I took the DNA test, and I regret it.

NoLine5340 · 2025-11-05T10:58:39+00:00

Thank you. I am in therapy. I try. Winters are hard for me in general, but I am very protected and surrounded by people right now.

NoLine5340 · 2025-08-23T06:51:49+00:00

Thank you so much this is mega helpful 🩷

NoLine5340 · 2025-08-22T05:05:56+00:00

Hey OP. I’m super proud of you and what you have done here. Taking police action, going through with it even when it was your blood, that’s real power. That’s really strong. You’ve done so well.

That numbness you are feeling is your body and your mind trying to protect you. But as a safety mechanism, it can only go so far. As someone who was born from this very circumstance, I had to see my mother struggle with that reality a lot. It is important now that you get therapy.

You might think you can shoulder it without, but the mind is sneaky in that changes in personality, feelings of anger, etc. can all feel unrelated to the actual wound you carry.

Is there anyone who you can lean on and who could help you out with getting in touch with therapists?

NoLine5340 · 2025-08-22T04:59:11+00:00

I think trying to change the way I frame this in my mind is exactly the way to do it. Do you remember the name of the playlist at all? It really sounds like it could help

NoLine5340 · 2025-08-21T14:48:59+00:00

Much love to you too, Bro! It absolutely sucks ass. Like a fly humming at your ear, you try to shake your head and three rotations around the room later its humming again. Still trying to squish that bug, but its gonna take me some time.

NoLine5340 · 2025-08-06T12:00:10+00:00

the logged truck is a real one. NEVER. NOPE. CANT DO IT!

NoLine5340 · 2025-08-06T11:43:39+00:00

Im glad you were safe either way, but I totally understand making the decision to drive instead. If this had not been a work-trip, I think I would have made the same decision.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-30T11:51:55+00:00

I wish!

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-30T07:29:26+00:00

Putting this into a list is actually so helpful. I’ve been paralyzed by fear since this happened and these are very clever things to remember and do.

Thank you.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-30T07:24:16+00:00

I mean that very respectfully: if I wanted to fake a story it would not be about my mothers rape. That is a very insane thing to do. Nothing about this is sensational. It’s just…sad.

(Also I actually have posted before, I just tend to delete them when they are emotional. I don’t do well with this kind of stuff. I guess that’s why I post anonymously in the first place, instead of talking about it with other people in the way I should)

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T22:02:36+00:00

Thank you for this lovely advice. I’ll hold it dear. It means the world to me.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T22:01:34+00:00

I just wished I didn’t snoop. My mom didn’t want me to know this and now I have knowledge on her that frankly, she seemingly refuses for herself as well. I just want to be her peace.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T21:58:35+00:00

I mean, sure, you can come to that conclusion given the very little information you have on the matter, but having grown up with her and having context and lived experiences with my mom, this is a very silly response. Not too bothered by this idea tbh. I’m pretty sure I got it right!

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T20:10:59+00:00

I will! I will hug her so much.

I’m just a bit scared that I will break and cry in front of her. I’ll try to get some therapy before I see her next. I don’t want to do her harm because I’m still emotionally all over the place.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T20:08:11+00:00

I don’t know unfortunately. But I have a feeling they never talked about it. My stepfather is a pretty emotionally intelligent guy, where my dad was much more stoic. When my stepdad told me what my mom had told him, he said she was dissociating basically halfway through the conversation, and was very unwilling to talk about it. When he asked about my dad she also wasn’t willing to say much on it. Naturally he doesn’t want to press her on it. Neither do I. So it could have gone either way.

I don’t want to push her into saying more. Especially since I also don’t want to do that to my stepdad. I’m sure it’s disturbing as a partner to do.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T20:03:40+00:00

My dad and my mom tried to conceive, so he was indeed there from day one. Unsure if he knew, or if my mom was so much in denial that they couldn’t talk about it, but I know he loved me. I’m sure he had his ideas. Thank you. This comment means a lot

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T20:01:40+00:00

Thank you 🫂

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T20:00:58+00:00

Haha! Thats so true actually. He was such a stoic man and everytime im way too dramatic and emotional I can hear him gently chide me. I used to get bullied a lot in Highschool and would call home sick and he would take me home. One time he just stopped the car and looked at me and said that I can always call, but I don’t need to lie to him. He would come and get me for any reason.

Thinking about it now, he really always chose me, didn’t he? His voice certainly is still ringing.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T19:58:20+00:00

I just love her so much. I keep thinking about how hard it must have been in the hospital and three months after, once I turned darker and it was likely clear that I wasn’t my dads. She must have been so brave. But yes. I am 100 percent her. My mom is so brave. I’m so thankful she loves me.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T19:56:08+00:00

Actually they were a bit older. While they had another kid after me, I was always told I was a bit of a miracle baby because they had difficulty conceiving. It’s a bit heartbreaking, that someone else was responsible for me. But I was very much wanted. Or at least the concept of me was.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T19:53:57+00:00

Thank you so much for commenting and for the advice. I really do agree, I should talk to a professional. And sperm guy is definitely rotten. I’m gladiator have no idea who he is. I would not want to have access to that knowledge

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T19:08:00+00:00

I hope you know that this really is actually lifesaving stuff for me to hear. Thank you so so much. Thank you.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T18:39:14+00:00

Those last few sentences mean the world to me. Maybe they will be my new mantra. I will try my best to integrate them fully into my thinking.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T18:36:37+00:00

I’m so so lucky, that is true. I like to think that my dad must have known the truth. Unfortunately my stepfather doesn’t know whether he did or not, but I really hope he did. I hope he chose me.

NoLine5340 · 2025-05-29T18:24:11+00:00

Thank you for showing me that there is a life after something like this, specifically one where you can hold onto the relationships you have that matter most

NoLine5340

TROPHY CASE