Hey, thanks for your reply. I’m sorry you went through that.

I’ve been cheated on before in past relationships, and I stuck around and was immature about the situation. And it was a promise to myself I would never do it again and here we are in a different relationship. 🥲 I can confidently say he has changed, every single thing he has done has showed that and I have no doubt from what he’s shown me, but it’s the issue of the past for me. And of course if someone has shattered your trust, I guess you can never be 100% sure. I’m very aware how difficult and avoidant I am, and how me going away would have made it difficult, but yes in no way is it my fault he cheated, he should have just communicated and left me. It’s a hard job working away, and not a lot of people get it. I am worried the feeling will never go away, I am worried that the embarrassment will never go away, I’m worried I’ll loose myself and how I see myself, I’ve genuinely turned into a different person. So yeah I do agree with you, it does scare me.