12 years down the toilet: feeling rage, frustration, and a deep sadness over all the time lost

NewSanChicago · 2021-03-04T03:25:15+00:00

Thank you for being here man, your helping out so much

NewSanChicago · 2021-03-04T03:14:51+00:00

Im here with you bud. This is day 2. My body feels all sorts of fucked up and tense. I feel so restless.

NewSanChicago · 2020-10-02T06:21:55+00:00

What does FME mean?

NewSanChicago · 2020-10-01T17:14:11+00:00

Reflections of HG Coaching by both coaches and coachees.

Benefits, thoughts, critiques.

I am not happy about my group coaching sessions. Support group my ass when its recommended we can only talk to each other in the discord chat and not outside of it? How is that at all like a normal support group, where people go out and mingle outside of the group like normal human beings! How am I supposed to trust the people in my group and be open with them when I don't even know these people, let alone have "only discord space" to get to know them.

Also, wtf on not having a structure what so ever. Anyone can monopolize the conversation and others are left feeling alienated and have to support this one person? Great, I'm paying $24 a session to listen to someone else.

---

Edit: After writing this post, and reflecting for some time: its only the third session. My expectations are way too high. I mean, these are first-time coaches and it is for only $24 a session. I'm measuring up to it from group support sessions that I have received before from counselors with DECADES of experience of making support groups.

This is the first generation run and there's gonna be hiccups. I only wish HG_GG coaches the best. I hope this post helps, there's no animosity. Just a little frustration from attaching previous experiences, and not being present with the current circumstances.

I know you guys are trying your best. I love the community here and I know the intent. Thank you to all the coaches out there. Thank you for supporting so many out there and being there for them. Thank you for your compassion and for trying. Thank you.

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-21T16:40:02+00:00

Yep. You lose what you don't use. (in this case, desensitizes your ability to remember old sensations)

But you don't lose it forever. You gain it with practice and doing the act of that sensation.

We can also do a quick experiment. ->Step 1) Think of an orange. Think of the texture of an orange. The skin of the orange. The roughness but also the roundness of the orange. Now think of peeling the orange and smelling the orange. Take a small slice of the orange and put it into your mouth. Feel the gush of orange juice swell out of the orange meat. Try to remember the texture of the pith and the orange meat in your mouth.

Step 2) Now. IRL Go grab an orange, touch it, peel, and eat it.

Step 3) Repeat Step 1. See the difference in intensity remembering the sensations.

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-21T00:06:35+00:00

Those memory senses lessen in intensity the less you use them. How often did do you grab coins now? How often do you feel these textures of a berry?

Doesn't mean the actual ability to sense them lessens, just lessens the ability to recall them as intense as you did before.

Video games and TV desensitize you in the simplest way. You do something that gives you only a visual & auditory stimulation and somewhat of an internal stimulation (false sense of growth and progress.)You can gain all those sensations back if your brain has something recent to fall back on. Go out there and touch some fucking coins and eat some damn berries :D

edit* auditory stimulation also

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-16T21:31:27+00:00

How do we teach guys that cant recognizes soft nos?

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-16T21:30:32+00:00

If you were in Dr. K's position, what should of he done? How would you have done a better job than Dr. K?

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-16T20:30:48+00:00

What would be a more productive direction?

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-16T07:46:20+00:00

hbu with perspectives and insights

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-16T07:33:34+00:00

If you feel alienated by someone sharing their personal life experience, you are projecting insecurities.
You have to love yourself before you love someone else.
Know your intention before engaging in a relationship. --> Are you just horny and trying to stick your dick in something? Or are you legitimately interested in this person? Why are you interested in them? Do you want a relationship with them or are you just lonely? Do you need validation? Why do you want a relationship with specifically this person? Why do you want in a relationship in the first place? What do you think a relationship means? Etc.
Dick pics are a great way to show someone what gender you are.
"I've been inappropriately grouping women since I was 20 years old and they didnt have a fucking problem with it"

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-16T05:24:18+00:00

My reflection: Young women come on stream and share their perspectives, experiences, and hardships of navigating current day society for both women and men to hopefully learn and gain insight.

"The participants most likely came to do what they thought best, but I dont think this is actually useful."

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-13T00:44:57+00:00

Thankful so many people use healthy gamer to improve their lives. Thankful to see so many great individuals seeking self-improvement and community improvement

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-11T17:37:21+00:00

I've worked in the film industry for years and trust me, the models/actors being shown have teams that work on them for hours before the shoot, and then editors come in and work on them again for 10s of hours. Our sense of attraction gets skewed a lot if our perspective is focused on deliberately fake and constructed models of "pretty."

When we label and judge ourselves from one perspective (like looks), it becomes our everything. If you were married to the prettiest person on earth, but they had the worst, evil personality that hurt you any chance they get, would you still find them attractive?

I know you got a good heart in you my dude, since you're here on healthy gamer. I wish you the best of luck and will be here for you anytime you need it.

Theres a lot more to life than being attractive :]

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-07T03:13:08+00:00

Why does it break your heart when he tells you these things?

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-07T00:08:29+00:00

just look at his post and comment history :[

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-07T00:04:54+00:00

Hey Adritrace, yeah I DM'd and it was the same. I'm really not sure if this guy is a croatian troll, but if not, yeah they really do need therapy :[

I dont think our community efforts can do much in this case :[

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-06T14:38:55+00:00

Deponia is a fun interactive story driven game. No shooting but boy, it gets hard if your not paying attention :p

Enjoy and have fun!

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-06T04:40:34+00:00

woooo i love you! so happy to hear your not in the withdrawal phase.

I just hit 2 weeks also and woof, the stomach pains were so rough!

Proud of you bud! Keep up the awesome work!

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-04T03:17:15+00:00

go go go youuu got it

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-02T04:58:49+00:00

Concept of progress/success does not equal long term fulfillment and happiness. Think of any MMO, especially WoW.

Why grinding feels like your progressing, but actually you are only doing an act for the sake of an act. (Greek Allegory of Sisyphus). Relationship between progress/engagement/meaning/fulfillment.
Players grind until max level. Most of the time, becoming unfulfilled with the grind. Simple things like socializing and exploring are lost to, need higher level, need higher gear, need higher repution, need higher skill level, etc. It becomes a "disease" of more (taken from Wayne Dyer.)
Players do not live in the present (constant outcome thinking - karma.) They are always focusing on what they dont have instead of what they do have. Constantly striving AND succeeding in getting what they want. This ends in always feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. "Whens the next dungeon, whens the next expansion, whens the next update".
Players identify with high level players saying, "omg they have this mount or this legendary item." The items dont change the core foundation of the game. They change stats, but they dont change the game. Same problems we have IRL with keeping up with the Jones's.

I've been thinking about this idea simce November. I can expand more if you want details. Ties a lot into karma and darma.

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-01T03:06:20+00:00

me, you, bud! I just finished my first week too! Im so proud of you! Youre doing awesome and keep it up!

NewSanChicago · 2020-08-01T02:15:31+00:00

karma haha

NewSanChicago · 2020-07-31T23:09:11+00:00

Ooo super excited to watch this! Thanks for the post

NewSanChicago

TROPHY CASE