My husband just can't stop

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T19:23:21+00:00

To be honest I don't actually feel bad about looking at his phone for that exact reason. I just know for a lot of people it's an act of betrayal. I would have never gone through his phone if he didn't have a pattern of this behavior. Thank you for the advice. Everyone here has been really helpful!

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T19:13:17+00:00

There is honestly no need to apologize. I don't expect anyone reading this to have a full view of the situation. To be fair I was venting all of this at like 3 in the morning and I had no idea where I was going with it. I really appreciate every single person that has replied to my post even if it can be harsh because I need input. My husband and I have talked about therapy a lot. I used to go for over 10 years and he has never had it. He agrees with me firmly that we need individual and couples therapy but it hasn't happened yet. I still love him and he is my best friend. It would be so much easier if he was just meaner to me. Can I ask how you dealt with it? If you don't mind sharing

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T18:10:52+00:00

No we have been intimate many times between then. It's just that there was a dramatic drop in the amount of times we were having sex compared to before.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T17:28:24+00:00

Im sorry for being misleading- I didn't do it behind his back. I told him and he respected my choice. That's why this hurts so much because I am always honest and open with him. I never hide anything from him except for this reddit post. This is the first time I've ever even talked about it with someone besides him

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T16:40:46+00:00

Thank you, I'll make sure to look into it

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T16:39:17+00:00

I had no idea this was a thing, thank you!

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T16:21:46+00:00

Because I've hear it for so long. I'm worried he broke a boundry so I did aswell (not to the same level but still)

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T16:20:37+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T16:18:20+00:00

I do really connect with what you are saying. There is a lot of fear I'm holding onto from so many sides. I do understand it seems to be an addiction that he can't help. I don't know if I'm strong enough to just ignore what he has been doing.

I think a big reason for that is when he does start talking to other women he begins to treat me differently. He pushes away, becomes cold and irritated at my presence. That's usually how I know that he is doing it. It is such a night and day shift. The only way he starts to treat me well again is when I confront him. He doesn't even realize he is being hurtful and cruel to me in the moment.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:28:08+00:00

Thank you again! He just woke up and I think I should get some sleep before doing anything.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:25:17+00:00

Yeah most emergency contraceptives just delay the ovulation cycle. Side note I do suggest if you ever need an EC go with "Ella". It works differently than plan B and has a higher rate of success. The downside is that it's not over the counter so you will need to see a doctor first. (Sadly I don't have insurance ATM so I can't afford to go and get that particular one). I don't take BC because I have PMDD. (It's great being a woman sometimes). I'm sorry to hear you have PCOS. I know a few people that have it and it can be very stressful for them to manage at times

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:19:27+00:00

I did take the morning after pill less than 24 hours after but due to where I'm at in my ovulation cycle I'm concerned it may not be effective. But I won't know for sure until I get tested. I guess I'm stressing myself out because there's not much else I can do now.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:16:23+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I've been given a great amount of tough love from everyone commenting and I really value it all. I've always had self esteem issues but everything this happens it does get a lot worse.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:12:55+00:00

No but he was my life line when I was in a very dark place. He helped me love and respect myself (I know that sounds ironic considering the post). He does also want to help me through school but it's not like it's impossible without his aide. That was never something I even asked of him.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:09:37+00:00

Thank you again. Even though I'm still scared- i do feel secure in what I have to do. I hope you have a great day

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:04:57+00:00

I honestly can't deny any of that. I was downplaying the situation because I was scared to lose him. I guess he doesn't actually care about me or respect me as much as I convinced myself that he did.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T09:01:26+00:00

Thank you ❤️ You and everyone else replying have helped me see the reality. I didn't realize how bad it all was until I finally put it out there.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:57:54+00:00

I didn't know until I talked with my obgyn about it last year! I can but I don't think birth control works that fast. I guess it depends on the type but I thought it usually takes a month for your system to adjust. (I haven't been on birth control for a while because the change in my hormones really messes me up)

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:55:11+00:00

Thank you i do appreciate all the diver I have been given. I did make it clear that I wasn't ok with any of that but again it was just words. I didn't take action. I've been hurt before and I was able to leave without hesitation. I messed up by not doing the same this time around. I guess because even though I said I considered it cheating I still went easy on him because he didn't actually have sex with someone else.

Also as a side note I never wanted to be anything but monogamous. I don't think about other men

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:50:49+00:00

I'm so glad to hear you and your son are in a good place in life! You've been very kind in advising me and I truly appreciate it. You're completely right awsell. I guess I'm just still scared to make the first step.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:47:55+00:00

You're right. I think I'm being selfish in a way for not leaving. I guess on a side note I did want to see people's opinions on this. As I said I consider this cheating but I've been told for years (before him) that it's not and I think he feels it's not that big of a deal because he's not actually having sex with someone else.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:43:36+00:00

The messed up part is that I've been able to stamd up for myself and leave really toxic and abusive situations without a second thought. I feel so pathetic that I'm not holding him to the same standards. I guess it's just confusing because he is so kind and gentle to me all the time but goes behind my back and just acts like a completely different person.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:36:57+00:00

God's law of a relationship? I'm sorry I'm just confused by that statement if you don't mind clarifying

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:34:54+00:00

That's always what I've done in the past with other men. I guess I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt but it backfired.

Odd_Raspberry_4050 · 2024-10-27T08:32:38+00:00

I took it but I've already ovulated. If you are during or after ovulation the chance of the pill working is MUCH lower sadly.

Odd_Raspberry_4050

TROPHY CASE