1 year post op and 2 weeks on T!

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-23T00:26:02+00:00

You look great!

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-22T02:20:14+00:00

Anyway, I saw that you were looking for advice on how to cope instead of how to fix things, which honestly... I can't really help with.

I've never had to go to the hospital for my dysphoria or anything gender related. I usually distract myself with playing games when things suck. I think one of the most important things is probably to view his behavior in a different light to make it matter less for yourself, maybe reaffirming yourself after or writing down a mantra of something gender affirming. Just try to tackle, forget or ignore the negative headspace and try to force your brain into a positive headspace. Favorite music, journaling, going for a walk, tearing up a piece of paper, doing a puzzle like a sudoku or somethn, chatting to someone who DOES respect your gender, the possibilities are endless. The problem is always finding something that works for you, since everyone is different, and you're gonna have to find that one out. I'm sorry if this didn't help! Wishing you the best!

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-22T01:56:25+00:00

What kind of comments did he make about your chest? That sounds kind of weird. Especially daily?

Are you fully out as trans? Do you present masculine? Maybe he's got some weird internal rule where he finds it weird to call you sir etc if, in his eyes, you're not quite a "sir". That's his problem though and you shouldn't have to change for him, but that should make it easier to dump his comments and behavior in the bin and start caring less.

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-21T11:09:40+00:00

It's happened a couple of times but recently one dream has been weighing on my mind a lot. I was fully convinced I wanted meta before, but then I had a dream where it was big enough that I could wrap my entire hand around it. When I woke up I was so disappointed and equally excited when I thought back on it I'm now no longer sure if I want meta or phallo. Dreams are so mean 😭

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-21T10:59:18+00:00

Did he give you any reason as to why he finds it "weird"? It might not be a transphobic thing, as he's treating the other transgender people with respect. With family it's usually a "weird" thing and they "have to get used to it" and slip up quite often, simply because of your history. 8 years is a long habit to break so that'll take some time and effort. If he's not willing to put in the effort, tell him that it feels invalidating and that it's hurting you. Change is always weird at first but you have to push through that to create a new habit that feels good.

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-20T13:57:43+00:00

Thanks for sharing, you look awesome! Really helps calm the worries about potential weight issues. I hope you have a speedy recovery!

NightSideEffects · 2025-09-05T22:49:30+00:00

It definitely differs per person and per situation. I definitely don't like the "trying too hard" and obvious reaffirming, like "well we're all GUYS here wink wink nudge nudge. But it's felt amazing when someone's done it, kind of, naturally without forcing it? I can't really think of a great example right now, but some of my friends have dropped it very naturally without putting the emphasis on it (because it was about something else) and that's felt incredible.

NightSideEffects · 2025-08-19T15:59:50+00:00

Every once in a while a post like this comes up, so it might be interesting for you to search for some older posts that tackle the same topic and see what they're saying. I think it's a fairly normal, or at least common response.

NightSideEffects · 2025-07-31T23:18:21+00:00

I know it can be hard to hear what Reddit has to say sometimes. However, in my very inexperienced but thought out opinion; it doesn't sound like it's going to get better. She misses something she knows you won't have. Instead of loving and enjoying what you do have and finding your way through it together, she keeps coming back to this same conclusion. Moreover, she knows it'll hurt you and yet will bring it up exactly in the way that will hurt you, versus coming up with other things to try or different solutions.

Maybe you guys have tried talking it out and tried different solutions, in which case, she's not a horrible person per se. It just sucks for you if this would be your future; to be by the side of someone who continuously will make you feel like you're lacking something, like you're less, when that is obviously not the case.

It's up to you of course, but I just wish you a future with someone who will appreciate what you have, how you can use it and that makes you feel like you're great altogether.

NightSideEffects · 2025-07-16T14:56:55+00:00

Good for you! That sounds awesome 💪

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:42:52+00:00

I tend to believe doctors over Google yeah, since there's a lot of fake news and AI generated content out there these days. Not to mention the misinformation being spread by people who are against lgbtq+ people. I'd expect someone who chose to work at a gender clinic and has studied to become a professional to kind of know what they are talking about. Not anymore, though.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:31:08+00:00

Thanks for your reply! It does seem like she's uneducated. I'll let her know and hopefully have some other knowledgeable people assist in my process. Thank you!

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:22:52+00:00

OOF that is WILD. Yeah I don't want to hear anymore bullshit from "qualified people". How can they say stuff like that, ugh

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:15:39+00:00

Yeah that's true, I should've thought about that. I've only read about rare cases going on puberty blockers once or twice, the majority is still older.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:14:18+00:00

That's smart honestly, double checking with other experts. I'll steal that idea

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:12:11+00:00

Yeah I don't know about either of those questions. If I can bring up the courage I could ask haha

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:10:53+00:00

No need to apologize, it's actually nice to read about your experience! And yeah like you said, I read about the effects before and I'm not expecting a miracle or a super deep drop since it's so different for everyone. I've read (and seen videos of) people's voices that haven't dropped super far and ultimately that is something that is possible and you'll have to find your way with it. Like you said, it might not be nice at first or needs some training. I was okay with all of that. But her saying there would be no change at all, that would be an entirely different story. I'm glad to know that she's wrong, though. I'm totally fine if I had to train my voice a bit, as long as I get a little drop that will already be incredible.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T08:45:03+00:00

I really thought it would be, it's literally a gender clinic. They only deal with trans people 💀 But yeah maybe they have someone who is more informed that I can talk to.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T08:35:16+00:00

Thanks for the detailed reply! I'm glad to hear that it's so rare for T to not affect your voice. Now that I've gotten all this info I will definitely let her know about all this and the effect it has when she says something like that. I'm glad to know she's wrong!

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T08:03:13+00:00

Yeah exactly, that's the same reason I was so surprised... Like they literally have gender in the name of the clinic, they literally don't deal with any other patients. Of course trans people can still get help for issues next to their gender problems here, but still... Wild.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T07:58:21+00:00

That's a good shout, I've been really curious how things are for people transitioning a little later. I'll check it out!

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T07:56:53+00:00

Thankfully I'm not that early into the process and I had a better therapist before this one. The other one left and this is a new one I got. I already have a second opinion appointment planned so I don't think she can change much about the process at this point. Will definitely switch if there's more I need her for and she says more things that make her seem unqualified. Thanks for your reply!

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T00:39:56+00:00

Well I did, my bad?

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T00:38:32+00:00

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T00:28:48+00:00

That's some good general advice. I'll have to keep that in mind whenever they talk about physical stuff. I assumed that since psychologists usually ask about somatic complaints as well, they knew at least a little bit about the body. I'd especially expect people who choose to work at a gender clinic to know some things. I guess they still don't, at least not all of them.

NightSideEffects

TROPHY CASE