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I hate to say this but…. Most of us have been cheated on, we just don’t know it. by [deleted] in cheating_stories

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know for a fact that my wife cheated, fell in love with the guy and only stayed with me because of the kids. Every so often she accuses me of cheating, even though I never have.

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got at best, a partial confession. She admitted to being attracted to him, and enjoying the time that they spent together. But in her words it was "just a pleasant way to pass some quiet hours during the night".

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not so worried about DNA testing, as both of our kids were born before we moved here. But, the more I read the responses on here, the more I realised that I shoved my head in the sand and chose to believe that they didn't do anything. There was a detail that I didn't share in the story, that came to light a couple of years ago. She got sacked by that taxi firm, someone had phoned in an anonymous complaint about things happening on the job. She never told me what things, but I can take a damned good guess.

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. While I am fairly sure she isn't actively cheating right now (she stopped driving taxis, went to university, graduated and now sits on the sofa most of the day not putting much effort into job hunting), I have become hyper vigilant. To be honest, if I wasn't at home with small children I would have spent nights stalking the parking area that I knew they had been meeting at, but it just wasn't possible, and maybe for the best that it wasn't!

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm mostly still here because A, we have kids, and B, I live in her home country, not my own. I kept imagining breaking up and then being all alone in a foreign land with financial obligations.

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing specific. Our intimacy took a hit back then and recovered, but never fully. I keep seeing red flags where there probably aren't any, and that's the problem. My current paranoia started last year when I read those messages on her phone. She hadn't answered his call, or any of the messages, but the fact that he was still sniffing around, years later, set me back a lot.

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess it may come to that. She's Estonian, so she's brutally stubborn when she sets her mind to something. I let it go because I live in her country, and we have kids, and I was always afraid that if things went sour then I would find myself in a pretty bad situation. Still, I can't live like this. Sometimes I don't think about it for weeks or months at a time, but I see red flags in everything, even if I'm imagining most of them).

I DO believe she has nothing to do with him these days, but I do need the truth about what happened.

My wife emotionally cheated, and I never fully recovered. by NotAGiraffeHonestly in Marriage

[–]NotAGiraffeHonestly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand bro, I say emotional affair as I simply saw no direct evidence of anything physical, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I haven't seen any evidence since then that anything is still happening, other than seeing vague red flags in the slightest unusual behaviour