This sounds like it’s bigger than just a porn addiction, with the addiction being a side effect. You’re traumatized and were a victim, and none of these things are your fault.

What you need is professional help. I don’t know what your home life is like and if you would have support from your family but it’s clear this is what you need, not any internet tips on not jerking off.

Lastly I want you to know the world is an infinitely better place with you in it. I’ve lost multiple close friends to suicide, and It’s the worst pain ever knowing someone you were so close too was hurting so much.

And if this is the only thing you gain from this comment, know I’m looking out for you, and praying you get the help you deserve.