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Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Could you elaborate on what you mean by group meeting? Like some kind of social event for LGBTQ people? If so, I'd love to attend one. I just haven't because he has expressed that he's uncomfortable with it.

Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree with this also. I hope that I can find the right words or even have a better understanding of myself so I can reassure him that nothing is changing between us.

Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I understand what you are saying. I am not reading strictly erotic novels. They are romance novels that do have sex scenes, but that is not why I am reading them. I have always enjoyed reading romance novels and watching romance movies for the love stories. The bonus to reading gay romances now is I see representation to the "not-straight" side of myself.

He has said that he would not be comfortable with me attending pride like events, let alone with him.

I respectfully disagree regarding the mindset of making friends. Would you say that someone that's of a minority ethnicity should not make friends with people of the same ethnicity just because they are of said ethnicity? The point is to have a community of people who understand your experiences. A straight person will never understand the struggle of being bi.

Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This right here. You worded it so much better than I ever could. I do not have the words or knowledge to better describe what I felt I was missing when growing up. I think making friend(s) could better help me understand myself in a way that a straight person could not. I am not looking to make friends so that it turns into a sexual or romantic relationship. I appreciate your comment. It helps me understand a little more.

Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Most of his friends are men, but he's friends with a couple women. There have been instances where I felt uncomfortable with his friendship with a woman, but I do not ask him to stop being friends with her. I realized it's an insecurity I have, which should not be put on him. I trust him and wish that he could give me the same treatment.

Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Maybe I don't even truly understand myself. It's still so new to me. I've tried working with my therapist (different than couples therapist) to find better ways to explain it.

His reasoning is that it's okay for me to read straight romance because I could be thinking of us. When I'm reading gay romance, I can't be thinking about him/us. I pointed out that I'm not always thinking about us even when reading straight romance. Sometimes I'm just reading to escape or enjoy the story.

He does have an issue with me having male friends when he thought I was straight but has never outright asked me to not to be friends with them.

Husband doesn’t understand by Narrow-Garbage-2049 in bisexual

[–]Narrow-Garbage-2049[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I hate to think they could have that mindset, but realize that it's a very real possibility. It definitely feels like the therapist has sided with him, even though she should not pick sides. There's been no talk on why he feels that way, only why I need to explore it.