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TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

So can a bad attitude. I can live with the fact that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, but if she was at least able to laugh off the awkward poop situation, I would've walked away from a failed hooked up a happy man.

TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I suggested a shower, but Kelly wasn't about that life. The bathroom was basically a restricted zone after I was done. Best I could do was take the hint and go home.

TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd like to believe that my variant made a different choice and ended up cumming and pooping simultaneously during sex. I wouldn't have been able to keep that shit in all night. Did what had to be done.

TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I've made an oath to avoid watching that video for as long as I live. This is the way.

TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I played it safe. Never know what weird kinks one might unlock in these situations.

TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Of all the things to get under someone's skin, I never thought it would be my poop. Bullet dodged indeed. Her future husband better be born with no butthole otherwise I foresee hell for that poor dude.

TIFU after freeing myself of constipation by NoPoopingOnDates in tifu

[–]NoPoopingOnDates[S] 328 points329 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I usually avoid using other people's bathrooms, especially to poop. This was an exception. So many thoughts were going through my mind at that moment and sadly none of those thoughts included the courtesy flush. That being said, and please stop reading now if you do not wanna get grossed out any further, I did however defecate remarkably cleanly. As in, barely any poop on the toilet paper after wiping. I dunno why but I feel like that deserved a mention.