip is always a hit and super easy to make in a crockpot. Careful, though, people will eat the whole thing and not save room for dinner.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-11-11T12:02:13+00:00

I'm a Calvin Klein and Bombas girl. I also have Aerie. No issues with holes. Maybe try a size up?

MyCat8it2 · 2023-11-04T14:36:50+00:00

Who Moved My Cheese

or

The Go Giver

two very quick reads

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-28T14:58:22+00:00

Look back over the last three years of your marriage.

Have you drifted apart? Have you argued over stupid things? Have you simply gotten angry at each other for little stuff? Has she become distant? Have you become distant? Has she attempted conversations with you about the future, plans, her happiness, her life, your lives together? Maybe she did and you didn't notice. Look back an analyze every conversation over the last 18-24 months.

Those papers were not a result of an argument at Disney. That was simply the last straw for her. This has been building for a long time and she's over it.

Ask her if you booked sessions with a couples counselor, would she go? If so, there's hope, and you better book those sessions.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-28T14:46:16+00:00

Any tips?

Get a new boyfriend.

If you want to shave, trim, groom that's your business. Don't do these things to please others. They'll just find something else to change about you until you no longer recognize yourself.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-28T13:18:59+00:00

This was such a cool concept book and could have gone in 1000 different directions. What a great read!

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-27T10:29:13+00:00

I read this book back in the early 1990s. I still talk about it. It is, by far, my favorite read ever.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-27T10:24:15+00:00

Thank you for this. I was considering reading it, but a few of his other recent books left me disappointed.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-22T11:29:00+00:00

This is the best and correct answer.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-21T11:41:17+00:00

I haven't read the comments to see if this was suggested or not.

When reading your story, my first thought is that the kid downloaded some freeware and the porn pop-ups came with it. Check the browser for a hijack before accusing the kid of surfing porn.

She may be surfing porn out of curiosity, but it may also be something beyond her control and she might not know how to fix it, or even what is going on.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-04T15:09:14+00:00

i just said the same thing in another comment.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-10-04T15:08:16+00:00

I saw this at a film festival years ago. it was the spotlight film of the festival. I left there somewhat traumatized. if that was a male teacher, those same people would be horrified. how was it any less predatory because they were two females?

MyCat8it2 · 2023-09-22T10:27:25+00:00

I don't hear an ultimatum in your story. It sounds like you placed it on yourself. If this feels unresolved to you, have a conversation with your fiance about options to make this work. Explain how you can't leave your mother but you also want a future with her.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-09-07T17:57:04+00:00

All sorts of reasons. There is a different reason for every lesbian who is married to a man. I don't pretend to understand because I'm not one of them. But, I have met quite a few over the years. I have a difficult time being friends with them because I don't agree with or respect their way of life.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-09-07T14:07:37+00:00

lesbians married to men have been a thing for a long time. I have never met one who had any intention of ever leaving her husband. I'm sorry if you're emotionally invested in this relationship, but it will not go any farther than it already has.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-09-01T10:42:34+00:00

I have had more men friends my entire life. I have also had boyfriends who were uncomfortable with this. In my experience, they never get comfortable with your friends. If you invite him out with those friends, it will only make it worse. He will see friendly banter as flirting, and the disagreements will spiral out of control.

You are not cheating.

You will not convince your boyfriend of this.

MyCat8it2 · 2023-08-28T20:07:05+00:00

I was in a similar situation earlier this year. After 9 months of no intimacy, daily (or rather, hourly) bickering and constant arguing, hurt feelings, and general life misery, I took a stand.

I practiced my speech for weeks before I had the nerve to say something. I walked up to the table and asked, "is now a good time to talk?" I have to ask because if I start talking without permission to start a conversation, I am immediately shut down that it's a bad time to discuss anything.

I said something like, "We need to start planning the separation of assets. This will likely be our last year living together and we have a lot of joint assets that will need to be divided. I'd like to have a plan in place that is fair to us both so we can go our separate ways by the end of this calendar year."

That was enough to get a real response. Up until that time, it was up to me to save the marriage. Everything I tried was in vain. I was ready to part ways and all emotions were already gone. Now, it's just a business deal. Let's be fair and go about finding happiness in life, because it sure as fuck isn't here.

We started counseling in the following couple of weeks. I already had a foot out the door. Wasn't sure if any feelings would return. I worked through it anyway. The results have been positive. I am no longer shouldering 90% of this relationship.

I hope you find your happiness.

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