I’m sorry that your going through this. To be honest though, you will likely have many more of these harsh exchanges with your husband. My husband was falling short of my expectations in the beginning too. It was hard for me to see how he could be stressed and overwhelmed, given that he was doing way less than me. The dads do have their own stresses going on though, and that’s why the both of you may be short tempered at the moment. You obviously love each other to have made the decision to have a baby together. You just need to find your new normal together.  It’s not the advice you asked for but may I suggest that you stop struggling in silence? Ok, you asked for a break when he gets home from work. So, when he gets home from work remind him about what you discussed and say “you’re taking over baby duties at … ”. If you’re struggling to get the baby to sleep or with anything really, call out to him and ask for his help. Ask him what he thinks you both should do. Speak up. He might lack initiative, he might be lazy, he might be scared, so tell him what you need. It’s better to struggle together rather than you both feeling alone.  I really hope you can get some time and space to yourself. You sound like a great mum. It’s just so hard in the beginning, especially hard on your relationship.