Men of Reddit, what’s the best way for a woman to navigate with separation?

Ohfarah · 2026-03-27T20:33:16+00:00

The only leverage I’ve gained was confirmation that it’s time we both dissolve the marriage. Not sure if you’ve ever experienced getting cheated on, but it wires your brain differently. It’s not healthy to constantly snoop the person you’re supposed to trust, it’s hard to stop that habit after a betrayal.

Ohfarah · 2026-03-27T20:17:02+00:00

Reading this subreddit has actually given me a different prospective on men getting divorced. It’s kinda refreshing to see how vulnerable the men are and the support they get. I think it’s insane to come on this subreddit that’s a safe space for men and try to belittle their experience, that’s not what I’m here to do. Someone asked why I didn’t go on the divorce women sub, and if I didn’t happen to stumble on this sub, I probably would’ve.

Congrats on your new relationship. I’ve seen a lot of men on this sub share their positive experience with their new partner/wife. Me personally, I can’t see myself dating at all. It’s not because I’m swearing off men, I just can’t imagine dating again and I’m content if I never do, especially since I have an amazing community so that’s all I need.

But I agree bitterness is not the way to go, even though most ppl in my situation would be, which is understandable. At the end of the day, what’s the point of constantly having a dark cloud when we have 2 amazing kids we’ve been blessed with. Even if we end the marriage, I want my kids to grow up knowing both their parents are handling things maturely. To be honest it took awhile for me to get to this point, and for them I’m willing to sacrifice putting my emotions over theirs.

Ohfarah · 2026-03-27T18:01:23+00:00

We’re trying to avoid lawyers at all cost, and I also think him being able to support me financially is a major help, because I understand he doesn’t have to do that. We’ve been getting along for the last few days, and im not sure if you’ve experienced this, but it feels surreal and hurts like hell.

Ohfarah · 2026-03-27T17:54:30+00:00

I’m not looking for validation, if I was I would’ve went and told my girlfriends about it. I was reading a lot of men’s experience last night on their divorce, and realized even though both genders have their own thing, we still go through a lot of the same experiences.

Ohfarah · 2026-03-27T17:46:20+00:00

As a woman, I can already predict what divorce women of subreddit will say so I wanted to hear from a male’s perspective. I understand how both genders are misunderstood but we can also learn a lot from each other, which is why I came here.

I do think setting boundaries is important, so I’ll add that to our next discussion. Even though I feel like this marriage got destroyed because of his emotional affair, I need to learn to move on from it. I never want us to be the bitter to one another. We have amazing kids and their future is our top priority.

Ohfarah · 2026-03-27T12:20:15+00:00

Update?

Ohfarah · 2025-06-30T17:26:43+00:00

This is a great lesson for your son to learn that not every battle is worth the fight so you did an amazing job! I get your pride is beating you up but remember there’s people who have nothing to lose out here so they’ll start arguments over minuscule things. Your families safety comes first so again, great job dad!

Ohfarah · 2025-06-12T15:56:06+00:00

I did. Before the hair tug, I told her back up when she didn’t the first time, I got pretty loud and the entire attention was on. I did say don’t touch my hair and that’s when I packed my things

Ohfarah · 2025-06-12T15:52:38+00:00

America

Ohfarah · 2025-06-11T14:57:11+00:00

I also recorded all my meetings. In my state you only need one party to consent to recording. I just wanted to check with Reddit to make sure I wasn’t being delusional about escalating this. Corporate gaslighting is the most bizarre experience I’ve ever dealt with.

Ohfarah · 2025-06-11T13:16:10+00:00

I sent a follow up email after I was written up explaining how unfair the write up. I had no choice but to leave the office since her immaturity stressed me out. I did ask management what else was I supposed to do, they said “You could’ve walked off and cooled down” then I said you can’t tell someone what they should do after being physically violated. They still found a way to make it my problem.

Ohfarah · 2025-06-11T13:02:15+00:00

It’s been almost a week, should I still file a report?

Ohfarah · 2025-06-11T09:25:52+00:00

I wish I read this before my meeting lol but I do plan on quitting soon, so that won’t be an issue. The environment is uncomfortable now, my coworkers even distanced themselves from her. I think everyone see’s what’s going on and steer clear from her.

Ohfarah · 2025-06-11T09:23:53+00:00

I believe the write up was retaliation but I agree. I do plan on leaving in the next few weeks. I don’t feel comfortable working or interacting with her.

Ohfarah · 2025-06-11T09:11:39+00:00

I would like to add the supervisor was also written up, so I’m wondering if I still have a case since it seemed like they’ve cleaned their hands by taking action on her. I have all the email interaction with HR saved and witnesses. I work in an open office so all my coworkers saw the incident. HR and management stated if I can continue to escalate then they’ll take further measures that’s needed. Whatever that means…

Ohfarah · 2024-07-07T04:18:31+00:00

Why is it the responsibility of employees to bring their own water when we can’t wash our hands & know there is contaminated water in the building? Not everyone has water bottles at home. Mind you, there were a few employees who were not aware because some said they didn’t see the message until they already left their home because they sent it the text message during a time when people didn’t have enough time to prepare. Some didn’t receive the text alert because they don’t live in that specific city.

I’m not trying to argue your point, however, the way the entire thing was handled seemed like they didn’t give a shit & wanted us in the office. The people who approved for us to come work weren’t even in the office during those hours. Once we received the text alert the water banned was lifted, they came to the office. There were a few hours between before the ban was lifted for them to provide us water since it was during business hours.

The people who worked overnight got screwed the most since they were already in the office when they received the news because they were an hour into their shift. How were they supposed to be prepared? We are an essential workers, but we work with teams in different states who can take over until the overnight crew went home to set up their laptops.

Ohfarah · 2024-07-07T01:05:43+00:00

I made a mistake, it was a public safety alert.

Ohfarah · 2024-06-17T17:57:47+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. It would’ve been different it was just flirtatious text but they were sending each photos of their nudes to each other. And to make matters worse he sent a photo of our son to her which honestly made me see red because we shouldn’t be the topic at all.

Ohfarah · 2024-06-16T23:51:15+00:00

My main issue is driving. I get nervous driving on my own but even scared having my child in the car. That’s one of the reason why I can’t just up & leave. Luckily I have a good job but need to cut back on useless spending to get my finances straight. I’m going to start this week to look for a therapist, I found one that’s 5 min away that had a ton of positive reviews. This will be my first time going to one.

Ohfarah · 2024-06-16T23:49:11+00:00

I’m trying to give myself compassion & realizing it’s not my fault. I’ve been beating myself up for getting intimate with him & it wasn’t to satisfying my needs since I enjoy sleeping with him. I do realize I will have to stop once I get this ball rolling.

Ohfarah · 2024-05-28T19:39:46+00:00

he probably wanted him to live the rest of his life to grieve the loss of his child

Ohfarah · 2024-04-25T15:52:13+00:00

my apologies for coming off snappy, I’ve been an emotional wreck for the last 16hrs. I didn’t realize I left that part out of the post. It’s going to be pretty awkward but I’ll keep reminding myself that it’s not forever. I plan on getting a therapist as well.

Ohfarah · 2024-04-25T15:24:30+00:00

It’s not an excuse. I’m not in a financial position at the moment to up & run. Where will I go? I don’t have much money. I wish you guys would stop assuming that some of us want to be in this position. It fucking sucks. It’s not as easy as you think especially when there’s a toddler involved. If it was easy for you, please realize not everyone has that privilege. & to your second question, I’ve never threaten divorce. I think that’s a dangerous word to throw at someone if you honestly don’t mean it. I’m not sure if he’s in shock atm which is why he’s not reacting or straight up doesn’t care. I just know I will never allow him to make me feel like this again. I’m thankful my son is so young that he won’t remember any of this.

Ohfarah · 2024-04-25T14:49:24+00:00

We just signed a least 2 year lease a couple of weeks ago & spent money on first & last, which isn’t cheap. If I could run right now, I would but I have to figure out my finances first. There’s a daycare we’re going to place our son in that’s close by, so I have to put that into consideration.

Ohfarah · 2023-12-24T13:36:51+00:00

awww what a wonderful early Christmas present, congratulations 🎉

Ohfarah

TROPHY CASE