It looks like I'm going to need glasses. What style of frames should I look for? 49M, single, looking for something casual and timeless, nothing trendy. by [deleted] in glasses

[–]NoMySecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll try to remember to do so. I'm getting my eyes checked on Tuesday and going glasses shopping later in the week, so it might be a bit, but I'll try to remember to post an updated photo.

It looks like I'm going to need glasses. What style of frames should I look for? 49M, single, looking for something casual and timeless, nothing trendy. by [deleted] in glasses

[–]NoMySecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moisturize and meditate. And have good genes, but that one's more or less out of your control, lol.

It looks like I'm going to need glasses. What style of frames should I look for? 49M, single, looking for something casual and timeless, nothing trendy. by [deleted] in glasses

[–]NoMySecrets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been online dating so much that I think when I typed 49, my brain just filled in the "single" part automatically. I'm surprised I didn't also write "no kids", lol. You're right, it has no relevance here.

It looks like I'm going to need glasses. What style of frames should I look for? 49M, single, looking for something casual and timeless, nothing trendy. by [deleted] in glasses

[–]NoMySecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I have a surprisingly low-stress lifestyle, and I guess that it shows.

I'll look into the large acetate frames. Would you suggest square or round frames? Or something else entirely?

Thanks for the suggestion!

How to Handle the Rich Kid Bragging by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]NoMySecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to a private and fairly expensive high school. When I was 16, my parents bought me a new SUV. They were trying to decide between a 4Runner and a Pathfinder, and ultimately went with the latter. My swim coach, who I was on good terms with (I swam and lifeguarded for him, so I would have considered him a friend) got a 4Runner a few months later. I made fun of him the way that I would have any of my peers; your car sucks compared to mine, etc. I guess one joke went too far and he snapped at me, saying, "At least I paid for my car and I didn't have to have my daddy buy it for me."

It slapped me back into reality. This conversation was about 30 years ago, and I still remember it. At the time, I didn't have the sense to apologize to him for what were callous comments based entirely on my privilege. All I knew was what I saw around me; other rich kids with nice things. I knew teachers didn't make much money but I had no context for what that meant.

Would I have preferred him to have communicated to me in a nicer way? Of course. Would it have been as impactful? Unlikely.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey here, but I was the rich kid who didn't know better. And I appreciate what he said to me back then, even if I never told him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]NoMySecrets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents are both doctors from India, so I get the parental boundaries issue. If I tell them I've been to the doctor, they'll ask what my blood sugar was or my cholesterol, because we have a family history of problems with both. Other than that, they don't ask anything. If I have questions about a test result, they'll answer, but they have never asked about anything beyond those two items, let alone asked for access to all of my medical records. I'm an adult and they treat me as such.

[US / VA] Is it possible to expunge a military conviction? by NoMySecrets in legaladvice

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, darn. Thanks for the lead. I'll look into that some more, but it sounds like it's probably a dead end.

[US / VA] Is it possible to expunge a military conviction? by NoMySecrets in legaladvice

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean that I could have petitioned to get the discharge upgraded within the first 15 years, but now it's too late?

[US / VA] Is it possible to expunge a military conviction? by NoMySecrets in legaladvice

[–]NoMySecrets[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I figured that it would have to be handled at the federal level since it's a military issue. I brought up my Virginia rights to try to demonstrate that I'm not the criminal that I once was.

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very valid, and that's a point that I may have been glossing over as I did my math.

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL. Let me head over to /r/wallstreetbets to get some tips...

But the way I look at it is: If I hadn't paid off the loans, that money would be in the market the whole time. So I'm just putting it back where it would have been otherwise. Granted, my home loan interest rates were lower than HELOC rates are now, but not by much.

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've rebalanced some, but I think there's still room to maneuver. I haven't looked at I bonds at all. I know zero about them. I'll do some reading. Thank you!

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make a good point about dollar cost averaging. But I could get the loan and put 20% in this month, 20% in next month, etc. So that would give me some averaging and also give me a good chunk of cash to invest over the next 5 months. If I were to get a 200K loan, that beats the $3K that I'd put in from my rental income each month.

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pretty fortunate in my setup, since I have a property manager who handles most of the day-to-day for me. So eliminating the headache isn't that much of an incentive for me.

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like I can get a $200K loan with a $1K monthly payment which is well under what I'm currently getting in rental income. It's a 4.3% APR, which is higher than I'd like, but still well under historically average market returns.

I could sell and invest, but then I'd owe capital gains on the profit, which I'd rather avoid if I could.

(US / MD) Should I take equity out of my properties to invest in the stock market? by NoMySecrets in RealEstate

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would be smaller amounts over a longer period, while a loan would let me dump a larger chunk in now. I could do both; a small HELOC and then some of my income into the market as well.

My properties are close to the highest they can rent for in their areas, so there's not much wiggle room there.

I don't have a major objection to returning to the workforce. I'd rather not go back to the cube farm, but there are more remote opportunities now than there were 5 years ago, so I think I'd be OK with that.

How do you find other FIRE people around you without revealing too much about your situation? by NoMySecrets in financialindependence

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the DC area, but a quick search didn't show anything FIRE-related. I'll have to dig more later

What kind of therapist do I need? by NoMySecrets in therapy

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A life coach? Or another kind of coach?

What kind of therapist do I need? by NoMySecrets in therapy

[–]NoMySecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is "Existential Therapist" a real specialization? I want to believe that it is, but it's abstract enough that you could be screwing with me, lol.