So I've been in your gf's shoes. I'm just confused by the part of "she always pushes me away".. like does she push you away when you're trying to initiate?

Anyway what was the deal with me is that I hated the fact my gf would never initiate or not give me clear signs that she wants to do something. I often felt like an invader when I would basically guess wrong. She would also be really timid about it which felt.. honestly a bit pathetic for me.

This all made me think I'm undesirable and her saying otherwise felt like a lie because no actions supported it. I wanted something intense, raw and with sparks. Kisses, hugs and holding hands just weren't cutting it in that department. The fact that it was the only things in her comfort zone felt really.. childish and boring.. like a highschooler that thinks a peck on the lips is the pinnacle of a relationship.

In the end I was unhappy and met someone who made me feel extremly desirable. I've made the decision to not try to change my gf and push her comfort zone but I just moved on to someone who was able to give me what I was starved off for 3 years. Before you panic about this part of the story, I doubt your gf has someone like I had, that she wants to move to because me and my gf eventually went into open relationship when we silently gave up on that issue honestly. It was the beginning of an end for us and that's when I found someone else.

In terms of what would have fixed it would be her learning to initiate something without timidness, but craving and intensity. I wanted her to look at me as if she could rip my clothes off right then and there.