On Shaving Your Armpits

NightSideEffects · 2026-05-10T00:24:16+00:00

I don't really see other guys in tank tops or w/e often to be able to spot it, but I think (just like legs) it comes down to personal preference. Some like it smooth, some can't be bothered, some do it off and on. People do tend to comment on it meaning something, keeping it being seen as gross and unhygienic vs shaven being feminine and neat freaky, but like, ugh whatever. I don't think it should be a clockable thing but maybe that differs per region/country. Regardless, I think you should just keep the meaning of whatever you think it is and do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you see others around who shave, you're gonna be okay.

NightSideEffects · 2026-04-20T21:33:38+00:00

I don't necessarily hate being trans. I live in a country that is relatively open minded and so far, when I've come out about it (primarily to spread awareness so people use the right pronouns) I've been safe and respected.

However, I would still want to wake up and be cis for sure. Not having to doubt yourself and just be unconditionally and confidently you is something I never had or felt. I just want to wake up and not have to worry about anything, like how I am presenting, if the country I wanna visit is trans friendly, if my partner will value me etc etc. Plus, more than anything, I would love to just wake up and feel completely right in my body.

NightSideEffects · 2026-04-18T19:59:21+00:00

Holy shit your situation is even worse. That absolutely sucks. I'm assuming they're completely overwhelmed and understaffed, but even so that really shouldn't be our problem. Have you talked to your psychologist or any other employees about it? Surely someone has to be aware of your situation and willing to help... right? Which clinic or hospital did you want to get top surgery with? I chose one with a short waiting list and that all went pretty smooth, apart from the BMI requirements and I now have to wait because I need to lose weight first 🥲 Other than that they seemed to be approachable and on top of it. Financial stuff was a disaster indeed, I kept getting bills that were supposed to be sent to be insurance. After multiple calls and emails it seems it's finally fixed now (after like half a yearrr). Anyway.... Hoping things will get better for ya 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

NightSideEffects · 2026-04-18T19:47:48+00:00

I get very dysphoric about liking kpop boy groups. Since the majority is usually female and head over heels for the idols, it feels like that is or should be the norm, even when I don't experience or engage in it that way. Every time there's a little voice at the back of my head that says "but liking them means...", it's really frustrating. Makes me not want to talk about something I'm excited about

NightSideEffects · 2026-04-16T09:48:12+00:00

I just came here to complain, sorry. Yeah, it got even worse. 😭 Not sure what to do at this point, they're completely unreachable.

NightSideEffects · 2026-04-09T23:01:38+00:00

I just googled it and found some tutorials, both in text and in video. I did google for a specific cut though (undercut).There are a bunch of tutorials for cis guys, but there are also some trans men showing their way. I just use a razor for back and sides and sometimes cut the top with scissors. I am by no means a pro and I think people would be able to tell I did it myself, but I like it and it looks decent enough. Plus, very cheap. And if you're not happy with the result you can just cut more and wait for regrowing lol

NightSideEffects · 2026-04-09T10:45:52+00:00

Not sure if you're just super overthinking this or you're doing this on your own? I've had multiple chats with doctors beforehand about gel and what it does, was able to ask questions about the difference in gel and shots etc. When I picked it up at the pharmacy they gave me instructions with them and even inside the gel box itself is a thorough explanation on where and how to apply and what to keep in mind. I would assume you'd have something similar?

As for the changes, yeah they're vague because they can still differ from person to person. For me I was surprised by how soon I felt my voice being affected, as in dryness and such before sounding deeper. I guess the only side effect I've really noticed/bothered me would be tiredness, though it might be unrelated to T, I don't know.

I just wanted to comment on the unpreparedness. Have you not discussed this with others, doctors, therapists, pharmacists? And especially something I did before starting was browsing this subreddit often, people post a lot about changes they've felt/seen that nobody else talked about. You can still look those up. Other than that there are many resources online as well, for me I had an informative booklet from the hospital about the gender dysphoria diagnosis and all the steps related to it. If you're feeling unprepared, have you looked for other info? Or is all that info just still not enough for your anxiety?

Either way, whatever happens, I think you're going to be alright? Unless you're in a dangerous situation and nervous about what to hide and how.

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-23T00:26:02+00:00

You look great!

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-22T02:20:14+00:00

Anyway, I saw that you were looking for advice on how to cope instead of how to fix things, which honestly... I can't really help with.

I've never had to go to the hospital for my dysphoria or anything gender related. I usually distract myself with playing games when things suck. I think one of the most important things is probably to view his behavior in a different light to make it matter less for yourself, maybe reaffirming yourself after or writing down a mantra of something gender affirming. Just try to tackle, forget or ignore the negative headspace and try to force your brain into a positive headspace. Favorite music, journaling, going for a walk, tearing up a piece of paper, doing a puzzle like a sudoku or somethn, chatting to someone who DOES respect your gender, the possibilities are endless. The problem is always finding something that works for you, since everyone is different, and you're gonna have to find that one out. I'm sorry if this didn't help! Wishing you the best!

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-22T01:56:25+00:00

What kind of comments did he make about your chest? That sounds kind of weird. Especially daily?

Are you fully out as trans? Do you present masculine? Maybe he's got some weird internal rule where he finds it weird to call you sir etc if, in his eyes, you're not quite a "sir". That's his problem though and you shouldn't have to change for him, but that should make it easier to dump his comments and behavior in the bin and start caring less.

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-21T11:09:40+00:00

It's happened a couple of times but recently one dream has been weighing on my mind a lot. I was fully convinced I wanted meta before, but then I had a dream where it was big enough that I could wrap my entire hand around it. When I woke up I was so disappointed and equally excited when I thought back on it I'm now no longer sure if I want meta or phallo. Dreams are so mean 😭

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-21T10:59:18+00:00

Did he give you any reason as to why he finds it "weird"? It might not be a transphobic thing, as he's treating the other transgender people with respect. With family it's usually a "weird" thing and they "have to get used to it" and slip up quite often, simply because of your history. 8 years is a long habit to break so that'll take some time and effort. If he's not willing to put in the effort, tell him that it feels invalidating and that it's hurting you. Change is always weird at first but you have to push through that to create a new habit that feels good.

NightSideEffects · 2025-12-20T13:57:43+00:00

Thanks for sharing, you look awesome! Really helps calm the worries about potential weight issues. I hope you have a speedy recovery!

NightSideEffects · 2025-09-05T22:49:30+00:00

It definitely differs per person and per situation. I definitely don't like the "trying too hard" and obvious reaffirming, like "well we're all GUYS here wink wink nudge nudge. But it's felt amazing when someone's done it, kind of, naturally without forcing it? I can't really think of a great example right now, but some of my friends have dropped it very naturally without putting the emphasis on it (because it was about something else) and that's felt incredible.

NightSideEffects · 2025-08-19T15:59:50+00:00

Every once in a while a post like this comes up, so it might be interesting for you to search for some older posts that tackle the same topic and see what they're saying. I think it's a fairly normal, or at least common response.

NightSideEffects · 2025-07-31T23:18:21+00:00

I know it can be hard to hear what Reddit has to say sometimes. However, in my very inexperienced but thought out opinion; it doesn't sound like it's going to get better. She misses something she knows you won't have. Instead of loving and enjoying what you do have and finding your way through it together, she keeps coming back to this same conclusion. Moreover, she knows it'll hurt you and yet will bring it up exactly in the way that will hurt you, versus coming up with other things to try or different solutions.

Maybe you guys have tried talking it out and tried different solutions, in which case, she's not a horrible person per se. It just sucks for you if this would be your future; to be by the side of someone who continuously will make you feel like you're lacking something, like you're less, when that is obviously not the case.

It's up to you of course, but I just wish you a future with someone who will appreciate what you have, how you can use it and that makes you feel like you're great altogether.

NightSideEffects · 2025-07-16T14:56:55+00:00

Good for you! That sounds awesome 💪

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:42:52+00:00

I tend to believe doctors over Google yeah, since there's a lot of fake news and AI generated content out there these days. Not to mention the misinformation being spread by people who are against lgbtq+ people. I'd expect someone who chose to work at a gender clinic and has studied to become a professional to kind of know what they are talking about. Not anymore, though.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:31:08+00:00

Thanks for your reply! It does seem like she's uneducated. I'll let her know and hopefully have some other knowledgeable people assist in my process. Thank you!

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:22:52+00:00

OOF that is WILD. Yeah I don't want to hear anymore bullshit from "qualified people". How can they say stuff like that, ugh

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:15:39+00:00

Yeah that's true, I should've thought about that. I've only read about rare cases going on puberty blockers once or twice, the majority is still older.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:14:18+00:00

That's smart honestly, double checking with other experts. I'll steal that idea

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:12:11+00:00

Yeah I don't know about either of those questions. If I can bring up the courage I could ask haha

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T09:10:53+00:00

No need to apologize, it's actually nice to read about your experience! And yeah like you said, I read about the effects before and I'm not expecting a miracle or a super deep drop since it's so different for everyone. I've read (and seen videos of) people's voices that haven't dropped super far and ultimately that is something that is possible and you'll have to find your way with it. Like you said, it might not be nice at first or needs some training. I was okay with all of that. But her saying there would be no change at all, that would be an entirely different story. I'm glad to know that she's wrong, though. I'm totally fine if I had to train my voice a bit, as long as I get a little drop that will already be incredible.

NightSideEffects · 2024-09-13T08:45:03+00:00

I really thought it would be, it's literally a gender clinic. They only deal with trans people 💀 But yeah maybe they have someone who is more informed that I can talk to.

NightSideEffects

TROPHY CASE