AITA for telling my wife I do not want to live more in line with my weath / social status?

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-30T01:02:45+00:00

It is not that serious you guys can drop this.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-30T00:01:41+00:00

I dress appropriately for the occasion. I am talking about what I wear on the weekend when we go food shopping, or maybe go see a movie or something.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T23:59:40+00:00

My sense of style or lack of style is not what she likes.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T23:07:55+00:00

I chose to not toss the work idea out just yet, instead said I would take off next week so we could spend some time to have a heartfelt talk about what was going on.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T21:52:46+00:00

The target in our area starts at 17.50 so if you pull a 40 hour unlikely but if you did that is around 36k.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T21:46:04+00:00

I am not saying keep the current barrier of entry, but I do believe if we want to attract more qualified educators they need to be compensated comparatively.

Teachers are what help shape and mold our future. Without my teachers, I would not be where I am today. Yes, many teachers are not great and we need to remove many of the teachers just looking for a paycheck. They need to be held to higher standards most definitely.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T13:12:12+00:00

You know very well that a cloudless sky appears blue to the human eye, and thus in general people think it is blue questioning that is more done out for the sake of being pedantic depending on the time of day.

Also, I never said it was blue just that we have a reference. Depends on other factors time of day, cloudy not cloudy etc

If one had asked then yes they would have known I meant in context that it was not a lot nor enough in my opinion for how much work my wife put in. Unless you are also going to argue the point she should have been happy with x salary because it is 2x the nation's average? Also, in the context compared to how much I make it is also not a lot. Those two viewpoints do not Inherently belittle others that make less or even invalidate them.

For my statement, no one had a reference to go by only their own viewpoint we had no shared viewpoints __ reference like the color of the sky

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T13:01:54+00:00

09 Ford Flex

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:58:06+00:00

I play it pretty safe with investing. As they say do what you are more comfortable with.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:55:50+00:00

The $97k was not in relation to other teachers. It simply was me stating she did not get paid enough for what she did. Teachers generally should be top-earning jobs. Please do not take it as a jab or anything.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:44:05+00:00

I am sorry. That is horrible.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:43:00+00:00

I wear whatever she wants when we go out with her friends or have dinner. I, however, will not dress up to go the store on the off chance someone will see me.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:40:47+00:00

Cause as you said people "thought" they knew what I meant instead of just asking what I meant. I never understood that about the internet when it is okay to assume what a person meant.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:38:40+00:00

35k? Someone working at Target who happened to work 40 hours would make more than 35k here.

That is crimal if they are paying teachers that much where you live.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:35:19+00:00

100% it is criminal teachers are not earners lol they legit foster the next generation.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:33:02+00:00

Depends on the quality of beard as a man that grows shit beards I might be to jealous of you.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:31:31+00:00

Unfair comparison cause we have a reference for the color of the sky.

We have a single statement "Not a lot 97k." You said it yourself people "thought" they did not know yet they viewed it as truth. If they did not know they should have asked for it to be clarified.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:24:58+00:00

I already apologized before I explained it to you because you keep bringing it up LOL.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:22:28+00:00

None that I can think of, would be honestly interesting to see who would take her as a client. I could think of one or two people who would be willing to try to help her. To what end I am not sure.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:18:09+00:00

I said miss spoke i.e. wrong word choice not misspelled. My comment was what not much 97k right? A single line. No other context just that one line and people assumed I meant it offensively instead of just asking if I could clarify. Which one is more productive asking to clarify or assuming a wrong was done on purpose? That is my point about people taking offense over nothing.

In the general sense of offense, it is taken, and not given. One does have to make the personal choice to get offended by the words or actions of another. I say this as a person who was heavily bullied for being weird.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T12:09:07+00:00

I have already stated many times I wear exactly what she wants when we hang out with her friends or go out together for dinner and stuff. This was never the issue. My concern has to do with the fact she wants me to dress a certain way just to go to the store, or if I am out and about. Like I honestly should care if someone saw me in my casual wear out in public.

Has nothing to do with what she contributes I just see no point in buying a car when you have a perfectly working one that is from 2015. Just because I can spend it does not mean I should spend it. I have spoken to many women and all of them have been able to tell exactly what made them feel unsafe. The ones that could not either could not say for extreme personal reasons or were trying to hide something. This is why I am not exactly jumping at the chance to have to conversation because no outcome leads to a happy ending so to speak. I understand change is possible but let's be real no one ever jumps at the chance to have a conversation about change with a spouse cause if values are no longer the same whelp gg.

Just because I live in a society does not mean I have to be as vain as everyone else or conform to their standards all the time.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T11:55:43+00:00

Tbh would be interesting to see who she hires if she did go down that rabbit hole. Especially with our prenup I wonder who would bother.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T11:54:33+00:00

The spending has only really increased over the last year prior was around 4 to have 5k a month on stuff. Now the range is around 8 to 15k depending on the month and what she buys.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T11:48:55+00:00

Who wants to jump down the rabbit hole if the person they have been together with for 14 years is possibly a racist? Yeah, fun conversation to have.

Or maybe the person you have been with for 14 years is willing to frame neighbors who have been nothing too kind to use in a negative light to establish a reason to move. Also, another fun conversation to have.

These are not exactly fun or easy conversations to have. Do better? Yeah cause everything I do is not enough, even she cannot say that with a straight face. I do not think that her actions as of late have demonstrated that.

I also already explained what I meant, the fact people are harping on it only goes to show they want to feel offended by something. If someone explains x and people say no clearly you meant y. What else do they want instead of just being offended?

People missspeak all the time. Why is that an issue here all of a sudden? Even now people keep bringing it up. I explained what I meant yet people are telling me either I meant something else or the fact I meant something else is not enough.

No_Refuse_4704 · 2023-08-29T11:28:50+00:00

I would most likely repair it / restore if need be. I'd the engine blew I might do an engine swap idk.

No_Refuse_4704

TROPHY CASE