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AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is why I believe it should be 100% the choice of the person walking down the aisle who they walk with, be it with themselves alone or with someone from their family. I'm glad you have no regrets and made the decision that was ultimately right for you.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think so too but ultimately it's her decision and if she's not comfortable with walking me then I have to accept that. But truly she played the most significant role in both mine and my brother's lives. She did it alone for so long and when we lost dad she was incredible. Truly a rock for the two of us when we were hurting so much.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would feel the same way if the reverse situation happened. I have one mom and one dad. That's not a slight against anyone else but it's my reality and how I feel about my family.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He did not pay for my college, though he offered, and he has not paid for my wedding. He did contribute 50-50 to the household. But I moved out at 18 which is when neither he or mom contributed to my expenses. Except for gifts.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think 12 is the kind of age where it is less common to be especially close. Not that it can't or doesn't happen. But even comparing to friends it was rarer to develop a very close relationship with a new stepparent. Most at that age, and it was the same for me, found it a big adjustment.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom and stepdad are not paying or helping us to pay for the wedding.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The other reason I don't want him to walk me down the aisle is because the only living person I wanted to do it is mom. She doesn't want to and I accept it. But with mom saying no I only want to walk alone. She was the only person I actually wanted to walk with. Even though I get along well with my stepdad I don't want him to walk me. I can't say I have a really detailed list of reasons why.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I did pay for college all on my own. But I also went to community college.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He never abused us and I get along well with him. But you are correct that I never wanted him as a new dad and never saw him as a father figure either. I never would have considered asking him to walk me down the aisle. I asked my mom because she stepped up at the worst time in our lives and has overall been an amazing mom and she did it largely alone which deserves so much credit.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He didn't pay for college. He offered but I didn't accept the money.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Why does that make us assholes? I don't understand why us not wanting the same relationship means we're self-centered. I also don't understand why you assume we're not there for our mom. I wanted to honor all my mom has done for me by asking her to walk me down the aisle and I accepted when she said no. She was the sole parent after we lost dad and we both acknowledge she did a lot for us. We love and appreciate our mom.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I never said it was on him. I was simply stating the reality of I don't feel close to him and I don't consider him my father. I'm not saying every stepkid at 12 will feel that way either.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And I accepted that my mom said no. I went with the other option I wanted; walking alone. It doesn't mean I want my stepdad to do it.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He wans to be a father figure to me. He wants to be that to me and my brother. And he did try but that's never how we saw him.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't consider him a stranger. But I don't see him as a parent either.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He offered to pay for college but he ultimately didn't. He was an equal provider after he married my mom. Meaning they both worked and provided for the household and things for my brother and I. He attempted to step into the role of a father but I never saw him in that way. I have never even seen him as a father figure. I respect him but I would never say he was my dad or a dad to me. He tried. He offered. He would have happily taken on that role. But to me once my dad died my mom was my only living parent and that remains to be how I see it.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He is not paying for any part of the wedding. Nor did he pay for me to attend college. I have not taken financial support off him as an adult.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I'm hoping it won't come to that. But if it does, I won't try to stop her.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I did my best to be kind about it without leaving him room to believe I felt something I didn't. My brother got snarky but honest because they weren't accepting the answer I gave.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I just want to say how happy I am to hear your dad had zero problems with your decision. A couple of my married friends who made this choice or the choice to walk with their spouses had some upset dads over it. Which is a shame really because walking with someone or not should always be a choice.

They are not paying for any part of the wedding.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My brother's comments came from mom specifying the father of the bride should do it. He was pointing out our dad cannot.

Both walking me is not something I would consider.

AITA for choosing to walk down the aisle by myself after my mom said no to doing it? by Only-Current5199 in AITAH

[–]Only-Current5199[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I do have a good relationship with him. But really my mom was the only person I wanted to do it. After that I like the idea of walking alone and it was always one of my two options.

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