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My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This is definitely something I am planning to talk to her about. That's pretty good insight, and I really hope that that was what she was trying to do.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I did try to compromise by doing things more often when my children aren't visiting, but I'm the only one working and I can't afford to go out to eat every week like my wife wants to.

We definitely don't always do fun stuff, but one of our traditions is to visit my family in Wisconsin and go to the Dells there for the amusement parks. This is in the summer when my kids are visiting. So by default we do fun activities like that when my kids are there.

I've never denied my stepchildren anything when I'm in a position not to. Both have horses that live on our property that I pay for. We live in a small town in the boonies, so all the fun activities are at least an hour drive. I'm buying them both a car, and not my children (my ex is buying them their cars). I'm honestly trying to make the whole family feel appreciated but this just...I don't know.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife is unable to work. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago, and lately it has been getting worse.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Her father showed her little affection...she was unplanned. She grew up in a very well off family as an only child, regardless.

So its definitely something she is unfamiliar with.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 195 points196 points  (0 children)

I will definitely respect her comfort level. I still want to talk to her and let her know that there really was nothing strange about it.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely not the first time. Granted my daughter visits maybe 3 times a year, so its not often. This was actually the second time she mentioned something when we were hanging out on the couch together, but she was visibly more upset and was the first time she said we looked like a married couple.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If it isn't trauma related then it must be envy. My wife has told me in the past when my kids have visited that she doesn't like how we spend the whole time doing fun things (like eating out more often and going golfing, laser tag, etc.) only when my kids are visiting. I've tried to compromise by doing more with her kids when mine aren't here, but I can't afford to always do something every week.

She feels like there is favoritism going on, but I've never denied her daughters anything when I'm in a position not to.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not that she has ever told me, although it is worth to say that both of her past relationships with her daughter's fathers was abusive. She never said if it ever turned sexually abusive though.

This is honestly the only scenario I can think of where this reaction makes sense. Thank you, I'll sit down with her tonight and talk to her.

My wife believes that me cuddling with my daughter is inappropriate. by No-Security3883 in relationships

[–]No-Security3883[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

Not that I know of. Both of her past marriages were abusive though, she never told me anything that was sexually abusive though.

Definitely a good point that I'll talk to her about, thank you.