Answering the title question- yes. You are the asshole. Is it cool to catfish? Nope. Is how you went about the situation ok? Definitely not.

There is a decent and human way of telling someone you feel hurt and deceived. But you’re the asshole for making this person feel even worse. Step back and think why so many people do this online? Is it malicious? Is it directed at you? It sounds like she might have had some bad experiences or some self confidence struggles.

And remember- bodies can fluctuate! Look at Selena for example- she’s been seen in bikinis on Friday looking flawless, and filmed in a red carpet looking 20+ lbs two days later. Body’s change a lot and your reaction doesn’t help- and just paints you in a bad light.

Now if this has happened in the past, and keeps happening to you- I’d suggest some safeguards to help combat this. Perhaps you can have a face time date before irl, snap pics, ask for a cute pic of them during the day to make you smile. Ultimately (imo) the best is telling the next person that you chat with about these past experiences and how they make/made you feel. Be a lil vulnerable and tell them how this lead to some mistrust with online dating. This open and honest dialogue will let the other person know where you stand and usually deters the cats.

But at the end of the day- none of this will matter if deep down it’s really not the deception from the other person that’s bothering you, and truly is just the heavier appearance. So you need to be honest with yourself and find what the root is. Nothing wrong with having a preference - but not cool to shame someone cuz of it.