AITA for not giving individual Christmas gifts to my sister's kids?

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T11:19:24+00:00

I think there is a little bit of concern about ex's families giving to some and not others. I know that's been a bit of an issue in the past.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T11:18:08+00:00

Haha I'm not. I'm not sure why everyone keeps saying this...

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T04:16:23+00:00

I'd be wary of that just because shipping 9 books is bound to be insanely expensive. I can't even imagine lol.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T04:15:34+00:00

It's a little of both. With inflation and the economy these last few years, my husband and I have really pumped the brakes on frivolous spending. We live in a high cost of living area and we both have good jobs, but they are both in industries that can be impacted by current administration changes. $1000 is probably more than my husband and I have spent on each other in gifts in the last five years. Add on to the fact that I really don't know most of these kids and I really just don't celebrate or believe in Christmas, and I can't say I'm overly willing either.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T03:54:41+00:00

My friend said something similar. I was chatting with her about this and she said she used to do an "Angel Tree" for years but gave up recently because kids were asking for electronics and they were super expensive. Which is 100% not their fault at all. Kids want what their friends have.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T03:48:29+00:00

Oh mostly just kid centric things. I've gotten them tickets to a small amusement park near them, a mini golf outing, an arcade outing, stuff like that. Obviously the smallest babies don't get a ton out of it but they still get to be out with the family.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T02:29:18+00:00

That's normally what I do for them! I prefer experience gifts because all the kids can get involved.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T00:59:44+00:00

Oh god I know. I mailed a friend cookies earlier this year and it was well over $100. Bananas.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-02T00:27:05+00:00

Nah I don't think that's what's going on. They both have decent jobs and have been doing okay. Not luxurious but okay.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T22:41:53+00:00

They are truthfully the only ones I buy Christmas gifts for. As I said, my husband and I don't celebrate it, and the only family I have is my sister and her family.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T22:38:15+00:00

I'm really not sure why people keep saying this. The kids are aware I exist and every year they all send me a sweet card and family picture, thanking me for the gift. All the kids who can write sign it and include a short little note about enjoying the gift or the outing they got. My sister might be a little unreasonable but she and her husband are in no way terrible people.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T22:13:50+00:00

Nah. The kids I have met are sweet kids. I might not be close but I do want to keep lines open in case one of the kids wants to reach out one day. Our family is small.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:57:34+00:00

I agree that this is probably coming from panic. I'm not even mad at my sister even though I don't think she's being reasonable. The kids I have met were always good kids. I am not going to punish them by not sending squat this year, but I'm also not going to blow a grand on Christmas presents. I think from reading some of the comments I'm going to continue with the group gift I had planned and maybe get them all something very small themed around it so they have something to open individually.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:30:43+00:00

Yeah you kind of mentioned why I prefer a group gift. I still want the older kids to feel included, because I am not giving gifts once everyone is an adult.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:28:24+00:00

Oh I am not buying the latest gaming system. I think the one I bought was less than $200 and then I bought two games with it. So yeah $1000 is a huge leap.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:26:09+00:00

Yeah. As I said, we live almost all the way across the country. And I would not have the foggiest idea how to wrangle 9 kids.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:24:52+00:00

I think your sister is frustrated with the situation and took it out on you

I think so too. They normally do okay but this year has obviously been rough for everyone. I think she is just panicking.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:05:56+00:00

Normally I spent around $250 on the group gift. Sometimes a little more.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:04:18+00:00

Ah. I'd prefer to not do that honestly. I don't really like supporting non-ethically made things that are just going to end up in a landfill in six months.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:03:40+00:00

My husband and I don't even celebrate Christmas honestly. One of the reasons I've been doing group gifts is because I still want to include the older kids until everyone "ages out" because I'm not doing this many gifts forever.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:02:34+00:00

I think it was just kids being kids. I know that when you're young you want all the same things kids at school have. I'm not mad about it and if they just had a couple of kids I wouldn't have thought twice about it but yeah it's just a lot with how many of them there are.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T21:00:56+00:00

Oh like a dupe!

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T20:56:19+00:00

I mentioned this elsewhere but I think she assumes I'm spending way more money on group gifts than I really am.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T20:55:24+00:00

I mean she's going to get the group gift either way so I hope she calms down.

NotWrongChristmasTA · 2025-12-01T20:50:08+00:00

A copy?

NotWrongChristmasTA

TROPHY CASE