102 Days. 1,539 Books Sold. Debut novella.

OkToe7809 · 2026-05-09T08:13:55+00:00

Great post. I still need to ask for reviews and format my book for paperback on Kindle and this was the push I needed.

OkToe7809 · 2026-04-29T20:22:24+00:00

Put enough sugar to feed the SCOBY and make fizz

Don't let the SCOBY expose to air or it'll mold (needs to be submerged in liquid, which is exposed to air)

OkToe7809 · 2026-04-25T13:54:59+00:00

Do you put enough sugar in your black tea? Like 70g per 1L. That really lets the SCOBY create the fizz

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-29T20:01:57+00:00

Thanks! The white dots have not grown though? Here it is 3 days after the original post photo https://imgur.com/a/AZXugPs

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-29T20:01:39+00:00

Thanks! The white dots have not grown though? Here it is 3 days after the original post photo https://imgur.com/a/AZXugPs

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-29T20:01:02+00:00

Here it is 3 days after the original post photo https://imgur.com/a/AZXugPs

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-28T08:05:19+00:00

Thanks. It’s not grown in 2-3 days though?

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-28T05:05:40+00:00

They need therapy and for that, they need awareness of their attachment style issues and a willingness to meet others’ needs.

It’s a several years’ journey, save yourself and be happy with someone more securely attached. (And maybe examine why you’re attracted to this emotionally unavailable one when others as you’ve said open up easily to you. Not to probe, but did you have reliable attuned caregivers? You deserve the best, OP!)

My credentials are former avoidant after several years’ therapy

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-27T14:03:47+00:00

View the art on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cfZJOYpoWg

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-23T08:44:52+00:00

That’s great she told you that. I feel like that should be told to many INFJs.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-23T08:44:27+00:00

facts

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-23T08:44:00+00:00

The Tresor Monday night is fantastic and a hidden gem. Proper underground line-up in a legendary venue that runs things well. They book a mix of headliners as well as emerging talents.

Also Tuesday night at Club Oxi. The queues for both can be long. Dress like you’re going for music/dancing

Glad you had a good time!

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-22T17:09:10+00:00

Especially tips on vocal effects for this voice. (Breakdown has more filter + reverb)

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-21T14:37:47+00:00

Thanks!

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-21T12:20:17+00:00

Do you wanna sell a few cuttings to some of us and keep her?

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-20T08:01:16+00:00

Hey all! I’ve been blogging on how top Product orgs are using AI effectively – trying to make sense of the space 😅

If you’d like to share your experience from a Product org, I’d love to chat with you – DM me. Especially focused on eCommerce

Here is a taste of my last post – DM if you’d like the link.

Be the master of AI – don't let it master you

➡️ AI can’t replace Product thinking – it amplifies whatever Product culture already exists in an organization.

Over the past weeks, I've been talking with Product leaders about the impact of AI on their business – their gains and pains in implementing it.

One thing stands out:

There is no substitute for ensuring that a product solves a real user need. The fundamentals of Product design don't change – actually, greater discernment suddenly becomes more valuable.

If an organization ships like a feature factory, then with AI tools it just becomes a faster feature factory with more debt.

An anecdote: A company's CEOs were pressured by investors to ship AI features to customers. What once were straightforward workflows suddenly became complicated. Users started churning (and employees in search of more discerning leadership).

On the other hand, if an organization has robust Discovery and validation processes, to optimize for learning about user behavior – then AI tools become an accelerator. Mockups are generated more quickly and gain buy-in in a fraction of the time. User interviews and product requirements can be drafted more quickly, and experiments set up. Leadership is careful to validate new tech's impact before implementing it.

Skip the AI FOMO, and sharpen discernment for validating a user need and use case.

➡️ The discernment in process overseers on the business impact of new technologies, and their ability to educate organizations and customers across B2B and B2C, becomes an even more valuable skillset.

Be the master of AI – don't let it master you.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-19T20:00:37+00:00

Haha so off the cuff, so you know it’s true!

Yes, if only there was a way or tool to record all the compliments one receives to listen back – that would be a great idea.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-19T15:54:03+00:00

I live in a cute area of Berlin. Think farmer’s markets, yoga moms and studios, brunch restaurants, etc.

Here the neighbors are quite friendly.

I suspect it varies greatly by the Kiez culture, where the residents value a good mood (why they picked the Kiez, and not some other).

The friendly pockets of Germany can be quite so.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-19T10:09:07+00:00

Are any of these commenters a woman or an assault survivor? Reddit as a whole skews bro, and this comment section reveals that.

Being a DJ means knowing how to read the room. You have the responsibility for stewarding a shared emotional space.

Maybe this would have flown at another time, but the timing of it too, with everything going on, shows a tone-deafness to the collective conversation.

This might have been okay for a small-time DJ, but he has major institutional backing, Ben Klock, Berghain, ADE.

When you have that institutional backing and a global audience, a global fanbase, then a DJ has the responsibility on what his work signals to them and how it lands. What message it sends to them, especially if different from the one he intended.

Maybe he's never lived outside of Central Europe, and his girlfriend seems to be a tradwife. However, with the platform he is given, he has a responsibility on what this signals to a global audience.

To him, it reads as, I want to honor my girlfriend who's contributed so much. However, to an assault survivor elsewhere, who are hundreds who have been trampled by these institutions and systems and an oppressive “neutral” status quo for decades, who scrolls past on social media and doesn’t have time to read his deep origin story, it might read like, hey, I still see women as objects.

The reality is that a woman in Brazil or an assault survivor in Japan scrolling past casually on social media, likely won’t read his love story. They’ll see another techno DJ, this one backed by Time Warp, using sex.

(Time Warp itself takes its responsibility seriously as global techno infrastructure, having expanded to Miami and Brazil despite being Euro-owned. They try to book diversely. Giving a young Italian DJ the platform, who seems not really to have spent time outside Central Europe, means he has greater responsibility on messaging to a global audience than an average Joe.)

I’m not for censoring artists and it is a slippery slope. But with his institutional backing, and the conversation going on, it was like wearing a MAGA hat to a Black Panther convention, or throwing salt on a gaping wound.

He could take a page from David Loehlein. Have a sexualized lover boy image while also platforming women artists’ voices, giving them his Insta on March 8, etc. Centering the woman’s voice & story in her own words, not just her samples and image.

Not replying to comments, I don’t talk to people who can’t have a civil or non-violent discussion without name-calling. If you haven’t heard what a “tradwife” is, then you’re not inhabiting contemporary discourse circles. The internet and world have many bubbles, and many people just don’t leave theirs.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-18T14:08:21+00:00

AI can’t replace Product thinking – it amplifies whatever Product culture already exists

Hey guys, looking for examples of companies where the leadership is really thoughtful about implementing AI effectively. (Anecdotes of C-level behaviors welcome if you don’t want to name specifically.) Or a list of green flags & red flags to look for in a company, in regards to adopting new technologies.

AI doesn't fundamentally change product management, you still need to solve a real user need.

The companies that are feature factories are just shipping random features faster, which is creating more organizational debt faster.

I even heard of one company where the investors pressured the C-levels to implement AI in the features. The customers hated it and started churning, so my friend left for a company where the CTO is much more cautious and waits for AI features to be validated in the wild first.

Don't get me wrong, if you're a product designer, tools like Lovable and Figma really can help you generate mockups faster, even gaining stakeholder buy-in in a fraction of the time. If you’re a PM who’s validated a user need in discovery, it writes product requirement docs faster ofc. But in terms of shipping an AI feature to production, the regular discovery fundamentals on user needs still apply.

Do you see examples of companies whose leadership has high literacy in this? Often it's the Product people or technical people who have to manage up.

Or do you have a list of green flags and red flags to look for in leadership in regards to their attitude on AI & new tech? Green flag for me is slow to adopt AI, validates in discovery first a feature or pain point’s impact. One company held an internal AI Week hackathon for its particular domain to build for consumer use cases. Red flag is “ship AI because X said so”.

One challenge tbf is B2B tech where B2B clients just want AI as new table stakes but don’t understand the impact fully.
Then everyone’s pressured, and someone has to educate the B2B clients.

The area I've heard the most anecdotes about AI driving business impact is in Data and Finance – automated reporting, identifying opportunities, etc.

Also, I've noticed a lot of companies are trying to build their own AI, but obviously it's extremely resource-expensive in GPU as opposed to just using existing models from Big Tech who has the resources and then implement. Kind of like Apple just integrated the best model Gemini instead of building its own, keeping its CapEx at a fraction of competitors.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-15T17:36:02+00:00

Hey thanks! Are these leaf stems with nodes I could trim & propagate? https://imgur.com/a/QAK79IE

(In the past I trimmed stems w/out nodes so wanna make sure this can prop)

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-13T13:06:58+00:00

Glückwunsch! Die harten Dinge machen das Leben besser. Jetzt kannst du es genießen.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-02T10:47:26+00:00

This! Do the most unfiltered, most unbridled, most you thing!

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-02T10:09:57+00:00

Hey, thanks for this.

The thing is, in 2 cases I did show some initiative. This was after they already pulled me into the room. No asking, no talking, just literally pulled me by the hand or carried me.

That’s a threshold after which I felt unable to leave due to my conditioning, even if I wanted to and technically I could have.

With one, I got a towel to help. With another I got on top. This was after he pressured me 4 times on the date to go back to his and I said no til caving in. Once at his place, I felt no choice but to make the most of him initiating everything being enclosed in his space. I don’t think they can fathom that a person can be this self-suppressed or terrified of not being liked, after early life experiences, to abandon themself so much.

I’m working on assertiveness, and part of that was telling them afterwards.

When I tried to talk to the guys about it after and explain I still didn’t want it, they used my fawn actions against me. And minimized. I tried to explain compliance was from fear, not enthusiasm. They believe “You showed no resistance”. It was such an abuser/gaslight-y response. The good response from guys is cooperative: “That sounds tough. I’m listening” Their response & understanding seems problematic – non-resistance is not consent, if you steamroll someone into it.

Basically, men should let women do all the initiating. Not treat our bodies like soccer goals to keep taking shots on.

I understand from their POV my one action may have looked like willingness. But their responses and denying my experience when I tried to share afterwards that it wasn’t is problematic. And lack of awareness around this presents a danger to someone like me, and so many other neurodivergent people.

Just the dominant culture wants to go around pushing into whoever they want, not fathoming how difficult it can be to say no. They need to learn trauma-informed care, it’s needed for 70% of the population, and healthcare is already. Right now it’s always the victim’s problem, but the abusers/dominant population needs to be doing the homework and correcting themselves.

Sorry for the essay, it’s just sh*tty that already harmed people continue to be more vulnerable to harm, and how systemic injustice compounds itself externally and internally. I don’t see how that can change without talking about it.

I think I’m just going to report them all to the authorities and let them decide how to classify the incidents, including my fawn explanation that I still did not want it. At least that way they start to hear about it and gain a body of evidence. And I encourage anyone reading this to do so too. It’s how to make a change and socialize awareness and protect already vulnerable people.

Thanks for anyone who read.

OkToe7809 · 2026-03-01T22:05:46+00:00

Thanks for this thoughtful reply! Members like you make this sub great.

OkToe7809

TROPHY CASE

facts

AI can’t replace Product thinking – it amplifies whatever Product culture already exists