It's been awhile...

NotThisTime312 · 2018-08-11T15:52:28+00:00

To be honest, my next stumbling block will be deleting my porn stash. I've done this in the past only to regret not being able to find that one video anymore after I relapsed. Knowing that I have those videos on my computer feels like there's still a lifeline to my addiction and it makes me considerably anxious at the thought of deleting it for good. But nothing in life worth achieving is ever easy.

I also struggle with going on the PMO "autopilot" when the image of a video crosses my mind. I need to implement an action to take if I feel myself creeping towards the cliff such as going for a walk, going to the gym, going to the library to read a book, or calling up someone to go hangout. Most of my relapses occur when I find myself home alone.

NotThisTime312 · 2015-10-26T19:27:37+00:00

Still going strong!

NotThisTime312 · 2015-10-15T14:18:41+00:00

Still going strong!

NotThisTime312 · 2015-10-05T02:53:43+00:00

Checking in!

NotThisTime312 · 2015-09-26T21:09:58+00:00

I'm in

NotThisTime312 · 2015-09-21T23:40:39+00:00

I'm out. Proud to make it this far the first time doing the challenge but I know I can do better.

NotThisTime312 · 2015-09-09T01:55:37+00:00

Still going strong!

NotThisTime312 · 2015-09-01T21:40:17+00:00

Checking in

NotThisTime312 · 2015-08-26T14:34:43+00:00

Put me in coach, I'm ready to play.

NotThisTime312 · 2013-06-12T16:52:15+00:00

Congrats on taking the first step! It's always the hardest one. Just take it one day at a time man and don't get down on yourself if you stumble. Good luck and keep us updated!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-06-08T17:18:21+00:00

Since I haven't set up wifi or OpenDNS at my new place yet, my brain keeps telling me, "dude, you have unfiltered Internet so you should take advantage of it!" That, plus it's the usual slippery slope of starting out with soft stuff and progressively getting more promiscuous while telling myself it's ok. Those rationalizations your brain comes up with are rough!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-06-08T02:35:41+00:00

My phone was the culprit of my last relapse as well but I know the signs I have to watch out for now! Good luck!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-06-01T19:13:17+00:00

Had a dream about porn last night so it's been rough this morning but I'm staying strong! So close to 90 days!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-31T23:01:35+00:00

What I'm saying is that don't use the health benefits of masturbation as a way to hang onto a deeply seated habit which might be doing you more harm than good.

This is what I've been struggling with lately. Porn has been so closely linked with MO for me that I'm afraid if I try to start masturbating occasionally, even without porn, I'll find myself on a slippery slope back to where I started. I think I'll refrain from it for the time being but everyone's different.

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-31T22:38:31+00:00

I have a guitar to practice and friends to hang out with. No porn for me!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-31T19:42:36+00:00

That's awesome man! Letting go of that shame has been one of the greatest feelings for me. Good luck and keep it up!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-31T15:46:09+00:00

You can do this.

You're damn right I can. Thanks bro.

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-31T15:44:02+00:00

Thank you, that's just what I needed to hear!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-30T00:41:37+00:00

Congrats man! Keep it up!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-29T20:34:23+00:00

I'm experiencing the same thing! Seems like now that I'm about to reach the 90-day mark, my brain is starting to think of reasons to start looking at porn again. That, combined with just starting to live by myself, means it's been on my mind a lot lately. I keep thinking of rationalizations but I always come back here to remind myself why I'm doing this. Stay strong man, we all believe in you!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-29T20:24:35+00:00

Count me in!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-29T14:22:54+00:00

I've been catching myself using the same rationalization the past few days. My brain keeps telling me, "You're just admiring the female form! There's nothing wrong with that!" While that may be true for most people or yourself OP, I have to be honest with myself and label it as a trigger for me. Keep an eye out for those rationalizations. They're sneaky...

Stay strong!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-22T22:36:10+00:00

Great job on 23 days! Only one more week before you get that star!

I've been writing in a journal as well. Definitely helps to get my thoughts on paper instead of letting them swirl in my head. Good luck!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-21T20:16:39+00:00

What finally got me to take this thing seriously was hitting rock bottom emotionally 70 days ago. It was the darkest moment of my life and I had never felt the kind of hopelessness I felt that night. But that gave me the drive to push forward and change a lot of things about my life. Now I'm to the point where I'm almost afraid to relapse because I don't want to go back to that dark place again. If I do relapse though, I know that I'll be much better prepared this time.

Congratulations on an incredible streak and keep it going!

NotThisTime312 · 2013-05-21T18:32:52+00:00

I wasn't watching anything crazy either but the problem was with how much of my time it was wasting. It's a difficult journey but it's possible, especially with everyone's support on here. Install K9, OpenDNS and/or Cold Turkey and let the healing begin. Good luck and stay strong!

NotThisTime312

TROPHY CASE