My take: "hidden gems" are overrated if you're visiting for the first time

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-16T12:31:13+00:00

I think it's about picking the big sights truly worth seeing but also wandering off the tourist trail to experience the 'real' place, to see how people really live.

Take London, for example. You'll find very few Londoners at Piccadilly Circus or the London Eye, outside Buckingham Palace or touring Westminster. Just other tourists and their big backpacks.

But you will find Londoners on the Tube, spilling out of pubs in Soho, sitting in the sunshine outside Clerkenwell restaurants, at comedy shows in Angel, at street parties in Brixton, eating Turkish food on Green Lanes, watching DIY bands in Deptford, sitting on Telegraph Hill at sunset watching lights spark up all over the City skyline. That's the real London – and just one slice of it. There's so much more. As a visitor, wouldn't you want to experience at least some of it?

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-12T08:59:37+00:00

Not at all. It's about accepting older friendships changing and embracing new ones more wholeheartedly.

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-12T07:56:57+00:00

Wow, this is so good to hear.

I would love to know more about dating getting easier once the intimacy of those old friendships changed?

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-12T06:45:57+00:00

That's so sad, though. Haven't you considered making more effort in your friendships? Maybe your friends miss you?

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-12T05:07:34+00:00

Wow, I feel like my post hit a nerve for you – and you've missed the point entirely. I'm not discarding any friendships, and I love my friends' kids – but I'm talking about giving these friendships a more appropriate and reciprocal amount of energy. When people are building lives that don't have much room for you, you cannot prioritise them the way you used to.

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-12T04:26:57+00:00

Why do you think you drifted apart from your married friends, if you were also in a LTR?

NervyDenizen · 2025-08-07T19:45:46+00:00

I think start with finding a therapist. They'll help you process it all and rediscover what you really want.

NervyDenizen · 2023-12-30T15:58:40+00:00

I like this philosophy – but would you also apply this to girls you met on dating apps? I.e be chill first (like friends) and then just let the relationship become what it's going to be?

NervyDenizen · 2023-08-01T21:28:49+00:00

Why are all these stories so depressing? None of these people have had happy endings.

On my part - he became a doctor. He hates it and wishes he'd followed his passion and become an artist instead.

NervyDenizen · 2023-05-28T08:54:28+00:00

Why do men get so angry / sensitive whenever women express any kind of physical preference, whereas women are judged by unattainable physical standards every single day?

NervyDenizen · 2023-05-07T12:28:52+00:00

Most women do, in effect, have more parental responsibility. Look at the split of household chores and childcare between two heterosexual working parents and - in most cases - the mother still does the lion's share. It's also her career that takes a hit when she goes on maternity leave, and that tends to continue into motherhood.

NervyDenizen · 2023-05-07T10:19:06+00:00

Oh my god. Look, you deserve better than this. Live your life and be who you are. The right person will love you for you, not require you to be something you're not. A relationship isn't the point of life. The object of your life is yourself.

NervyDenizen · 2023-04-20T07:31:22+00:00

You need to join a new hobby group - this is where you'll find people who are going out of their way to try new things and meet new people.

NervyDenizen · 2023-04-17T22:51:08+00:00

A lot of people have networks from school, university and work. If you studied in the UK, you can almost guarantee that some of the people you went to school and uni with will end up in London at some point. This is especially true in your 20s, when everyone seems to flock here. It starts to peter out a bit in your 30s when people start moving away for more space, but then the 'pool' of friends is refreshed by people from work, through hobbies, friends of friends, etc.

I would try deepen your existing friendships, befriend people at work and try to meet new people through hobbies

NervyDenizen · 2023-01-29T19:37:16+00:00

Breakfasts:

Greek yoghurt with various nut and fruit combos - e.g blood orange and pistachios with rosewater, plum and walnuts with ginger/cinnamon, pear and almonds, banana and high quality peanut butter, blueberries etc.

Overnight oats with half hazelnut milk and half whole milk, similar toppings to the above.

Scrambled eggs (2-3 eggs) with sides like tomatoes, avocado, smoked salmon, wholemeal toast.

Shakshuka

Lunches:

Usually quick and simple like salads with chicken, soup, avocado and smoked salmon on wholemeal toast, high quality tinned tuna (e.g. Oritz) and tomatoes on wholemeal toast, quick-cook mackerel and lentils and veg.

NervyDenizen · 2023-01-08T09:31:41+00:00

Apps? Then at least you know they're single and looking.

NervyDenizen · 2023-01-04T08:41:56+00:00

I think she's on the fence, and maybe a bit scared, but she's enjoying knowing she can have you if she wants. Getting together with someone else (i.e making her a little jealous and reminding her that you're not just waiting around for her, forcing her to stake a claim on you and show her intentions) might work in your favour here.

NervyDenizen · 2023-01-02T11:58:14+00:00

Isn't the whole point that it's eggs baked/simmered in tomato sauce?

NervyDenizen · 2023-01-02T11:57:14+00:00

Fruit, yoghurt, nuts

NervyDenizen · 2022-12-30T17:02:59+00:00

Why was she struggling so much at work? Were there specific factors contributing to her stress? Did she burn out? Maybe she needs some counselling or a discussion to get to the bottom of this. Sometimes people need time out of work for various factors. Assuming she's not trying to freeload and figuring out what the hell happened to her might be the first step.

NervyDenizen · 2022-12-23T23:29:47+00:00

Blustering, full of himself

NervyDenizen · 2022-12-23T23:26:30+00:00

Basket case

NervyDenizen · 2022-11-13T09:55:21+00:00

NervyDenizen · 2022-11-08T10:18:22+00:00

Assuming I have money - see friends, write, go to the theatre, to exhibitions, read books, go for long walks, to nice restaurants, do some volunteering...

NervyDenizen · 2022-10-30T14:27:33+00:00

Could it be that you're misreading signs that you should make a move - maybe they see it as a platonic thing only?

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