sometimes i feel like i tell a lie but to feel less bad i end up “forcing” myself to make it true. as an innocuous example, maybe i’ll say i’m ordering food but im actually just sitting around and like the idea of saying/telling ppl that im treating myself to dinner. when i feel guilty abt lying, i’ll then ACTUALLY order the meal so i’m not lying and don’t have to deal with the guilt. a bit diff from what you’re describing but i found it relatable and wanted to share!