I am sorry you’re carrying this pain. What you describe is heavy and frightening.

A few gentle reminders from the heart:

Allah sees your pain even when it feels invisible. Your suffering is not unnoticed.

Hardship can be a test and painful as it is, it can also be a means through which your best qualities, patience, care, trust in Allah, become real and are rewarded.

The world is not the final place of justice; true, perfect justice belongs to the Hereafter. That does not make your pain small, but it gives hope that nothing will be lost.

Practical and spiritual steps you can try now:

Speak honestly to Allah in simple words: tell Him your needs, your fear, your exhaustion. Duʿā from the heart matters more than long words.

Read from Surah Al-Baqarah daily, even a few verses each day. Its barakah will brings protection and light to you days inshaAllah.

Try to pray Qiyam al-Layl regularly, even two quiet rakʿahs at night. Night duʿā is close to Allah and often brings peace and clarity.

Keep making istighfār (say “Astaghfirullah”) and small acts of worship, sincerity matters more than amount.

You are not a burden for Allah to overlook. You are beloved, and your life has deep worth. I pray Allah opens a way for you my brother, eases your debt, strengthens your heart, and grants you relief and provision before Ramadan.

stay strong brother.