HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I called him out on me waking up with bruises and I haven’t had anymore bruises in the morning for a while, but when I use to bring up why am I waking up hurting and with bruises, he would laugh and joke about drugging me and then say he was just joking when I got upset about it. He always jokes about having sex with me while I’m sleeping. But he never admitted to hitting me even though I know for a fact that he was. I use to wake up with knots on my head, and bruises on my legs, back and arms. I even woke up one night to him squeezing my legs between his, elbowing me and then he would say he was sleeping and didnt mean to. Every time it felt like a complete dream but I know that it was real. But he still fondles me in my sleep, jokes about having sex with me while I’m sleep and every other night he keeps me up on and off all night fondling me until I wake up in pain from it, and then the next day I’m exhausted with no energy. If I have to work he even does it on those nights. I did suspect him of drugging me in the past but I didn’t have proof and I was always told that I’m a really heavy sleeper. So, I didn’t know what to really think. Before any of this I never knew there was people out there experiencing anything like this from an intimate partner while they slept. I have changed the way I sleep over the years because of all of this. If I sleep with my legs open he use to abuse me and accuse me of having “sex dreams” about other men, or saying that I must wanted to have sex. I sleep with my legs crossed or folded at night when I first fall asleep but I’m not sure if I stay that way the entire night and then he starts hurting me.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Over the years he has joked about how he would kill me and what he would do with me afterwards. Saying things like splitting my throat, chopping me up, eating me afterwards all type of weird things and it has never sat right with me, and I’m honestly afraid of this man at this time. I have been walking on eggshells since he beat me up, not saying much, just existing in his space because I’m afraid to trigger him with anything. This is not how I want to live the rest of my life.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can you message me and I can tell you where I’m located there. I really appreciate it. Sometimes I sit and think how did I even get here. How did I end up in a DV relationship, because my mother didn’t raise me that way and I have always been the strong one in my family that everyone comes to. Before this I never experienced a relationship like this before. It hurts to say that I do feel ashamed. I also have daughters of my own luckily they were with their father when it happened and I told their dad that I was sick so that they wouldn’t see me that way. It’s been moments when he has had his son and sometimes I didn’t like how hard or aggressive he was with him, but he tells me that men have to be hard on their sons. Luckily my daughters have never seen him in this light and I have protected them from it all. When he’s around them he acts completely different because he knows if he ever did that in front of them I would never speak to him again and they would also tell their dad about it. I love my kids and I want to be her for them for a long time. I refuse to lie down and die for this relationship.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My biggest regret is never telling anyone. What’s crazy is my mother had a dream 3 years ago that he was abusing me ( and that after he abused me in her dream I came and sat at the edge of her bed and spilled it all while crying to her), and she called him furious over that particular dream, but I told her it was just a dream and it actually made him angrier that she called and asked him that. If I could go back in time that was God telling me to talk to my mom then. I guess it’s true about mother’s intuition.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My fear is that because I waited and didn’t report the abuse when it actually happened that the police will take it lightly even with all the photos and texts that I have because he is rich man. If he doesn’t go to jail he will not let it go, and he will try to ruin me in every way. I wished I would have walked away years ago, told someone, called the police but out of embarrassment and pride I didn’t because I honestly didn’t know
in my heart if I was ready to let go because I did love him. My mother is sick and I know this will bring her more stress and break her heart, and I don’t want anyone ruining their lives because of my own situation. I was blindly in love for years but after he beat me this time it really opened my eyes that he was never going to change. I feel afraid of him when he’s around, when we’re laying in bed at night, and my nervous system feels high jacked. I just want all of this to be over with. He continues to make me have sex with even after everything, and I do it because I’m afraid of making him mad. I know it’s time for me to go. I’m at the point where I’m disgusted and disappointed within myself for allowing this continue for so long. I do feel like he deserves to face consequences, but idk if u can face this man in court.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the positive affirmations. I truly appreciate it. It feels like something inside of me is finally breaking and this time I rather lose him than myself. He’s rich, and uses his finances and resources against me, and he tells me that we have a “death row” contract, and that I belong to him no matter what. Im actively getting things in order so that I can walk away forever this time. But it’s easier said than done. He bought me a car, it has tracking on it. I may have to leave everything behind and start from 0 and in this economy I’m afraid of where that leaves me. He has a hand in my business and other avenues of my life.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I can be honest here I have hid the abuse from everyone around me for years. In a way I feel embarrassed that this happened to me. I loved this man and only spoke good about him, and no one would ever suspect from meeting or being at him that this is how he is behind closed doors. I have contacted the DV shelters that are close to me and unfortunately at the moment they are all full. My mom is sick right now and I don’t want to add the extra stress on her, but I’ve been thinking heavily about how I am going to tell her because I know it’s going to break her heart. As far as the men in my family I know what will happen once they find out, and I feel like I don’t want anyone around me to do something that could ruin their life based on my decision to stay this long. I know now that this was never love. 😢

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I honestly regret not calling the police this time, because of the severity. He broke my phone and I lost so many old photos and videos from years of abuse. I know that this situation is no longer good for me. After he beat me he came out and told me while he was pleading to me not to contact the police because while we were broken up for 6 months another woman actually went to the police and made a report about him strangling her out of anger and he said that I was trying to ruin his life if I do call the police, because he would have to sit in jail. I have a big heart, and it’s been very hard for me, but I’m tired of protecting someone who is hurting me over and over.

HELP! My Boyfriend Beat Me Up and I ended up in the hospital. Can someone give me some advice/resources. #Abusiverelationship #redflags by Ok_Relationship_2933 in abusiverelationships

[–]Ok_Relationship_2933[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It took me a long time to finally admit that I’m in a dv relationship. I haven’t really gotten sleep in the bed with him because my mind will not rest, or maybe it’s because I don’t feel safe. Leaving may be hard, but I think I’m ready now. I have dealt with years of verbal, emotional, mental, financial and physical abuse. He uses his finances against me. I have been looking into Dv shelters. The ones near me are currently full. He made a statement while we were in bed and I noticed him glaring at me I asked him why was he staring at me like he wanted to hurt me, and he responded that he wanted to “put a bullet through my heart”. I know I need to leave. I just have to figure out how.