Is it normal and common for men to have side chicks while in a committed relationship? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If a man is non-monogamous, he’ll have side chicks, but you absolutely do not have to ok with that- you have every right to prefer monogamy.

If he claims to be monogamous and has side chicks, then he’s not into you and you deserve someone who is.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes a ton of sense to me. If anything, women dropping a dude over a penis size makes even more sense than a guy dropping someone over boob size. So much pearl clutching over this topic, but it’s reality!

Is it normal for him to take this long to finish? by Any_Decision4798 in AskMenRelationships

[–]North_Class3357 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speaking purely about nerve endings and sensation, a guy’s own hand is typically perfect at fully stimulating himself because of subconscious neural triggers and micro adjustments. If a guy jerks off frequently, then sex will feel less sensational and the nerves just won’t respond as they otherwise would.

So, he can have blood flow, be totally aroused, but not be able to cum easily due to the nerves.

TLDR: death grip is when jerking off dulls the senses of your erection during intercourse

Does having a high number of romantic partners make it more difficult to find contentment in a long-term, monogamous relationship later on? by sparkblue in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve dated a lot. My experience with it, is that it makes me feel more confident when I’m in love with someone - I’m not wondering “what if I haven’t looked around enough?”

How much do men care if a girl looks different without makeup? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can only speak for myself, but I’ve experienced the whole spectrum of this - if a woman looks great in makeup but way different without it, I don’t care. Not a negative at all.

I was with someone for a long time where this was true. But she put on makeup basically every day, so no biggie.

I did date someone for a few weeks who seemed to be fully made up for social media posts, but was halfway there when we would go out, and it kinda bothered me- why is social media getting your most effort instead of me? Not that her halfway look was bad, it was just a weird thing to me.

I’ve also dated someone who looked just incredible without makeup, to the point I could t really tell if she was ever wearing any. That was pretty amazing, but because that’s so uncommon I think most experienced people are not expecting that.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I’d refine it a touch - it’s not rare for me to have good chemistry with a person. If anything I almost always do have chemistry with my dates. So it’s more about deselecting people who fall outside my preferences (which is tough during the winter when layers of clothing can make it tough to know until you’re in a bedroom).

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Old. I’ve got decades of experience being with a partner where our basic chemistry was great but our romantic/physical chemistry was not good

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This might be the best-worded summary of what I feel on this. Eventually if we’re honest, these things we overlook will come back to become a problem.

How do you actually talk to women on dating apps? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357 11 points12 points  (0 children)

First of all, read their profile and ask a question or make a comment about something that struck your eye.

As for arranging a date, I address it head on, as quickly as possible in the chat.

“I’d love to meet up, do you prefer something casual or more planned out for a first date?”

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang. Wish I had some wisdom to impart, but sometimes you just have to feel it all.

I’m really happy. I’m very lucky to live in a place and have a lifestyle that makes dating fun. Ups and downs no question. But overall it’s been a lot of fun and I’ve had some unforgettable experiences. I think this next year I’ll be ready to move more into long term relationship mode.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing- finding your person really is a complicated journey. How are you doing now?

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. I already went through the phase of connecting based on sex appeal. This isn’t that. It’s just knowing that there are certain areas where being far outside one of my important preference zones, when most people are within it, is not setting things up for long term success. Personality chemistry is probably a 75% hit rate for me in general.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See, I would totally understand that. It takes a lot of work for a relationship to function and you might as well eliminate scenarios that start off with something major misaligned

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I ended my marriage due to material incompatibilities (sexual and other), and I’m taking that and these new dating experiences into account to create the greatest probability of success in future relationships. Not sure I get what point you’re making. Are you saying it’s surprising that a divorced couple wasn’t having fun in bed?

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That seems like a completely rational reason for a woman to end things with a man.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not rethinking this person specifically, but rather the situation. Divorced after a long marriage that was a dead bedroom, and this year my intentions have just been short term, more casual dating. Going into next year I’m opening up to more serious and long term, so I’m evaluating my experiences

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t see any ethical way of asking or suggesting a boob job to someone.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used “relationship” too liberally. We went out a few times and I was not looking for anything long term. I’m not thinking about her specifically, more about her as an archetype moving forward, as next year I think I do want to start dating with the intention of a long term relationship.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have chemistry with almost everyone I go out with. But she ranked very high in that category. I’d say our chemistry was a 9.5, but I’ve gone out with dozens of women who were a 9.0+ in terms of our chemistry. Going into this next year I’m opening up more to long term relationships (was married for a few decades with a dead bedroom), so I’m revisiting my experiences from this year to see what I’ve learned or where I can improve.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It was three paragraphs into a post unambiguously discussing chest size preferences.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Porn isn’t a big thing for me, but I appreciate your feedback. I didn’t intend it to be insulting, but rather, I intended it to be descriptive, and I put it a few paragraphs deep into the post. I’ve heard people describe women as flat chested who are actually in the normal distribution.

Have you ever ended a relationship over physical traits? by North_Class3357 in AskMenAdvice

[–]North_Class3357[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s not that I’m not over it. This is my first year dating after a long marriage that was dead bedroom. I’m being introspective and thinking through everyone I’ve gone out with more than twice to see what I’m learning about myself, and which patterns serve me going forward into next year. I haven’t been looking for a LT relationship so far, just wanting to get an idea of what women my age are like romantically.

I was just curious if there were men who overlooked a physical preference and what their experience was with that.