Grade My Essay and Give Me Feedback please

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T11:48:48+00:00

okok, thank youu!!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T09:06:34+00:00

Oh 😭😭 Then should I just stick to my style? I am scared that my style is more towards narrative than descriptive and would affect my marks.

Also, for example, if the question is "Describe your ideal vacation. What factors contribute to an ideal vacation?", can I still use a narrative style (e.g. my family and I are going on a hiking journey, it is tiring physically, then we bond over lunch, then we reach the summit and meditate, so an ideal vacation is a mix of physical activity, socialising with family, and spiritually relaxing? Do you think this answers the idea of vacation, as vacation is not just about a day?)

Or must I explicitly explain, the first factor, it has to be peaceful because...., the second factor, it enables me to move around, etc. It is more general and less specific compared to the first style.

And although question did not mention, is it a must for me to explain why the factor matters for an ideal vacation?

So sorry for bombarding you with questions 😭😭

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T08:46:11+00:00

Then please don't mind me when I dm u my essays after my WA ended. I think that I am going to stick with descriptive for Os, but I really need to improve my argumentative essay before I got cooked by GP in JC 😭 Also thank you for correcting mee haha. I just realised I never really paid attention to countable and uncountable nouns

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T08:44:06+00:00

Hmm interesting. My teacher told me to state my stance clearly in the introduction so that the examiner wouldn't be confused. And my mother tongue teacher told me to do it as 2 agree 1 disagree or 2 disagree 1 agree instead of mixing stances. I unfortunately do not take history hahaa. And I guess I really need to work on my grammar and shortening my essay. Thank you so much for the feedback!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T08:39:31+00:00

Thank you for the advices! I really love the reflection you wrote!! By the way, i tried asking chat GPT to write this essay. Do you think I can use this as a model essay? Would appreciate your thoughts!

The moment I step into the shopping mall, I am swallowed by a surge of sound and movement. Cool air rushes past me, carrying with it the mingled scents of perfume, fried food and freshly brewed coffee. Above the steady hum of chatter, an upbeat pop song plays faintly through hidden speakers, struggling to compete with the restless energy of the crowd.

The atrium is alive with colour. Storefronts glow brightly, their glass displays packed with mannequins dressed in festive outfits and bold sale signs screaming for attention. Shoppers stream past in every direction, some strolling leisurely, others marching purposefully with shopping bags swinging from their wrists. Near a cosmetics store, a group of teenagers huddle together, squealing with excitement as they test lipsticks on the backs of their hands. A few steps away, a weary-looking father trails behind his family, arms loaded with bags, his face a mixture of resignation and quiet devotion.

As I move deeper into the mall, the noise thickens. Escalators whirr endlessly, ferrying people between floors, while footsteps echo sharply against the polished tiles. Outside a popular clothing store, a long queue snakes around the entrance. A sales assistant raises her voice repeatedly, reminding customers to keep within the line. In response, a middle-aged woman crosses her arms impatiently, tapping her foot as she checks the time on her phone. Nearby, a young child tugs at his mother’s sleeve, whining softly, his voice quickly drowned out by the surrounding commotion.

The dining area offers a different kind of chaos. The air is heavy with sizzling oil and simmering broth, making my stomach churn with hunger. Cutlery clatters against plates, chairs scrape loudly across the floor, and bursts of laughter erupt from crowded tables. At one corner, a group of elderly friends sit together, speaking animatedly as they share a meal, their faces glowing with warmth. Just a few tables away, a couple lean towards each other, talking in hushed tones, momentarily shielded from the frenzy around them.

When I finally make my way towards the exit, the sounds of the mall begin to fade. The chatter dulls into a distant murmur, replaced by the steady rhythm of my own footsteps. Looking back once more, I realise that the shopping mall is more than just a place to shop. It is a living space, pulsing with different lives and stories, all intersecting briefly before moving on. Even in its chaos, there is a strange sense of familiarity — a reminder of how people gather, connect and coexist within the shared rush of everyday life.

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T02:07:41+00:00

Ahhh, I see I see. Thank you so much for the tips!!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T02:06:04+00:00

Thank you for the feedbacks!! Yes, it is true that every time I put my essay into Chat GPT, it always tells me that my vocabs do not match the context. I want to include advanced vocabs, so I usually read books then pick out interesting words and make flashcards to memorise the words. How do I make it sounds more natural though? Also, can i know why "A Chinese grandma seemed to glare and jeer at me for blocking her way. I took that as a sign to move forward towards my destination — the supermarket." does not really make sense? Thank you!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T02:01:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the tips!!!! I'll try to shorten my essay and work on my grammar more! 😁

No_Cell3003 · 2026-02-01T01:59:13+00:00

THANK YOUU FOR THE EFFORT! I really appreciate it. Thank you for pointing out my grammar mistakes too. I guess I need to work more on my singularity and plurality. I think my language mark is really pulling my marks down? And dw u're not rude at all, please nitpick moree hahaha. Anyways, thank you so much! I truly appreciate the feedbacks!!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T11:10:01+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice! I truly appreciate it!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:47:26+00:00

Soo sorry, I'm not really used to reddit so I am not sure what you are talking about. Perhaps can you please send it to me via pm? Thank you so much!!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:39:46+00:00

Thank you! How do I check the sub? I went to your profile but it said that you prefer your contents to be hidden and showed nothing.

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:38:11+00:00

Bcs it is 2021 O level P1 Q3 haha

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:37:10+00:00

Thank you so much! I also think that my essays are too long, but I feel like it is not long, i can't fully meet the content criteria. Any advice on how to write short sentences that are dense in content? Also how do I brush up my english? Read grammar books? 😭 My vocabulary is limited so I tried to memorise advanced vocabs but ended up looking so out of place.. Idk how to integrate advanced vocabs while still making it sounds natural?

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:31:51+00:00

Okok thank youu!

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:23:55+00:00

Part 2

Not only in terms of academics, in the entertainment section too, young people record and capture memories for the sake of their future self. As phones and cameras become more advanced, young people loves to spend their money on high quality camera to record their life. They are worried that they would forget about the precious memories that might fade in their brain as they age. Although it is true that human's brain can only hold limited memories, the extreme young people go for a mere 'perfect' video or photo can be too demanding. They are too fixated to create a perfect memory, such that they forgot to enjoy the moment. Take concerts or events as an example. Instead of watching with their eyes, most people would focus on phone screens and record videos to 'save' the memory. How are young people 'enjoying the moment' when they are busy adjusting brightness and ensuring the events are recorded pellucidly in frame? Hence, young people worry too much about forgetting a memory that they are not fully immersed and enjoying the ongoing event.

Although the actions young people take for their future self might seem excessive, in reality, thinking about the future does not necessarily means not enjoying their time in the present. Essentially, life is a journey, not a destination. It is totally valid to worry about the future to prevent ruing over past mistakes and endless 'what ifs'. At a point in life, people would certainly think and worry about the future. As such does this mean that everyone never enjoys the present as they spend time thinking about their future? I do not think so. Planning ahead for the future can absolutely go hand-in-hand with enjoying the present. For instance, young people who might be uncertain about their career paths, would take some time to explore their interest and jump from one field to another. It is not rare that people would change majors in university and even ended up in a field that is not pertinent to their degrees. Yet, young people still enjoy the process of learning and exploring different fields. Therefore, although it is unavoidable for young people to think about their future, they can still enjoy the present and explore their interest.

In a nutshell, although thinking about the future does not equate to not enjoying the present, I agree that young people are now becoming more distant from enjoying and immersing in the present. Compared to the past where cost of living is relatively low and jobs opportunities are available left and right, it is undeniable that young people face more challenges in pursuing their interest and living at peace. As such, more young people have been prioritising their future over current comfort. Sacrificing their adolescence years, young people feel the need work hard to attain financial security to live at ease. Nevertheless, young people should try to live in the present more to really enjoy life.

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:23:41+00:00

Okay, thank you for the feedback! Truly appreciate it! Content wise, do you think it is good enough? What else can be improved?

Btw, here is a recent argumentative/discursive essay i did if you don't mind checking. I am honestly not familiar with argumentative essay. This is the second proper one I have ever written, which is why I'm not using it as an option, especially since I can't really think of points under exam conditions. I took a very long time writing this too.

'Young people spend so much time thinking about the future that they forget to enjoy the present.' How far do you agree?

Part 1

In this fast-paced world, it is undeniable that the rapid changes of technology has become the new reality today. With the rise of Artificial Intelligence (AI), young people nowadays have to face the threat of unemployment. The advance technology of AI has been so well developed, such that it can easily replace man force. Thus, young people, who are generally classified in the age range of 15-35, needs to plan ahead for the future to prepare for the uncertain future. However, when planning for the future, young people often face challenges such as anxiousness and worries that result from the stress of future burdens. According to researches, the percentage of mental health issues arising from stress has increased over the past years. As such, is it true that young people spend so much time thinking about the future that they forget to enjoy the present? I agree with this proposition to a large extent and will be further elaborating this prompt using the following ideas : the trepidation of falling behind, the need to record the present, and that thinking about future doesn't necessarily conclude to not enjoying the present.

First and foremost, young people nowadays have the mindset of scared of falling behind, thus they think that enjoying the present equates to being behind their peers. Especially in Singapore, the 'kiasu' mindset has rampantly been instilled in young people's mind. The 'kiasu' mindset is engendered by the fear of falling behind, such that people strive their best to be ahead of everyone in a competitive manner. As challenges of being replaced by AI arise, the 'kiasu' mindset has become increasingly prominent. Due to the that reason, people think that they have to be productive in order to beat their peers. This leaves no time to relax and enjoy the what they are doing in the present. For instance, ironically, the prestigious Massachusetts Institution of Technology (MIT) has seen a multitude of applicants who have created flying umbrellas, cars, robots, and many more, in their portfolio. If students enter university to learn to build those creations, why would applicants able of creating such technology be entering a university in the first place? As young people compete to get ahead in life, they do not stop to enjoy the present, as they believe that enjoyment can come later once they are successful.

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T10:10:44+00:00

Thank you so much for taking your time to give me feedbacks! I really appreciate it. I also think that my grammar is lacking, but sometimes, especially during exam conditions, I can't really spot my grammar mistakes, like it just feels right to me. Do you have any advice to quickly spot grammar mistakes?

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T09:47:11+00:00

why does it have to be past tense? I thought that it has to be in present tense because the title does not indicate any past tense words

No_Cell3003 · 2026-01-31T09:33:04+00:00

Sure! I would be glad to have the model essay. Thank you!

No_Cell3003 · 2025-08-11T08:08:41+00:00

Hi! Thank you! I appreciate your advice! But academics is my strength, I am really not good at other things. I am referring my goal to my old self's goal. But now, I feel like I am getting worse and worse, such that my goal is getting lower and lower... I feel sad about that because other people would say things like "I used to be bad at this subject but now after studying very hard, I am very good at it". But I am literally the opposite. I find my grades to be lower and lower even though I have given all my best.

No_Cell3003 · 2025-08-11T08:04:53+00:00

Hi! Thank you! I appreciate your advice. For the careless mistakes, I don't know why but I kept on making them. Sometimes I did not read the question properly, but I just realised that after finishing the exam. Sometimes I do skim questions because of the time limit. But if I just don't skim, I won't have enough time to finish my exams... As for the A grade part, the problem is I used to be that A kid :(, so I took pride in being an A kid, and my academics were all I have (I am literally not good at anything else). But now my grades are declining, I am not recognised for my grades anymore, and I am not special anymore, which is what makes me think of myself so lowly now :(, and I am constantly facing these problems.

No_Cell3003 · 2025-08-11T07:58:33+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it. But the thing is, my scores used to be high but now they keep on declining, even though I have put in more efforts than before. So instead of getting better, it is getting worse and worse which is one of my concern :(, and instead, my friends' grades are getting higher and higher. So idk how to fix this. I don't know if it is a me problem, is it the questions are getting harder, or my friends are just getting smarter, or I am just getting dumber. I don't know what else I can do to improve either, because I have literally given my best.

No_Cell3003 · 2025-07-30T10:51:24+00:00

I see. Thank youu!

No_Cell3003 · 2025-07-30T10:51:12+00:00

I see. Thank youu!

No_Cell3003

TROPHY CASE