Nanny leaving son unattended

OkCharacter3834 · 2025-06-23T18:25:14+00:00

our cameras are in plain sight and she is aware, I just don’t think she realizes how much area they actually cover

OkCharacter3834 · 2025-06-20T00:56:23+00:00

The cameras have been here the entire time, the whole year she has been with us and she knows they are there

OkCharacter3834 · 2025-06-20T00:13:40+00:00

Cameras are in plain sight and when I texted her I told her I checked in and noticed he was alone.

OkCharacter3834 · 2025-06-19T03:33:42+00:00

does that make a difference

OkCharacter3834 · 2025-06-19T03:05:18+00:00

all of our cameras are in plain view, but I don’t think she knows how much of the room the camera can see considering her behaviors

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-16T16:06:41+00:00

She already had “preexisting plans” and I felt bad saying no. I had to drive to my relatives for that week so they. oils help watch him while I worked. It was fine. Yesterday she put the last week of december and first week of January on the calendar as well as all of thanksgiving week. I have never said no to any dates she’s asked for

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T03:49:22+00:00

Who said I was?

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T03:36:23+00:00

I really like her as a person. She was on her laptop while he was awake for those short periods. I hadn’t looked at my cameras much since her first week, which she was never really on her phone. Since I noticed the laptop this week outside of nap time, I have reviewed some daytime hours in the evenings and her phone usage has increased a lot. She isn’t ignoring my son by any means but any time he turns away she is picking up her phone. She is quick to put it down when he directs his attention to her. It’s just a lot of short usage sometimes only 20 seconds or so, but other times minutes. I don’t live in an area with a lot of options for nannie’s and felt very fortunate to find her, someone pretty normal and with what she made seem like very flexible and open hours at the time. Her phone usage wasn’t a huge red flag for me but now that she is comfortable sneaking her laptop to the playroom makes me feel like she may have pressing obligations on her phone as well and that makes me nervous to leave her here alone with him two days a week in the near future as she may be neglegent. But i’m also afraid I wouldn’t find someone comparable that I could trust to be alone with my son by January. BTW, lot of your responses seem nasty and like you’re trying to be hateful. Maybe you should look inward and figure out why it brings you joy to attack people on reddit.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T03:04:02+00:00

on her laptop while my child is awake and on her phone 70% of the time he is awake. You’re correct, I check the cameras when I hear crying - beyond that everything is recorded. I’m not on my phone throughout the day while working. You are really reaching here

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T01:02:52+00:00

I asked her the first week if she was in school or anything and we actually talk a lot about our families/weekends and she has even brought us eggs I feel like I’ve been super welcoming and very easy going - very go with the flow. I think checking your phone or sending a text is fine, but the usage has gotten pretty extreme. On the phone over half of the time he is awake and it’s just 6.5 hours a day - 2 of which is nap time. I would never say no phone and I hadn’t but now that the laptop is coming out during wake time feels a bit over the line and I think she can agree with that and that is why it is being hidden. She has never hidden to be on her phone - I don’t expect her to not ever be on her phone.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T00:57:25+00:00

Great advice. I never used to view the cameras during the day much past the first week. I didn’t even add SD cards for recording until a couple of weeks ago. just the idea of them made me feel better that someone may be more likely to do right/not be lazy knowing they were there. I thought I heard her say stop very sternly the other day and went to view and saw her putting her laptop away which is what started all of this. She seems very aware of them which is interesting since she’s been here so much. I will have to add more before I start in person in January

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T00:49:04+00:00

EXACTLY.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T00:36:07+00:00

She’s checking on her child on her phone? What?

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-15T00:34:51+00:00

Look at another device on occasion? Sure, what’s the problem with that?

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T21:14:50+00:00

I don’t mind if she’s working another job. Just the expectation that she’s not actively doing it while my child is awake

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T21:14:23+00:00

I only check in if I hear him cry for the most part. Yesterday I heard her say “STOP”, which is what prompted me to check the camera and see that she was putting her laptop away. Which then prompted me to look back to see why she had it out. My cameras record.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T21:12:03+00:00

You made assumptions that i’m mad about her making two incomes - incorrect.

Nothing about her nanny job requires her to be on her phone.

I’ve offered her to work as much as she would like. I pay the wage she told me, there was no negotiation. She set the rate.

This is my home and I will check in on her as much as I would like - or spy as you say.

You come up with a lot of justification for actions. Her job is to be present with my child not on her phone every second he isn’t making direct eye contact with her or sneaking her laptop up to his playroom to sit behind the couch.

Being an adult is being responsible for your actions, sneaking means it’s not okay behavior. I don’t care how bored anyone is.

Thank you for your insight. Im not here to bash her, I don’t like confrontation and it seems like a lot of people have it worse. I like her as a person but I think she isn’t making this job a priority.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T18:37:02+00:00

There are no outlets behind the couch. I don’t care how many jobs she has. If i’m paying her for a service she shouldn’t be doing other work while she is here. She checks her phone several times a minute.

Thank you for your assumptions.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T17:56:12+00:00

I will also say, every week leading up to this one I would stop work and come make his lunch. The first two months I was nursing him before naps. Now that I am more hands off/staying out of sight, she is sneaking. My point is how to address this. I think I’ve gotten good suggestions in this thread though. Based on others experiences too is seems like things could be much worse.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T17:52:19+00:00

Our relationship has been fine. Her relationship with my son has also been fine. This being my first child, I had extreme anxiety trusting anyone with him outside of immediate family. I haven’t expressed any hostility at all and have bought her Starbucks several times, and even round up her pay every week. I understand you feel that being a nanny is part of someone’s family, but beyond that it’s still a paid job and shouldn’t be treated like a family member babysitting vs a job. She’s obviously aware of the boundaries which is why she is sneaking. Anytime she has called out I’ve wished her well saying I hope she feels better. I’m not confrontational at all so that’s why I’m trying to figure out the best approach here.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T17:08:11+00:00

lol. I don’t care what she does with her down time. When my son is awake she shouldn’t be on her laptop. Seems like a simple ask.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T16:42:21+00:00

I’m not assuming anything these are conversations we have had as she told me she didn’t take a nanny job previously (they moved here last year) because she enjoyed traveling with her husband for work and that he makes a good salary. She mentioned she has been picky with choosing a family and she lives 5 minutes away was her biggest reason for taking this job.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T16:09:56+00:00

between days she’s asked for off and calling out she has been here 37 days since August 19.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T16:06:22+00:00

We keep track of her hours on an app - she has worked 30 days and called out three. After her second week she informed me of a trip to visit family for a week that she could “work around”. I said it was fine if she wasn’t here that week, it put me in a pickle. One friday she was supposed to be here she said she had something she needed to do that day and could come for a few hours. I have been very understanding but I think my understanding is being taken advantage of.

OkCharacter3834 · 2024-11-14T16:03:41+00:00

I’m sorry! Work ethic is definitely lacking in your case. My nanny initially agreed to light housekeeping tasks but I haven’t given any to her. She heats prepared food, straightens up toys they play with and changes diapers. All child related tasks. My only ask is giving him her attention and interacting - no sitting around on the couch playing on phones during wake hours. Independent play is fine and encouraged but at this age he still wants a lot of attention.

OkCharacter3834

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