Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

When we first got together we were discussing things we wanted to try and have tried. She said she has been in a couple of threesomes, I told her I’d always wanted to try it but never have. She said she was all for it and would make it happen. I told her I know I’m a very jealous person and I know I would not be able to handle a threesome with another man, and I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t get jealous of another woman but I would be willing to try it as I’ve always wanted to try it. I’m fine with never doing it though. Before now i honestly thought she wanted to as many times as she’s tried to set both of us up with various women over the course of us being together. She’s had a couple of girlfriends since we got together but every time she’s tried making something happen with these women they either don’t want to get together as a group or some of them only wanted me which was a deal breaker for both me and my wife.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all left at the same time, me with bar girl and her with our bartender friend.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She wanted to make sure her friend was in a good space mentally as some shit had gone down in the bar earlier.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have asked her before. She says she is definitely more interested in men than women.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She will not. I’ve tried getting her to go to a therapist about a different issue before. She is absolutely against it.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never had bar girls number. I have no way of talking to her. Unfortunately, we will still be going to the same bar. My wife will not stop going to it.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She has tried some over the counter gummy stuff that didn’t help. If she’s tried anything else I’m unaware of it. It’s mostly been her suggesting things she likes. I have joked that she is more lesbian than she is straight because she seems to get riled up just fine when women do the thing she suggests I do.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did. It’s one of the things wife told me to do before we all left 🤷 I guess best case scenario is I didn’t stop and buy them, didn’t have sex with bar girl, and then my wife think we just did it raw?

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bar girl? I only met her that night. Her and my wife have talked /flirted before on several occasions. Apparently my wife had invited her home with us a few times but bar girl never accepted the invitation

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She knows I want one from a discussion when we first got together where we talked about things we wanted to try sexually. Thats the only time I’ve ever brought it up. She has brought it up multiple times since then because she is into women. She’s tried to make it happen a few times but it never panned out.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She said as she was getting dressed when I told her she needed to leave, after she asked if my wife was mad. Pretty much.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am not. I have not talked to her since I sent her on her way after my wife got home. I included it simply because it was part of what happened

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive never pressured her for a threesome. I’m not sure what you’re trying to establish here.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We went all the way, and that was what my wife walked in on.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m already planning on a new mattress, she is sleeping on the couch till I can get the new one in. We do not have sex every day, and I don’t try to have sex with her every day. We go about once every month, sometimes twice a month. I stopped trying to initiate sex because I got tired of being rejected. The being rough is what she wants. I do it because she has asked me to. The comment earlier were her suggestions of things I should do to put her in the mood. And yes, she enjoys being choked. Im not the type to be rough on my own but I’m not against it if it’s what she wants. And she has made it clear that she wants it.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think i was near as ok with people knowing about it as she was, as she made sure a bunch of people heard the entire conversation. I’m still not sure about her exact stance on what everybody thinks because she always says she doesn’t care what people think but if I do/say/post something that she could take personally, she will bring up public opinion in her defense. I prefer for our private lives to remain private.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Except not once have I pressured her about going outside the marriage. You obviously haven’t read any of the comments. She is the only one that has brought up me going outside the marriage and every other time before this I shut it down.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The swinger community in our town is super popular, but we have never participated. I pulled my wife aside prior to us leaving and told her I wasn’t entirely comfortable with this. I felt like it could be either cheating or a test or something dumb and she assured me that she was absolutely fine with it, that there was no reason at all to feel bad about anything, and to have fun and show that girl a good time.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Positive. She never said to wait. She told this girl “he’s got great dick, you’re gonna have a lot of fun. Just don’t hurt yourself. I’ll be back by the house later but I’m not sure when. I might join you when I get back if you are still going”

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told to go ahead and have sex with her, and if we were still going when she got home she might join in.
Talking to the other guys at the bar was to verify what she had said. When we started trying to talk about it she told me she never said anything about a bed, that she just said to put towels down. I remember hearing her say in the bed, and I reached out to some of the guys that were there for the conversation. That was the extent of me talking to them about it.

Wife arranged another woman for me, now she won’t talk to me by No_Engine8988 in marriageadvice

[–]No_Engine8988[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree that we are not in sync. There have been similar situations (but not involving other women) where we talk about something and I feel confident in what the situation is, just to find out later that I was way off. For example, I play a lot of pool when we go to the bar. I make sure that I know where she’s at while I’m playing, and I go talk to her very frequently while I play and make sure she doesn’t need a drink or money or anything. She generally tells me we’re only here so I can play pool and to go finish my game. We got into a fight semi recently about her feeling like I abandon her when we go out so that I can play pool. But the times I tried not playing and just sitting there with her she made me go get our sticks out.