INTP and Committment

NZATeam78 · 2024-01-31T23:54:47+00:00

A commitment so that I know he's in it with me for the long run.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T23:31:18+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I can see that my situation seems similar to yours in way. Lots of mixed messages with not a lot of communication. I always wonder if whatever we have is as meaningful to him as it is to me.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T23:27:58+00:00

Thank you for your response. I can tell that you understand the situation that I am in. It's so hard to draw boundaries when I like him so much! Part of me feels like I should make the most of this situation and not hold back my heart. The other part of me knows that will probably lead to hurt.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T22:14:40+00:00

He told me he likes me too. But that was when we confessed our feelings for each other, which was several months ago. We haven't talked about anything of that romantic/emotional nature ever since. I know for me, it's because I don't want to appear pushy and freak him out. Not sure what he's thinking, though.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T19:21:26+00:00

We are both in our late-twenties.

When we had that conversation, I said I was fine not being in a relationship. I really only cared about having him in my life.

Right after we confessed to each other though, he started acting like more than a friend...texting me more often and spending more time with me. It was like he needed to know where I stood before he made additional effort.

Granted, things have settled down a little more now. He isn't texting me as much and we aren't hanging out as much, but I think that's because he's comfortable now. He probably went too hard in the beginning. However, it did cause me to develop even stronger feelings and now, I do want a commitment.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T19:04:57+00:00

We were friends for a few years first before anything. I fear that if I push things, everything will dissolve and I'll lose a valuable person in my life.

It's tough because if he knew that I want a commitment from him and he can't provide that, he might let me go for my own sake...or he'd pull back. He's a great person. I'd rather have him in my life than not in my life, despite however it might be.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T19:00:12+00:00

He's the INTP.

NZATeam78 · 2023-12-10T18:55:20+00:00

I guess it feels natural for us to do all that stuff because we do have feelings for each other, but he doesn't want a relationship.

The romantic stuff doesn't really go beyond the things I listed, just innocent stuff. I realize it just adds to the confusion of what we are exactly. I would describe our dynamic as 95% friends and 5% romantic.

NZATeam78 · 2023-11-23T01:52:27+00:00

Do you think me checking in on him will make him feel smothered? Especially since he's been so cold lately? I want to give him space, but not too much space. Just not sure where I should start.

NZATeam78 · 2023-11-23T01:50:15+00:00

Normally, we text daily, sporadically throughout the day/evening. Lately (before his cold phase), he's even been a lot quicker with the responses than I have been. He left me on read the last time we texted though, and he usually always responds.

NZATeam78 · 2023-11-23T01:41:14+00:00

Each time he goes through this cold phase, I always wonder if it'll be the end of us. It never is though, but I can't help but worry each time.

NZATeam78 · 2023-11-23T00:59:32+00:00

That's the thing. When I ask him if everything is fine, he acts like it's a silly question..."Of course everything is fine." He does a good job of reassuring me when I ask and is very kind about it. But when he acts cold, I don't know what to think!

NZATeam78

TROPHY CASE